The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 32

No make-up and unkempt hair to play a mom figure with 3 kids for a short film audition shooting in Oakland so I'm crossing my fingers because I'd get to visit fam bam in the Bay once again and who complains about that! The interesting aspect of this audition was that there were sides for the other roles but none for this character so a monologue was requested and since I had no monologues off the cuff for this particular role I decided an impromptu, improv monologue was in order. When I first got the message I was at work and skimmed the message on Saturday with no time because of an upcoming audition the next day with the Actors Studio in L.A. I took more of a gander Sunday evening to realize the audition was to be sent in via self submission by Monday evening 11:59pm. I decided the most I could do was research and the only research avail was to look at the sides for all the other characters to see what I could come up with. After reading the roles I took the evening to just let that sink in and went about my Monday morning until I had an idea about what I may say during the process of washing dishes. Didn't think too much about it, just decided with the idea and to let the camera roll to capture whatever came out of my mouth for this moment...no written reminders just some off the top of my head things to create. Times like these I'm happy I trained at the places I went to and especially to Lifebook/Allen Levin for creating dramatic/comedic grounded into reality, improv activities to keep us up on things that could happen at any time for any audition. I stopped my first take after a minute because I thought it wasn't going anywhere, stopped the second take at the beginning because I felt a bit off and within minutes let the 3rd take roll and decided to keep going. No more than 3 takes...had to let it go and this is what I came up with off an idea and a morning - since it's mine for an audition I'm able to share.

Over 10 years ago I was referred to try out for the Actors Studio L.A. as in "Inside the Actors Studio" in New York but I just convinced myself I wasn't good enough...not even to audition. These last few years I've worked with quite a few encouraging directors/actors that pressed upon me to look into the place without knowing my back story with my feelings on this school. So about a year ago I submitted my cover letter etc and finally heard back from them about 3 months ago letting me know my application was accepted and to confirm whether I wanted a Sept. or Oct. audition. I chose Sept but then booked a play that was stating it would start and upon looking at the production schedule, I would be performing on the day of the audition so I had to send another note stating I had to switch months if they were still open to that because of the play. Of course the play was pushed and I didn't want to recontact them so I kept my Oct. date. I already had the idea to do a scene from the play "Closer" with Anna and Larry (played by Clive Owen & Julia Roberts in the feature,) because of the stakes involved however with 5 minutes, the scene has to take off immediately because of what it gets into. Me and Michael (Huddy) meet up just to read the scene/feel it out/push the scene a couple of times a week for 2 weeks and then the week of intense rehearsals start in of just going in Sun/Tues-Thurs/Sat with the audition timed out for Sunday at 2:50p. We go from 7-8 minutes to getting it at 4:45 and we're both confident that this scene plays well to both of our strengths. We practice physicality, hits, mental buttons to push and it's absolutely draining for the most part plus I had to drive an hour there, an hour plus back (405 traffic) and an hour for rehearsals. I don't want the scene to be anything like the movie so I decided to make the character more stronger, yes, she still breaks down but her stance during the adversity is to fight back. I have her standing toe to toe with her guy to claw for her way out and Huddy with his amazing intimidating frame, uses every bit of his ego in the scene. I feel we're ready and it's Sunday, we meet about 40 minutes before our time, run lines, get into our flow and off to the races we go. I feel the scene has everything we need from touch, to changes, to a sense of danger, to imploding, to exploding and we execute. Got stuck behind the couch for a minute but it didn't change anything about the scene, I felt we were in and I felt we went to places most are afraid to explore. They never yelled cut, I ended up calling scene and we exited quickly. We celebrated with hugs since this was such a huge feat for me to finally have auditioned for this place when we noticed all the markings on Huddy's body from my pushes to slaps (his skin was way more sensitive but the marks were fading as we were leaving - whew)...of course he had slapped first but again, I wanted Anna stronger than what she was portrayed as. I felt safe every time we worked out the grabs/hits...so important for this to not only be rehearsed but that you feel comfortable and safe with your scene partner. I choose Huddy because I knew although we were going into some dark places that he was just as aware of the physicality as I was during those moments. No fear, just our art speaking and we left it in the room...I could care less about the outcome, I was just happy I finally accomplished a fear. Although I heard the next day that they liked me but the scene wasn't all they wanted - which is too bad because with 5 minutes, they got a small bit of laughs/bewilderment, sadness, fear, anger, confusion as well as lots of touch mixed in. I'm suppose to wait another year to reapply which would mean 2 more years before auditioning again but I'm set to audition again next year, so here's to another year of coming up with another scene that'll give them more laughs that take a more sharp turn into the dramatics because that's the only thing I could think of that was possibly missing from our scene! New challenge accepted because it is one of my goals in life to be there now...I deserve that, my art deserves it and I'm not taking no for an answer on this. See ya in a year Actors Studio...

