The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 45 & 46 ( Audition #51, #52, #53 & #54 )
"Put all dat drama into your work arties!!!" I can rage so much right now...the frustration and utter confusion I have about the world as I live in it, has got my head, heart and spirit unsettled. So I take all of it...EVERY LAST DROP OF IT and pour it into my work whenever the opportunity hits. Don't let what is going on outside your control to throw you out of balance with your truth, reign in what you can control and do and give and push it out in your expression. That's art, don't deprive your work from utilizing every aspect of your situations because that is where your uniqueness lies...the beauty of that pain that you carry. It's difficult to share, but harnessing that energy into your work is the difference between you and others. I've had to learn to tread lightly amongst my dark, not to get too sucked into the hurt of it all but to understand that my depth was different from what others may give and that became my strength. Yes, it's too much for some but those aren't the ones I'm trying to reach, I'm here to put in real work and get the ones that can dial it back or push it all out when needed...these are the projects I'm truly interested in. Usually this doesn't go for someone like me, however, it is my dream and goal that I and others like me will be viewed as such soon enough, therefore I push and I push so hard that it hurts to breathe, it hurts to speak and it hurts to feel but it is in that vulnerability I can cast my art before others in hopes to move them as they try to understand my work. Don't shy away from your pain but truly be in a safe place learning to mold and give without hurting anyone including yourself. This is the good stuff, this is where your power could lie and where your confidence may grow as a truth seeker in which it is your responsibility to explore. Unleashing this at random times on set without you being in full control may lead you down a dark rabbit hole, so practice, work, practice, explore, practice, knead, practice and push and you'll learn more about yourself as an artist and when/how to give 25%, to 50%, up to 75%, when 100% is necessary and then all out when called for. Find those triggers, find what you do to calm those triggers and explore how to come out of that space safely surrounded by love but this isn't possible without your gentle care into it all. 2 very different dramatic scenes needed with different timing of pain/strength/tears and trying to find those moments was my beautiful challenge for the day. All this while pushing out 2 voice over auditions before with 2 more after to make it all interesting. Literally 6 auditions within a few hours ( I gave my count for my vo's 1 & 1 since they were bulked together ) from one end of the spectrum of happiness to the other side of hurt/anger, one for a collaborative project with a monologue requested and one for a short film. I welcome these days to figure it all out and give each one it's own space...it's my practice now for my future employments of work when I can race from one gig to the next! My favorite times are getting to share these moments and usually I'm going between 25%-50% because I honestly know it's difficult for most to digest and how some may react. That's good...grab these auditions by the kohones and push yourself out of your comfort zone because after all...they're just auditions at the end of the day but it's your time to explore/play! Who knows, you may just very well end up booking the job because of the "extra" you decided to give yourself permission to try...regardless, it's work practiced and this monologue challenges me every time to find something new! Keep finding that challenge, keep finding a way to be moved and you will find some truth!!!
Are you still finding reasons to celebrate or at least make whatever you're going to do or doing into some type of celebration? I can't stress how important this is for you, your psyche and your art...how do you expect it to keep on giving on such a high level? If your body gets worn down from lack of sleep and bad foods, isn't it possible for your inspirational well to dry up? I truly believe that when you then wait too long to "filler back up," is when you become less motivated, more bitter and close to sliding into the danger zone of releasing your dreams. I can't afford all the shows/art I'd love to go to/buy, the gas alone to get around plus money for whatever besides regular days of life is a tremendous burden on my wallet, however, I've learned to combine. If I get something to celebrate and want to do so with food at Sage let's say...I wait until Mon/Tues when they've got happy hour all day long or save a celebration to hit up a new vegan joint after a meeting when I'm out and about and literally have a lunch that I can split into 2 meals. I also practice buying at least one "special" item like the vegan toona or the almond milk ricotta & mushroom ravioli by Kite Hill at the grocery store that I may not usually purchase because of the price, that I store and save to give to myself on a day I know I should regardless of how I may feel about an audition/meeting. I have a couple of different whiskies ( even brought back a Herman Marshall Texas Rye ) that I love to drink but will only drink some of that special one on a really good day! Sometimes it's giving myself extra time to stretch and sit in the steam/sauna room after a double workout and not rush a damn thing because it feels great not to think about stuff for a bit. Even in my most extravagant, I'll still wait for the double sale online for any Free People clothing I've been gawking at or hit up the clearance runway rack at TJ Maxx for that one piece I found to wear to an event that's worth $300-$500 but has been marked down to $25-$75, more within my "special occasion" budget. It's weird at first, but once you decide to reward what you give of yourself, you begin to appreciate every little thing which brings about real sentimental value. Those shoes mean more because you gifted yourself after a major audition which you may or may not have booked, but when you wear them now, there's a certain sense of pride and confidence only you carry into the room when you sport them. Learn to celebrate you, not for show but to genuinely show yourself that you care about you as well...rewarding oneself will have you loving yourself and loving yourself will give shine to your art that no one can quite place. Be good to you, it's a requirement if you want to make it in this business grounded, focused and ready! Bloom here, bloom now - JUST BLOOM!!!
