The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 37, 38 & 39 ( Audition 43, 44 & 45 )
Hey now, heeeeyyyyy nooooowwwww, the dream is coming.... During the madness and mayhem of closing this 3 person, 57 page, 100 minutes of dialogue/props/character changes I got another audition for a short film from someone I kinda knew over Facebook and although I was busy, I'm always up to a challenge of an audition. When it rains, it pours...this is why preparation meets opportunity at it's finest. Take those classes, focus on your work, pay attention to the details and develop art whenever you can...this will keep you one step ahead of those who are out here winging it. Chances happen and it's your focus on your art that will always give you the edge when a gem lands into your lap...learning to compartmentalize scripts, auditions, sides etc all comes from having to deal with classes and getting scenes up while auditions are happening and during your booking. It doesn't stop because you booked something, actually it's the work begets work phase you'll end up dealing with sooner than you expect. So, here I am, keeping focus of all my words needed for the play, this audition came up exactly the same week I decided I'd also audition for the Actor's Studio once again...it's that time of year. So with only a couple of days, a few scenes given and now another scene to look over in the midst of the play, overwhelmed I felt when I started but I've been trained for this. This chaos is what I tend to lean in to because I've been wanting this for so long, I've had my head into the preparation and now it's coming and I won't allow FEAR to rear it's ugly head. I allow it to dapple, because it gets me focused but I do not allow it to control anything, I allow it to feed into my work because I know a sprinkle of fear is where my art blossoms and I like to tackle that head on. I splattered my layer of make-up with nothing on but base upon base and hit the 710 freeway only for it to be the worse I had seen it since booking the play at ICT. Argh....this is putting me behind so I'll be scrambling for din-din after so it was pure stress knowing I was going to be late which always unnerves me. Of course I left a message and of course it's running at 30 minutes late but I get there and Kathy is absolutely kind about the situation and has even ordered some food because she knew I was in the midst of trying to get to the show. I read for 2 parts but mostly one and viola, before I left, I knew I had the role of Annette in "Nightmare" and a full belly for the show! A thriller that I'll be working on for a few days but of course with rehearsal the night of my Closing show - HA!!! When it rains...it POURS, so be ready. BOOKED and thankful. 2 days down both with ah-mazing views and now with one more to go and I'm glad I pushed myself thin to play another character...
Then came the commercial audition...I should've left but after getting up from the show the night before, only to have to drive all the way out to Santa Monica and arrive to a cattle call, I was going to be stubborn. Especially not getting none to hardly any for the majority of my career and finally being called into a casting office I use to go to often enough years back. I walked in to sign in but they were ushering everyone in to watch some of the other actors who happened to get it right because of course, when given directions, some of us creative beings take it upon ourselves to do what we'd rather do regardless. After this explanation and show, I went back out only to be now 5th down in line to sign in...so, here goes the wait...and wait...and wait...with periodic updates on we'll be reading from the sides now given, no we won't, we've got new things to do maybe and etc, etc, etc. I should've left...I did not...instincts usually will lead you right but honestly, my stubbornness of just having to get there was what made me endure the madness. When I finally get in, they don't have enough of the other types so I spent that time trying to memorize one part but got stuck reading for a dude's part instead - TOTAL WASTE OF MY TIME by all means but I got to see the old casting director for a moment before he had to split. HA! This is the nature of the business and there's not much you can do...I should've prepped to leave from there to go straight to the play but I had no idea it was going to turn out like this. So now I'm racing home to put everything I can together, relax for a moment and hit the road again to Long Beach annoyed at the fact that I got up in the morning for that mess of an audition. I don't know what I'll do the next time but if I'm not doing anything else for the day, I may just take myself out to lunch because that would've been a much better use of my creative flow. Value yourselves my arties...it's okay to walk away sometimes and if you don't, you do learn some things along the way...like maybe next time, you may have to walk away!
Last audition up and of course I had gotten the notification for the self tape to be in within 5 days so since the Thurs. - Sun. run had begun, I told myself I may tape Monday evening or Tuesday morning. Didn't look at it again since Sunday morning was the Actor's Studio Audition - my 2nd time, the same Sunday we closed but then I raced to rehearse the scenes for the short film and then booked it across town to hug my fellow cast mates who's mom took time to make us all a home cooked meal. Slept a few hours and had to be up at 3:30a to be on the road by 4:30a to Long Beach for the first shots of the morning. Got off and raced home to feeling exhausted, so make up came off and I took a good ole fashioned siesta only to wake up, look at the casting again and noticed the self tape was to be in by Tuesday morning, not evening at 8a. So it was basically Monday evening or nothing...after the week I had, I contemplated not doing it...I WOULD HAVE TO REAPPLY MAKEUP AGAIN and no one's got time for dat!!! My beast just looked at me and said, we've got everything to do it so let's do it...urghhhhhhhhhhhh. Begrudgingly I redid my make up and dressed up and looked over the 2 short lines given as a reporter. I figured, what the hell, I don't book these anyways, so I'm going to have fun with this since I had a process to get this together. I added a couple of lines to intro the 2 lines given and looked straight into the camera for 2 more improv'd lines I decided to end with as a reporter - so there! Got it in and went about the rest of my evening in a daze, waiting to just sleep. Woke up to get back into my work out routine of Step Zumba and while leaving got a notification on my c-mail account for acting. Thought it was another audition only to find out the casting director left me a message about being BOOKED there...no way...no way...no way!!!! First self submission booking for a film that's doing pick ups and now I get a reporter role to add to my collection of work - yippeee ki yay!!!!