With all the craziness of the world today, me and the beast decided to support a local restaurant in the Woodland Hills area that was having a buffet style dinner in support of Autism at his spot, Curry Up Cafe. We played video games...I got the high score - I had too, because that's how I roll when I see Ms. Pac Man...we ate and ate and ate...took home the Hawaiian bread pudding that had to be eaten on another day but tasted just as delish as the night I grabbed it all while donating to charity. Chef Wongie was gracious and there were plenty of cute kiddos around to remind you what life is all about. Finally made it to a spot I've seen nothing but great food pictures of and I can't wait to be able to hit it back up again!

In 6 more days these beautiful shows will premiere and I can't wait for you guys to see them...

and...Discovery ID's Married with Secrets with stills from the upcoming episodes and behind the scenes thanks to the camera operator/dp Thomas Jacobi...2 stills of our episode comes in around 4:15 seconds - enjoy and tune in Oct. 25th, then tell me what you think if you're ever so inclined!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 31

Short film audition and I get to see some beautiful, familiar faces (Trina and Anika) which gives me joy knowing we're all here getting some work in. These ladies put in work so it's always nice just to be in the same room with them, means I'm doing my job. With brilliant shows like "Atlanta" and "Insecure" coming about, it has given the minorities in this industry, different facets of our being which is so important to the scope of what most of us have been fighting for but still the fight continues because sometimes you can still hear what someone is actually looking for by paying close attention to their words without even them realizing what they may be saying. Case in point, I receive the audition the night before for 3 pages of dialogue. I quickly look it over and decide to disregard a lot of the action since it would require me to touch someone (my son in the script.) I hate to mime and it's just a personal choice for myself but I feel physical action is involved because there was sooooooo much physical action taking place so I replace it with a few small gestures to play the scene to my understanding. After the scene, casting stated they liked my read and enjoyed my ending and was given no notes/redirection. I grabbed my stuff to exit and was stopped by the person running the camera - could've been the director or writer who then stated something to the effect of "Are you a theatre actor?" In which I stated yes, and then went on to say "I could tell by your gestures and like how you're standing now (mind you bag in hand, still and getting ready to exit out the door as I listen) is more powerful. You had this really nice "spark" towards the middle (where I go in on my son about a word used) which was great and if you could create that "spark" from the beginning to the end then this scene for you would've been 10 NOTCHES HIGHER!" I listened, ingested and smiled...said thank you and exited...I did not ask to do it again because I wasn't asked to do it again. Actors, do not shift from what you did to defend yourself or your work in the room and do not ask to do it again if they didn't because if they want to see a choice that they clearly have stuck in their head, they should be the ones to ask for it...it's not your job to do that...especially in the room...WALK AWAY. Look, not all choices that you make will be felt by the person in the room, especially if their vision is different but all you as an artist can hope for, is that even with whatever vision they have created in their mind, that you and your work can step in, if they're open to it and take them on a different journey. I've had way too many readings where I was told at the end that they (casting) never saw it in that particular way, that they (casting) was going to stop me, thought I was in trouble but as they watched, became open to what I saw in the text then allowed themselves to be taken on a ride/journey. This doesn't happen all the