Hey now, heeeeyyyyy nooooowwwww, the dream is coming.... During the madness and mayhem of closing this 3 person, 57 page, 100 minutes of dialogue/props/character changes I got another audition for a short film from someone I kinda knew over Facebook and although I was busy, I'm always up to a challenge of an audition. When it rains, it pours...this is why preparation meets opportunity at it's finest. Take those classes, focus on your work, pay attention to the details and develop art whenever you can...this will keep you one step ahead of those who are out here winging it. Chances happen and it's your focus on your art that will always give you the edge when a gem lands into your lap...learning to compartmentalize scripts, auditions, sides etc all comes from having to deal with classes and getting scenes up while auditions are happening and during your booking. It doesn't stop because you booked something, actually it's the work begets work phase you'll end up dealing with sooner than you expect. So, here I am, keeping focus of all my words needed for the play, this audition came up exactly the same week I decided I'd also audition for the Actor's Studio once again...it's that time of year. So with only a couple of days, a few scenes given and now another scene to look over in the midst of the play, overwhelmed I felt when I started but I've been trained for this. This chaos is what I tend to lean in to because I've been wanting this for so long, I've had my head into the preparation and now it's coming and I won't allow FEAR to rear it's ugly head. I allow it to dapple, because it gets me focused but I do not allow it to control anything, I allow it to feed into my work because I know a sprinkle of fear is where my art blossoms and I like to tackle that head on. I splattered my layer of make-up with nothing on but base upon base and hit the 710 freeway only for it to be the worse I had seen it since booking the play at ICT. Argh....this is putting me behind so I'll be scrambling for din-din after so it was pure stress knowing I was going to be late which always unnerves me. Of course I left a message and of course it's running at 30 minutes late but I get there and Kathy is absolutely kind about the situation and has even ordered some food because she knew I was in the midst of trying to get to the show. I read for 2 parts but mostly one and viola, before I left, I knew I had the role of Annette in "Nightmare" and a full belly for the show! A thriller that I'll be working on for a few days but of course with rehearsal the night of my Closing show - HA!!! When it rains...it POURS, so be ready. BOOKED and thankful. 2 days down both with ah-mazing views and now with one more to go and I'm glad I pushed myself thin to play another character...
Then came the commercial audition...I should've left but after getting up from the show the night before, only to have to drive all the way out to Santa Monica and arrive to a cattle call, I was going to be stubborn. Especially not getting none to hardly any for the majority of my career and finally being called into a casting office I use to go to often enough years back. I walked in to sign in but they were ushering everyone in to watch some of the other actors who happened to get it right because of course, when given directions, some of us creative beings take it upon ourselves to do what we'd rather do regardless. After this explanation and show, I went back out only to be now 5th down in line to sign in...so, here goes the wait...and wait...and wait...with periodic updates on we'll be reading from the sides now given, no we won't, we've got new things to do maybe and etc, etc, etc. I should've left...I did not...instincts usually will lead you right but honestly, my stubbornness of just having to get there was what made me endure the madness. When I finally get in, they don't have enough of the other types so I spent that time trying to memorize one part but got stuck reading for a dude's part instead - TOTAL WASTE OF MY TIME by all means but I got to see the old casting director for a moment before he had to split. HA! This is the nature of the business and there's not much you can do...I should've prepped to leave from there to go straight to the play but I had no idea it was going to turn out like this. So now I'm racing home to put everything I can together, relax for a moment and hit the road again to Long Beach annoyed at the fact that I got up in the morning for that mess of an audition. I don't know what I'll do the next time but if I'm not doing anything else for the day, I may just take myself out to lunch because that would've been a much better use of my creative flow. Value yourselves my arties...it's okay to walk away sometimes and if you don't, you do learn some things along the way...like maybe next time, you may have to walk away!
Last audition up and of course I had gotten the notification for the self tape to be in within 5 days so since the Thurs. - Sun. run had begun, I told myself I may tape Monday evening or Tuesday morning. Didn't look at it again since Sunday morning was the Actor's Studio Audition - my 2nd time, the same Sunday we closed but then I raced to rehearse the scenes for the short film and then booked it across town to hug my fellow cast mates who's mom took time to make us all a home cooked meal. Slept a few hours and had to be up at 3:30a to be on the road by 4:30a to Long Beach for the first shots of the morning. Got off and raced home to feeling exhausted, so make up came off and I took a good ole fashioned siesta only to wake up, look at the casting again and noticed the self tape was to be in by Tuesday morning, not evening at 8a. So it was basically Monday evening or nothing...after the week I had, I contemplated not doing it...I WOULD HAVE TO REAPPLY MAKEUP AGAIN and no one's got time for dat!!! My beast just looked at me and said, we've got everything to do it so let's do it...urghhhhhhhhhhhh. Begrudgingly I redid my make up and dressed up and looked over the 2 short lines given as a reporter. I figured, what the hell, I don't book these anyways, so I'm going to have fun with this since I had a process to get this together. I added a couple of lines to intro the 2 lines given and looked straight into the camera for 2 more improv'd lines I decided to end with as a reporter - so there! Got it in and went about the rest of my evening in a daze, waiting to just sleep. Woke up to get back into my work out routine of Step Zumba and while leaving got a notification on my c-mail account for acting. Thought it was another audition only to find out the casting director left me a message about being BOOKED there...no way...no way...no way!!!! First self submission booking for a film that's doing pick ups and now I get a reporter role to add to my collection of work - yippeee ki yay!!!!
So through all of these auditions, play closing, bookings, I decided to try once again for admission into the Actor's Studio. Decided to do a scene from the "Talented Tenth" with my cast mate Angela and we would rehearse before warming up for the shows each evening whenever we could. I'll keep auditioning until I'm accepted...I've made up my mind to do that...rejection is part of the business and I already know what I bring...one day, they'll know it too. Once again, I wasn't accepted but it was a blast just trying to do it all! There's next year and you know what they say...3rd times a charm - ha, ha, ha!!!
Although sad to see it go, my heart soars to think I was a part of the production at ICT ( International City Theatre, Long Beach ) of "Home." For 3 weeks we rehearsed and I questioned my gifts as an artist and for 3 weeks we poured our hearts out onto that stage in front of 100 - 300 people. I've never sang to that capacity in front of anyone, I've never developed distinct, unique characteristics of 10+ characters to flow from one scene to the next, I've never been a part of a 3 cast ensemble on stage for 100 minutes with no breaks and I've never pushed my creative juices as I have had to do to feel proud about what I accomplished on this run. I thought I couldn't do it...my art, my family, my friends, the casting and the director all told me I could...I decided to believe in them and in my work and boy did it all pay off!!! This is one of the hardest plays I've ever had to tackle and thank God, I was pushed in the right direction because as I read the reviews now, I truly understand the beautiful work I was a part of and get it is my duty to be a part of these challenges that look to explore everything. I can't wait for the many more challenges of feeling undeserving and not ready - this is the stuff that makes ART!!! GO MAKE ART!!! My soul humbly bows to this experience, I deserved this...you deserve this, don't ever forget that. 
I'm also involved in an upcoming film next year called "Two Nations" about slaves and Indians intermixing because of the plight. We shot the teaser trailer during my run as well and again, this is what dreams are made of. Loving having the opportunity to be a part of such wonderful projects just trying to have a voice...as we all are. So work when you can, because when you can't, you don't have to feel guilty about it. YAY to seeing some light finally at the end of the tunnel and loving the journey along the way...keep at it my arties, don't you dare stop, we in this together!
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