The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 23 & 24 ( Auditions #27 & #28 )
I awoke to a perfect day planned over 2 weeks ago, from workout to audition to doing a Brand Ambassador job I picked up via a friend ( Terri ) whom I had worked with years ago, hoping to see her and catch up to finding out she was on vacay. That morning I lost a friend...my Buddy boy...my grumpy mcgrumpsters and although he was definitely my beast's dog, we had a very special relationship in which I'd annoy the hell out of him and for some reason he loved it, loved me for it. He passed after being rescued over 7 years later, making him the ripe age of almost 12 years old which is incredible for an English bulldog. I was told to say goodbye to my dog as I was throwing things together for my long day away in which I just stopped and cried...I already missed his clickity-clack claws dragging across the floor first thing in the morning as I would yell at him to make it to the door instead of squatting in between to relieve himself. He looked so peaceful and at ease bringing me some comfort but not much as I was trying to decide whether I should just look like a flake and cancel my whole day on a first time job given to me by a recommendation. With the Humane Society already coming out for a pickup and my beast telling me to go and keep moving for the day, I tried to do just that but already feeling off at the top of the morning. I pulled it together and was late to workout, sporadic tears, got it together to finally make a few confirming calls/texts after getting myself together for the audition with a casting director I've worked with and been called in by several times...only to be a bit late and not really in the head space of the audition. I waited, waited and waited but felt since I was already pushing it for the job, I had to get out of there instead of making it into a big deal. Asked to be seen the following week if possible and without question I was granted that. Late for the first day of work but with an hour leeway, I was able to settle and prep myself for the long day of no food ( was on the cleanse at the time ) and no more Buddy. Lucky the gal running the show was so understanding and just thankful I didn't bail at the last minute although they would've understood...maybe? Glad I didn't risk it but held it together all day by meditating when upstairs every other hour in the skybox, as I stared at the gray wall which I became known for by the end of the 3 day gig. Life happens and life goes on but through it all, I celebrated his memory of always being around to take my pokes and prods as signs of love between us. That's #2 this year...my heart hurts so I keep focused on what inspires me as well as what is important right now...they made my art better and I will continue in creating because it celebrates all that pain, love and beauty they both shared in their way to help me grow. However you cope to celebrate that doesn't hurt/harm you or your work, do that without guilt, whether it's traditional or your way...make it special, as an artist don't let "rules" hinder you from releasing all that is necessary for you to function at your upmost creative being, because that is in turn celebrating all that they gave to you....
I get the email the evening before letting me know the role I was to audition for above, has just been cast and if I could read for a different part. My mind was still reeling from the events of the week and although I felt like it was going to take some work, focus and effort on my part, I just said yes but that I may end up cold reading the new sides. I get around to looking at them briefly before bed and because it was a more emotionally engaging scene, I was able to soak all that I needed up without putting too much pressure on myself. Awoke to getting myself prepped for the day including making sure I had juices to spare for a friend who's been in the hospital for awhile dealing with a rare lung cancer whom I try to visit weekly with as much cleansing drinks as possible. Ran slightly behind with more of life weighing my energy down but I pushed through, let everyone know what I was dealing with and kept it moving forward. Audition went smoothly as I was able to take it to a different place and give 3 solid, different choices having my wonderful casting director send a note letting me know that although they were leaning towards someone else, I made her look good and she appreciated that. I couldn't be more overjoyed because I had put my push into that part and honestly didn't care regardless because I knew what I had accomplished in that room. Get it into your soul, your mind, your spirit that just because you may have worked the hell out of the piece, that you're booked...the best actor doesn't always get the job. If you go in, slay and know that you did your business with casting following up to let you know you did...take a bow, treat yo'self and know that you already know. Eventually it's gonna be all yours and because of all the work, the drive and the push you've put in over all those auditions, half your work will be golden because you already there...enjoy the journey and shine because....