time, it's only the few magical moments when everyone in the room is open but this is the part I adore whether I book or not but it's also my take so I can only hope to have a shot to give them their take if needed. Learn to laugh it off guys and laugh big...this person had no idea of the space I could fill going 10 notches higher but for me, this scene didn't require that. That "spark" that "sass" as I read into this person's critique came in when I needed it to come in and not a minute sooner because the moments before were about something completely different...to me. I took into consideration that on set, I wouldn't be standing still in front of the camera, reciting my lines because there was actual direction/movement given in the sides so standing with bag in hand as I listened, wasn't going to be my scene...so again, listen to the critique, ingest it and then if it's for you, let it move you but if it feels random and just another thought, that's all that it is. Let that go, laugh and move on. Understand that sometimes, people have a strict opinion of what the scene looks like to them and there is nothing you can do to change that, you can only hope to be given the opportunity to change their mind or show them that it can be given if they allow it but DO NOT LET ANYONE, (NOT EVEN THE DIRECTOR,) MAKE YOU FEEL LESS ABOUT YOUR CHOICES (of course, have reasoning and work put into them but you know when you've made strong, clear choices and are able to articulate that!) Opinions are like buttholes, everyone's got one and as an artist you are at the most vulnerable, especially at auditions. Critiques/suggestions come out of many mouths but you as an artist must decipher that code and not take any one thing personally. One person wants one thing and the next person may not, some like miming, some don't, be up in their faces giving grit but not too much as to scare them and it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it. You'll be running to every acting coach in town, paying private after private to help forsee what someone may want only to end up with someone else's opinion of what someone they don't know may want in the room. THAT ISN'T YOUR JOB...your job is to make clear, concise choices of what you want this character to be, how you truly would play them if they are so lucky to have you play that role. Of course there is compromise when given the opportunity because sometimes you don't have the full story, adjustments are given with explanations for the most part or the director would like to see something else and voila. This is all fun guys and the sooner you learn to let things roll off, you'll see all the glorious goodness of what you have to offer and to give to any role you play - enjoy this process, it's eye opening and it keeps you fighting! On to the next...with what I envision as well...

The episode I did for the new pilot "Married With Secrets" on Discovery ID is officially on the books and set to release Oct. 25th at 10p. They shot 8 episodes, we were #7 and was told that it will now be the premiering episode for the show...how cool is that! So far, the trailer is the only thing released so enjoy and as soon as I get more clips, I'll put them on here as well. Tune in, 11 days and counting...
https://www.facebook.com/InvestigationDiscovery/videos/10154304779689902/


Next up is "Bee Luther Hatchee" coming at you around the 2nd week of January 2017. A play for the Sierra Madre Playhouse with rehearsals starting towards the end of November. I'm in the role of "Libby" which was the role I truly thought I'd be challenged on as well as pushed under the watchful, talented eye of Ms. Saundra Mclain once again. I'm now researching my Gullah accent as well as looking deeper into the script so that I can bring this role to life while being in this unbelievable play that delves into so much of what we're going through now. I can't believe I get to be a part of this story...I wanted to play this role so bad, my beast made me an image to keep me happy while prepping for it! HA - Enjoy!!!!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 30