So through all of these auditions, play closing, bookings, I decided to try once again for admission into the Actor's Studio. Decided to do a scene from the "Talented Tenth" with my cast mate Angela and we would rehearse before warming up for the shows each evening whenever we could. I'll keep auditioning until I'm accepted...I've made up my mind to do that...rejection is part of the business and I already know what I bring...one day, they'll know it too. Once again, I wasn't accepted but it was a blast just trying to do it all! There's next year and you know what they say...3rd times a charm - ha, ha, ha!!!
Although sad to see it go, my heart soars to think I was a part of the production at ICT ( International City Theatre, Long Beach ) of "Home." For 3 weeks we rehearsed and I questioned my gifts as an artist and for 3 weeks we poured our hearts out onto that stage in front of 100 - 300 people. I've never sang to that capacity in front of anyone, I've never developed distinct, unique characteristics of 10+ characters to flow from one scene to the next, I've never been a part of a 3 cast ensemble on stage for 100 minutes with no breaks and I've never pushed my creative juices as I have had to do to feel proud about what I accomplished on this run. I thought I couldn't do it...my art, my family, my friends, the casting and the director all told me I could...I decided to believe in them and in my work and boy did it all pay off!!! This is one of the hardest plays I've ever had to tackle and thank God, I was pushed in the right direction because as I read the reviews now, I truly understand the beautiful work I was a part of and get it is my duty to be a part of these challenges that look to explore everything. I can't wait for the many more challenges of feeling undeserving and not ready - this is the stuff that makes ART!!! GO MAKE ART!!! My soul humbly bows to this experience, I deserved this...you deserve this, don't ever forget that.
I'm also involved in an upcoming film next year called "Two Nations" about slaves and Indians intermixing because of the plight. We shot the teaser trailer during my run as well and again, this is what dreams are made of. Loving having the opportunity to be a part of such wonderful projects just trying to have a voice...as we all are. So work when you can, because when you can't, you don't have to feel guilty about it. YAY to seeing some light finally at the end of the tunnel and loving the journey along the way...keep at it my arties, don't you dare stop, we in this together!
In the midst of chaos...find your peace! I wish I could tell you that you'll always have time to prepare but more often than not, life happens and the worse feeling is that of being unprepared but if you make these auditions a practice segment into your work, you'll learn your own techniques (because of training) to make do with what you've got. When it rains, it pours and as an artist, these can be overwhelming times, so place them in order and get to work however you can - it gets easier. During the closing of "Home," everything seemed to be filled with hecticness and I learned I was up to the challenge but I allowed myself the space to breathe whenever possible to refresh my being. That meant taking naps when I could, eating really well to combat fatigue, sickness and making sure I kept up with my oil pulling and morning tea concoction for my health. Let's not get so busy, we forget to take care of ourselves because the body will break down with this kind of stress so it's up to you to make sure you're in optimal health to combat everything coming at you at the right/wrong times. I was asked to send another self submission tape to a wonderful director I've already had the pleasure of working for in the past for a thriller/horror type film and although it was during the time of shooting a teaser, 2 shorts and another booking, even with 2 days to get 2 characters down, I took my time to memorize and flesh out each one. Not as in depth as I'd like to go since I was running like mad at this time, but like I said, figure out what you want to say with each character and go play/discover because it's not about what they want, it's about how you see yourself in them that'll help you navigate the world of auditions. Sent the tape off and heard a few days later that they went in a different direction...that happens and again, you do what you can, you let it go. No need to bug the director you've worked with and ask who, what, why etc. YOU got the audition randomly because they remembered your work - THAT IS ENOUGH!!! We get so worried about the booking but let's focus on the fun in the audition and more will come and more will be booked. One day you'll be the direction they want to go in and someone else will be getting that email, so keep putting in your art and watch the shift in your creative self because it will be yours when it's yours! I just sent a note thanking him for just thinking about me for the role and how much fun it was just to audition - the end and on to the next =). Let's celebrate...with whiskey for me on this one...because even when exhausted, you still do what needs to be done!!!