Auditions like these pop up and you get to run with it...usually I'd never get the chance to play homeless because yes, there's a stereotypical look for that as well. This is why on your down time you do what you can do to develop the meaningful characters you wish to play...I do theatre so that I may get stage time and still play parts that I usually wouldn't be seen for. Got to create even more, a small bit with a homeless character with a lisp and drinking fortitude in "HOME" at ICT last year and whaddaya know, it comes back around. I'm sure I'm not the "look," right off hand but I also know this character and that gives me room to play, so let's play. Because of our issues right now, right where we are, I've taken my time to develop my mentally challenged/stroke victim etc character that took over a year of tweaks and then played around with the "crazy" homeless but have progressed into adding the elements of mental instability. This is what years of training in class, on stage, on set will get you but you've gotta push for getting to do this type of work, especially if your look doesn't fall into their idea of what the physical attributes are. Keep playing, don't get scared to fail because in that "failure" you end up creating these well rounded, true, layered characters that will one day see the light of day when given the opportunity. I keep storing 'em up, they all in my back pocket ya'll and one day we'll PLAY ON ARTIES and so don't you ever stop....
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 22 ( Audition #26 )
Got an audition with the same theatre I was an understudy for at the beginning of this year on a production I'm a bit familiar with but never had an opportunity to even really pay attention - sometimes POC aren't invited to certain/most productions so it's always a plus when it happens. "A Portrait of Dorian Gray" which became a challenge in and of itself as I brushed up as much as I could to get different English dialects going for the 2 roles I were to play. I wanted to make them as distinct as possible in voice and mannerisms so I focused on the words later as I let the idea of these characters creep into my mind without looking up who played what and how. Nothing wrong with doing research but for auditions, I rarely focus on that aspect of the work because I don't want my vision to be tainted with another's perception/performance. There's a purity I try and go for because I'm not trained as most in any type of classical productions, I started later and never got a chance to explore in High School/College. Don't let this drive you away but instead run towards it all head on...you may stumble but you may also give a refreshing approach to the piece that may get you the job or at least some well earned respect for bringing in something new on an old outlook. Some like, some don't - that isn't your concern, your only work is to get to the truth of the piece as only your unique self can. Again, you're competing with company members, those who have done their time, those who may have been understudies the last round and so, this is all not your concern, it's the same that goes with guest stars to co-stars in film. Be amazed at the fact that you're called in, you're being seen and you've got a moment to make an impression and that is what you are there for, all the other stuff is just stuff. I've booked and made some fans by just trying to breathe new life into old characters especially for theatre folks that are willing to take that chance on me and risk seeing if my "vision" intertwined with theirs, works. I'm sure some people have chuckled after I've left because they've felt I have no clue but I know I've got good instincts and I trust those instincts to make clear, distinctive ( maybe even off ) choices that I want to share, never be afraid to give your version of the truth. Although I'm sure I was up against people that knew people, I knew they didn't know me and they were going to meet/remember me today. Like I've said, it's a dream of mine to grace most of the bigger/well known stages in the Los Angeles area on my way towards working in film/t.v. and I won't be able to get there if I don't put myself out there to be considered regardless of my experience. So I push and I push and push and I'll keep pushing until...as I push, I fully expect for YOU TO PUSH TOO - hey, we on this journey together!!! I had casting laugh, give me redirection which I took and was even complimented on such, given the opportunity to read the next scene which he even stated he saw the great choices in characters. That is it, I've won in my book...I've made someone else see my version and take notice of it whether it agreed with them or not and for that I celebrate these "wins." It doesn't always show up as a booking folks, sometimes you just get under their skin for long enough so that they remember you for the next. Make fans and keep having them call you in, eventually the bookings happen as your circle of people who get you, start seeing/appreciating your art. This is where truth lives, let it flourish, let it shine, let it be and give them YOU, YOU got this in all your glory!