From audition to the callback  another student film producition but this one with a $100 a day pay included for the NYFA in Burbank, so of course I go because some money is way better than no money for work I'd do for free pending, when time permits - crossing fingers now. Again, it's a project and a role I haven't quite done yet so let me state, diversify now, while you can, whenever you have the opportunity. Do not allow yourself to be stuck into a box, that'll come and maybe it's going on now so accept jobs that'll push your boundaries of art so you don't have to fight so hard in the future to prove you can do it! I also decided this year that my work speaks for itself and I wouldn't submit on projects with no pay unless it was a role I haven't done or for friends I've shot with before. Listen my arties, there comes a time when free isn't an option, when you've paid your dues, when you've been struggling for far too long and because you know you'll bring your work to work, that you as an artist deserve some sort of compensation. Gas money is good at the bare minimum but even after getting some roles you'll move on to wanting at least $50 a day to cover maybe a day at work and although that doesn't cover most of it, it covers some of it and you did something you loved while getting paid. You deserve that as an artist and it's hard to demand that in this business because most people want to do it for free...GOOD, let them find those people. Starting out, needing that experience and wanting that credit is fine, but as you're paying for training, paying for headshots to audition, paying for clothes to look the part, paying for gas to get to the audition, paying by not getting paid from your survival job, paying for an opportunity that you may hear nothing on...eventually you must decide for yourself that you deserve something for the work you put in. Don't feel guilty about that, you as an artist putting in your time should be able to make some sort of living wage. So if it's free, I'm hoping you're getting a good lunch - wonderful, much needed experience - a new connection, if it's gas, I hope it's a role you need in your wheelhouse plus some good food and I say anything above that is working actor status so appreciate and go in to kill it! The audition is super late with an 8pmer which I have to try to change if possible but the timing was from 7p - 9p so I kept it as is. The call back happened late at night with a day's notice and once again, since I work on weekends, it fell right into my job time. I tried with all my might to get it changed from 12p to 1:30p since I get off at 1p, no can do because they have the room until 1p and taking the audition til 12:45p. They were super kind to try and work it out for me and my job stepped in letting me leave after 3 hours to make this audition and then I returned in good faith back to it for work the last hour I missed. This rarely comes up but boy am I thankful I work at a job that adjusts with me as well as rooting for me, you can't find too many places that do, so when you do, you hold on...it may not be all you want it to be but if it's a better means to an end and you enjoy yourself, don't be embarrassed working at a place that most people would find "cliche." Screw those people, the ones that judge you for going for your dreams, the ones that most likely gave up on theirs and so they make fun of how you try to make it happen. The only one having to pay your bills while pursing your art is you and if you like what you do, screw them all. I enjoy the restaurant business, I just don't want it to be full time and so if the person's idea of being funny is "So, you're an actor...what restaurant do you work at?" Say it proudly, say it knowing you haven't discarded what makes your soul happy. "I work at an amazing, bakery that serves fantastic breads, croissants and meals that have upgraded the community I live in...plus I get to work towards my art, which makes it all worthwhile...thank you very much...so what do you do? And do you love it?" Then walk away, stanky face if you wish...they don't deserve your breathe...save that for your creativity!

With such a full day I ended up going with my beast who drove me to the audition then to an indie of the 9:55p show of "Reparation" at the Monica Laemmle to see my "Al Pacino" Ms. Virginia Newcomb gracing the big screen touching on the subject of PTSD. Loving every minute of watching a story that needs to be told come to life and knowing my girl is a part of it...making art, making a difference. Check for it in a town coming near you and support good Indie work so that besides all the blockbusters, this industry becomes aware of stories that make you see something in a more humane way, challenges you to become a better person or makes you question what you may truly believe is right by seeing another perspective. Even got to eat next door at Flower Girl with some tasty vegan plus dishes with some much needed local beer to celebrate - thai quinoa with tofu and some of the tastiest gluten free mac and cheese around...YES PLEASE!

Speaking of my celebration of friends (after filming a small ditty for another play at Greencourt directed by my last director Ms. Kate Jopson), I hit up a one woman show happening at Two Roads Theatre in Studio City - "Women on The Verge" by a very talented female writer I've had the pleasure to work for, Ms. Kimba Henderson. I've had my own one woman show in the back of my head for at least 4 years so whenever I get a moment to check this type of show out, to help me flesh out my ideas, I do so. You leave inspired, knowing it'll be your time soon to give that kind of all of your art. This show runs for another couple of weeks, don't miss it...especially if you're looking for some heart string tugs!!!