Got to shoot "Running From My Roots" on the Cinemills Stages and meet the wonderful casting director Gabrielle Evans who actually ended up directing the pick up shots. She knew each of us by name and had written our lines as well, so she decided we'd all get character names instead of Reporter 1/2/3/4/5 - how much goodness is that. I even had to improv lines during the segment prepping up to the scene of our scene and was able to use a real person I had met during the red carpet of "Trouble Creek" as my inspiration. Study life, study humans and study yourself and when moments are asked of you to jump in...YOU JUMP!!! The lead was an American Idol contestant named Janelle Arthur who was just as sweet and took pictures with us all and that's how a set is ran. People appreciating all the people, respecting each other for whatever job we must do to create magic and working our tails off to see a vision come to fruition. I even met a cast member from "Hello My Name is Doris" who played the priest - Edmund Lupinski and although we hadn't worked on set together or met during a couple of events, we recognized each other from the movie, him first! One incident happened however with a girl leaving set to go to her "audition" then changed to "callback." We all thought it was going to be a couple of hours but it went on for longer...the girl waited and waited and then decided she was going to ask to go but by that time we were on the scene before ours. She did speak to one of the producers and got the go ahead but now it's a bit late and towards traffic time. We were called in for a rehearsal of course when she wasn't back and it became noticeable. Lucky for the situation, we had a 30 minute lunch after which gave her some more time but it didn't look good for the set. I understand you have to make a decision when it comes to these things, but make them fast...I may be one of these people to try and pull it off but I'd also try to do it first thing in the morning/early afternoon and be late, or come see the set and figure out whether it's worth the leave. Understand you have lines in a film and are booked with pay - I don't think I'd risk it on a shoot day, to leave a film you've got work on no matter how you might feel, to audition/callback for something else, of course it's a go for me if I'm a stand-in or something else they may not need but if I've got lines as a supporting character, I'm set to shoot - period. Treat each set as if you're working with nothing but names because each set should be looked at professionally as such in your eyes...would you do this on a Cohen Brothers set? Spielberg's...if it's a definite no, then that's your real answer. There are times and places to do those things, it's already stressful enough as it is, believe me, I've done them but try to make a choice that is in your best interest of being professional. The cards fall from there because again, I've tried the whole arrive early to an audition, only to leave late because casting started late and it's not fun...we want to think we're missing out on something, it's okay to walk away - I'm truly understanding that now. Don't go through the stress if you don't have to - let shoot days be celebrational!!!
Are you still eating well ( simple dishes like buffalo cauliflower and shishito peppers are a go to. ) Trying to cleanse your body at least here and there for a day or two or more? I always hear how hard it is to not eat for day but as I watch my dad suffer through amyloidysis and he hasn't eaten really for months, is a day really that bad? Thank goodness my dad is still in good spirits while dealing with this debilitating blood disease ( i.e. the picture to the left with his sarcastic smile because I told him to smile ) and although his taste buds are gone, we're trying to get the better stuff into his system via feeding tubes ( i.e. mixing organic, raw meal vegan protein with organic coconut milk/other organic juices that he use to hate the taste of years ago and today) to see if changes aren't too late. Things are happening with our blood and internal organs we have no idea about and if we're not at least conscious of that fact, we may have to deal with it when it's too late and with no choice. This is where preventative care happens, this is where you decide that mind is over matter and your body deserves to get it's best care beforehand. Of course we may still have problems but some we may have prevented as well, just by doing what we can. We like to play roulette with our health and "hope" that we're not the ones and celebrate those that weren't but there are too many dealing with issues around us now that we can't just roll the dice anymore. I'm not saying you've got to bypass your favorite foods, I'm saying in better terms of moderation - conscious choices more often. Simple switches from Heinz ketchup to Trader Joe's Organic or just organic ketchup - WHY? Not because you can taste the difference, you'd/I'd pick Heinz each time in a blind test but have you read the labels? If so then you know...why is there high fructose corn syrup and corn syrup in my ketchup??? Why does my body need that and in my ketchup? This is some of the ridiculousness of our foods that we eat and don't even question...start questioning, don't wait until it's too late, you can help yourselves now with as little as putting better foods into your/our mouths. I've never taken a flu shot, I rarely get even a hint of colds during the times most people get them and when I do, my regimen usually knocks it out of the park within a day. Had a weird thyroid/blood vessel that popped up out of my neck years ago and will need to find old pictures to show the puffiness of the area and through cleanses, eating more vegetarian meals then to vegan meals have made it almost non-existent although you can see some of the black/blue coloring above. I'm so glad even at my worst eating habits, over 15 years ago I was introduced to the Master Cleanser and although tough because I wasn't used to fasting/cleansing even for a day, I got into a habit of doing such at least once a year 3-7 days, sparking my interest in cleaning out a system we rarely talk about until ailments occur. If this burger eating, rib smacking, bacon lover can do it...so can you. I decided my health before ailments would be my walk because I intend to live my dream of becoming a working actress in this business and dammit, no matter how old I get since I started so late, I'm going to be around to see it happen if I've got anything to do with it. I'll be cleansing in about a week or so for at least 10-20 days - join me if you can...even if it's just vegan broth and juices for a day, do it for yourself and think of all the goodness we're doing together for our bodies! CHEERS to life, CHEERS to health and CHEERS to our dreams but most importantly, CHEERS to seeing/appreciating amazing views, even from places like hospital windows...