After 14 days of cleanse prep, I stepped into my full 10 days of juice cleanse with the raw cane superjuice spicy detox and raw cane sugar which is green and the way sugar should be...filled with the goodness of green plants in it's purest form instead of crystallized. I decided to mix the two along with water and came up drinking about 10 cups a day ( will travel well with ice packs and insulated carrier ) on average from beginning to end. Light workouts but sleep definitely done during this time of healing and cleansing. I've been doing this cleanse for over 15+ years and it's my favorite because I don't feel lethargic or sick, nor do I even get headaches if if I keep up with the drinking every time I feel the slight bit of hunger. I also lose inches but not much weight although I checked this time with the number being around 15-17 lbs and I also see my tongue go from this cakey white weirdness to pinky goodness as my skin glows towards happiness. From the salt water flush in the mornings ( which are dreadful and must be done with a couple of hours to spare...at home ) to drinking only this concoction all day while alternating it with my organic corn/barley Korean tea, with some peppermint tea as needed for the breath and ending it with the nightly smooth move/herbal lax tea. Even though I'm pretty good with my eating habits, I've understood the benefits of allowing my system to rest and readjust back to full capacity. Plus it's good of ridding one of calcium deposits that cause arthritis...I'm planning on being around for a bit so I want to function at optimal performance. Over the years I've noticed my allergies taking a back seat ( I use to have them back and developed them only when I moved to Cali ), I haven't developed thyroids/fibroids as of yet although I've gotten close but the mass went down and is almost non-existent year after year I do this, with clean physical screenings so far. I not only credit it to my yearly cleanse I've done for some time, but my daily intake of food in which I still enjoy but only once a week if the craving hits hard. It's the only change in my diet I've made steps toward, along with a dose of good exercise....so with a yearly cleanse of 10-20 days, vegan eating for at least 5 days a week ( past few years ) with one day vegetarian and 1 day of what I'm used to eating I've avoided many health pitfalls so far compared to quite of few friends around my age. I get some of it's genetics, some of it's luck but a lot is my outlook on a more stress free, healthier vision of me so I will try, read, explore whatever may aid my body at keeping itself healthy. Find your path in all this, whatever road you decide to travel, at least explore and understand options, just trusting the status quo hasn't gotten us anywhere except in dealing with all sorts of unexplainable sickness/staying where we're at and I for one won't be sitting idly by when I've got choices to think about in the present. Love yourself, love your body and watch that love energy flow inwards and outwards....
Friday, June 1, 2018
The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 21 ( Audition #25 )
The joys of a commercial audition that you realize was only given because it's one of the casting directors that helped book you on your first project ( The Colony - Season 1 Discovery ) back into this world of art. It was a bit weird miming things since it's one of my pet peeves, especially when it's intricate moves but these come up and you just do the best you can and let it all go. Miming a small space ( that you're comfortable in..., ) grabbing things, saying hi and then go about specific business - different to say the least but I got to see familiar faces including one of the dogs with his mama from a short film shoot last year. Don't let these types of auditions bum you out...take it as a learning experience ( I'm not going to go take miming classes now ) and find your way in an uncomfortable situation. It's a great gift for actors, doing something just off may build your movement for the next or help you get into a better head space when things seem to be falling off kilter. Learn now to use for later, it's how I was able to get through this cooky feel, because I've had others that I decided to take from instead of be distraught about. Find the good and use it, it'll make you a much happier artist in these trying times of getting seen. Also remember, most commercial auditions are about look/energy so focus on that even more and realize sometimes it's a specific type they're going for and there is nothing you can do but walk into the room, smile and leave in confidence regardless of callback or no callback. I'm still here...working towards another day that'll get me closer to my dreams and I hope you'll join me by leaning towards all the goodness instead of the negative so that we may arrive at our destination with pure love/joy for our craft! I mean, who doesn't like looking at random sculpture pieces going down hallways and in buildings you least expect, find the art in every thing and watch your art grow to beyond...