Tis the season of Halloween goodness and even though I'm not the biggest fan, (unless I'm at Knott's shooting lasers at zombies) my beast shares a Born Day in this very fun month that he enjoys immensely. Decided to check out "CreepLA" this year because 2 actors I know and love (great work Bill & Graham, both pictured) had parts in this totally weird, mind jacking, artful interactive, expression of haunt going down all month. Theatrics with a high level of creep factor including neck grabbing and breathing down your neck while getting black dots on your face randomly and looking at disturbing images to really put you in the spirit of this season. This is fashioned after a real artist who pushed many envelopes in the 70's, so I appreciated the mind behind it all. I'm always curious at the idea that when people push their art in whatever form, when fear is challenged, these creative beings can be marked heretics, loons, devil worshippers etc. etc. etc. from others who don't understand. I hope one day, someone can just create freely without this type of societal judgement being thrust on their work...one day...until then, I'll keep appreciating as many forms of art that I possible can see and I encourage you to do the same - scream on my beauties!!! One day, I'll have a horror film as a main character under my belt...

Just wrapped up on the upcoming web series "Trouble Creek County" coming 2017 and I can't tell you how much it meant to finally be seen past my hair, past my look and into my art for reals...because being a Deputy isn't in my "box" as this industry would put it. Bohemian, maybe art teacher etc but to be given a shot at this was the difference when women are in the room. Women who understand the art/work is what counts and the "look" can be worked around the role and worked they did! They could've picked the other gal at the call backs with her hair already pulled back but they took a shot on me and for that I am eternally grateful. These are the moments and times you know as an artist, that you were finally seen...all that character work you put in trumped what you looked like on the outside. I had a hair and make-up team that was outta this world and they just dove in unafraid of my hair and skin! Most of the cast and crew were from "Major Crimes," I even had a stand in ya'll which was so very cool. I had to take a pix with her, just to let her know how much I appreciated her...I stood in before for over a season and a half for someone ridiculous years ago and I will never be what that person was to me - NEVER! Vera was awesome and always around paying attention, even when I wasn't - couldn't have had a better stand in so chatting and getting to know this beautious creature were in order! Sound wrapped around my leg, wardrobe on and I was "Deputy Kirby" ready to act with this amazing team supporting us all, including a female camera operator which is so rare to see and such a treat when you do! Reading words created and written by 2 phenomenal women wanting to tell a story...this is the good stuff ya'll. Sometimes you get blinded by the glitz and lights of it all, but the well written, passion project that has something to say will always have my heart! Don't get so obsessed with the brightness that you forget to pay attention to the gems, the rough around edges that are waiting for a rough around, talent like you. You never know, you may meet Shea and Stacey in the room, cheering you on wanting to work with you as much as you'd like to work with them talented beings! Don't I look like a cop??? And if they can make me look like one, then all is possible...GO GET IT GUYS!!!!

I also got a chance to catch the premiere episode of "Cheetah in August" at the Downtown Independent recently which is coming to Bawn TV first on Oct. 25th and then Amazon Prime Streaming Nov. 1st. Getting to hear all the "oh no she didn'ts and uh, uhs" during the showing made it quite clear that "Karen" was exactly who I wanted to portray her as...I am quite proud of releasing her into my art portfolio all with the graciousness of the Bawn men (Anthony and Brentley) seeing my art again and I truly can't wait for you to get a load of me, especially if you know me. I'm loving being a part of a smaller movement of work trying to push up against the "system" to create diversity, dive into story telling and make art happen for those usually not considered. Understand that you have a place in this world, you've just gotta open your eyes to the other voices shouting to get your attention. Yes, this business is difficult and built against you, but find your space and push your dream forward by being well prepared/ready to go whenever the opportunity arises...now is your time, take it! DON'T EVER STOP and have fun along the way!!!