Even got to do some shooting with a friend I've shot with before because he just keeps on creating! Met Rodrigo Brand doing "Twelfth Night" and although I wasn't the hang out person, kept to myself but chatted here and there, he reached out to me for a comedy short he wanted to do. I said yes immediately and let's make it happen without the thought of is that enough money. He's someone I knew and wanted to help out, plus I'd be getting stuff for my reel as well so why not. Surprisingly enough, he had a couple of run ins with actors that kept stating they wanted to work, do this, do that but when he offered his small budget, low pay out of his pocket, disappearing acts happened. I was a bit shocked...I'd rather work with actors I've watched and at least know their work ethic. Smaller pay for doing something creative but knowing it'll be shot well, on gorgeous sets, with good sound by a fellow artist is always a plus in my book. It's a couple of hours outta my day ( because as actors we all know how precious time is ) ...how could you not just jump in and get more stuff done? Learn to say yes, yes,yes as much as you can when it comes to building your reel, getting more credits, working with friends etc. I get that your work shift may pay you better money as of now but what are you trying to do? Work shifts and wait for the big one or create your path towards building your future just in case the big one doesn't happen to drop in your lap. I've pushed to get out of work early or have even taken the day off because bills will be bills regardless and I know if I can do another project, be another character, get footage, then I'll be on my way to taking that next step towards my future of what I really want to do. I don't grumble, I'm getting paid in a field I want to be a part of and that is an investment for myself - doing something that I love and although it may not be much, in all honesty it's enough if I'm not coming out of my pocket or helping people I know create. The money will come but relationships built need to be built...NOW! Just do it and see how your auditions change as well as your confidence in this art form and becoming the working actor you have wished for. Our little bit of comedy ( below ) for the first shoot we did together...then he was one of my ninjas for a video...and now this commercial shoot that will be coming soon...
Got to get some good art in by taking a drive out to Long Beach for a show at my "theatre home" ( as I call it for being the first major stage I was able to grace and win the 2016 NAACP Best Ensemble Award with our stage manager Pat Loeb also in the house ) written by a South Korean female about different loves, death, beliefs, hatred, fear, living etc. There was shock and unresolved issues left which had me thinking throughout, bringing about so much inspiration...love it when a story surprises me and leaves me with more questions than answers. Watching other actors doing what I want to do consistently always inspires me to no end...wish I had more time for it but I make due whenever possible. Wonderful chat with the artistic director before and after followed by a solo vegan meal of a fiesta bowl at Ahimsa Cafe around the corner to kick start my 2nd week of cleanse prep where I juice all day with only one vegan meal. If you don't think vegan eating can be done, you'll be surprised as to how far vegan food has come, not only visually but in taste as well. It took me some convincing but with the wide array of choices along with my Korean traditional foods ( I love kimchees, I go fermentation crazy whenever I can ) I've made it into a delicious lifestyle because all nachos should taste this good and be good for you! So far, the most tastiest vegan nachos with jackfruit are from SAGE Bistro which are hands down the yummiest for every type of eater to enjoy which I downed with a scoop of superfruit cashew ice cream which reminds me of Rocky Road. Had to take home the Bowl of Soul from Sage because although I wish I could eat more, my mind was already on the meal for tomorrow and this plate does the trick with quinoa, black beans, kale, sweet potato, a polenta bar and a buffalo vegan mac & cheese ball - OH MY and sweet music to my tummy!!!! The vegetarian and potato tacos from Senor Freds were delish curplosions in my belly last week but the "mostess/hostess" vegan cupcake made from scratch at Real Food Daily takes me into my dessert bliss with nachos and boochcraft ( kombocha beer ) to proceed all this goodness. I've already started my full out juice cleanse now and rapidly approaching my 10 days which very well may be enough for me this time around since I included the 2 weeks of prep as well, making it 24 days, which I'll discuss in the next post. Until then, stay the course, do the work and enjoy every bit of art for inspiration, especially food but most of all, take care of yous!!!
I awoke to a perfect day planned over 2 weeks ago, from workout to audition to doing a Brand Ambassador job I picked up via a friend ( Terri ) whom I had worked with years ago, hoping to see her and catch up to finding out she was on vacay. That morning I lost a friend...my Buddy boy...my grumpy mcgrumpsters and although he was definitely my beast's dog, we had a very special relationship in which I'd annoy the hell out of him and for some reason he loved it, loved me for it. He passed after being rescued over 7 years later, making him the ripe age of almost 12 years old which is incredible for an English bulldog. I was told to say goodbye to my dog as I was throwing things together for my long day away in which I just stopped and cried...I already missed his clickity-clack claws dragging across the floor first thing in the morning as I would yell at him to make it to the door instead of squatting in between to relieve himself. He looked so peaceful and at ease bringing me some comfort but not much as I was trying to decide whether I should just look like a flake and cancel my whole day on a first time job given to me by a recommendation. With the Humane Society already coming out for a pickup and my beast telling me to go and keep moving for the day, I tried to do just that but already feeling off at the top of the morning. I pulled it together and was late to workout, sporadic tears, got it together to finally make a few confirming calls/texts after getting myself together for the audition with a casting director I've worked with and been called in by several times...only to be a bit late and not really in the head space of the audition. I waited, waited and waited but felt since I was already pushing it for the job, I had to get out of there instead of making it into a big deal. Asked to be seen the following week if possible and without question I was granted that. Late for the first day of work but with an hour leeway, I was able to settle and prep myself for the long day of no food ( was on the cleanse at the time ) and no more Buddy. Lucky the gal running the show was so understanding and just thankful I didn't bail at the last minute although they would've understood...maybe? Glad I didn't risk it but held it together all day by meditating when upstairs every other hour in the skybox, as I stared at the gray wall which I became known for by the end of the 3 day gig. Life happens and life goes on but through it all, I celebrated his memory of always being around to take my pokes and prods as signs of love between us. That's #2 this year...my heart hurts so I keep focused on what inspires me as well as what is important right now...they made my art better and I will continue in creating because it celebrates all that pain, love and beauty they both shared in their way to help me grow. However you cope to celebrate that doesn't hurt/harm you or your work, do that without guilt, whether it's traditional or your way...make it special, as an artist don't let "rules" hinder you from releasing all that is necessary for you to function at your upmost creative being, because that is in turn celebrating all that they gave to you....
I get the email the evening before letting me know the role I was to audition for above, has just been cast and if I could read for a different part. My mind was still reeling from the events of the week and although I felt like it was going to take some work, focus and effort on my part, I just said yes but that I may end up cold reading the new sides. I get around to looking at them briefly before bed and because it was a more emotionally engaging scene, I was able to soak all that I needed up without putting too much pressure on myself. Awoke to getting myself prepped for the day including making sure I had juices to spare for a friend who's been in the hospital for awhile dealing with a rare lung cancer whom I try to visit weekly with as much cleansing drinks as possible. Ran slightly behind with more of life weighing my energy down but I pushed through, let everyone know what I was dealing with and kept it moving forward. Audition went smoothly as I was able to take it to a different place and give 3 solid, different choices having my wonderful casting director send a note letting me know that although they were leaning towards someone else, I made her look good and she appreciated that. I couldn't be more overjoyed because I had put my push into that part and honestly didn't care regardless because I knew what I had accomplished in that room. Get it into your soul, your mind, your spirit that just because you may have worked the hell out of the piece, that you're booked...the best actor doesn't always get the job. If you go in, slay and know that you did your business with casting following up to let you know you did...take a bow, treat yo'self and know that you already know. Eventually it's gonna be all yours and because of all the work, the drive and the push you've put in over all those auditions, half your work will be golden because you already there...enjoy the journey and shine because....
Auditions like these pop up and you get to run with it...usually I'd never get the chance to play homeless because yes, there's a stereotypical look for that as well. This is why on your down time you do what you can do to develop the meaningful characters you wish to play...I do theatre so that I may get stage time and still play parts that I usually wouldn't be seen for. Got to create even more, a small bit with a homeless character with a lisp and drinking fortitude in "HOME" at ICT last year and whaddaya know, it comes back around. I'm sure I'm not the "look," right off hand but I also know this character and that gives me room to play, so let's play. Because of our issues right now, right where we are, I've taken my time to develop my mentally challenged/stroke victim etc character that took over a year of tweaks and then played around with the "crazy" homeless but have progressed into adding the elements of mental instability. This is what years of training in class, on stage, on set will get you but you've gotta push for getting to do this type of work, especially if your look doesn't fall into their idea of what the physical attributes are. Keep playing, don't get scared to fail because in that "failure" you end up creating these well rounded, true, layered characters that will one day see the light of day when given the opportunity. I keep storing 'em up, they all in my back pocket ya'll and one day we'll PLAY ON ARTIES and so don't you ever stop.... 