"Put all dat drama into your work arties!!!" I can rage so much right now...the frustration and utter confusion I have about the world as I live in it, has got my head, heart and spirit unsettled. So I take all of it...EVERY LAST DROP OF IT and pour it into my work whenever the opportunity hits. Don't let what is going on outside your control to throw you out of balance with your truth, reign in what you can control and do and give and push it out in your expression. That's art, don't deprive your work from utilizing every aspect of your situations because that is where your uniqueness lies...the beauty of that pain that you carry. It's difficult to share, but harnessing that energy into your work is the difference between you and others. I've had to learn to tread lightly amongst my dark, not to get too sucked into the hurt of it all but to understand that my depth was different from what others may give and that became my strength. Yes, it's too much for some but those aren't the ones I'm trying to reach, I'm here to put in real work and get the ones that can dial it back or push it all out when needed...these are the projects I'm truly interested in. Usually this doesn't go for someone like me, however, it is my dream and goal that I and others like me will be viewed as such soon enough, therefore I push and I push so hard that it hurts to breathe, it hurts to speak and it hurts to feel but it is in that vulnerability I can cast my art before others in hopes to move them as they try to understand my work. Don't shy away from your pain but truly be in a safe place learning to mold and give without hurting anyone including yourself. This is the good stuff, this is where your power could lie and where your confidence may grow as a truth seeker in which it is your responsibility to explore. Unleashing this at random times on set without you being in full control may lead you down a dark rabbit hole, so practice, work, practice, explore, practice, knead, practice and push and you'll learn more about yourself as an artist and when/how to give 25%, to 50%, up to 75%, when 100% is necessary and then all out when called for. Find those triggers, find what you do to calm those triggers and explore how to come out of that space safely surrounded by love but this isn't possible without your gentle care into it all. 2 very different dramatic scenes needed with different timing of pain/strength/tears and trying to find those moments was my beautiful challenge for the day. All this while pushing out 2 voice over auditions before with 2 more after to make it all interesting. Literally 6 auditions within a few hours ( I gave my count for my vo's 1 & 1 since they were bulked together ) from one end of the spectrum of happiness to the other side of hurt/anger, one for a collaborative project with a monologue requested and one for a short film. I welcome these days to figure it all out and give each one it's own space...it's my practice now for my future employments of work when I can race from one gig to the next! My favorite times are getting to share these moments and usually I'm going between 25%-50% because I honestly know it's difficult for most to digest and how some may react. That's good...grab these auditions by the kohones and push yourself out of your comfort zone because after all...they're just auditions at the end of the day but it's your time to explore/play! Who knows, you may just very well end up booking the job because of the "extra" you decided to give yourself permission to try...regardless, it's work practiced and this monologue challenges me every time to find something new! Keep finding that challenge, keep finding a way to be moved and you will find some truth!!!
Are you still finding reasons to celebrate or at least make whatever you're going to do or doing into some type of celebration? I can't stress how important this is for you, your psyche and your art...how do you expect it to keep on giving on such a high level? If your body gets worn down from lack of sleep and bad foods, isn't it possible for your inspirational well to dry up? I truly believe that when you then wait too long to "filler back up," is when you become less motivated, more bitter and close to sliding into the danger zone of releasing your dreams. I can't afford all the shows/art I'd love to go to/buy, the gas alone to get around plus money for whatever besides regular days of life is a tremendous burden on my wallet, however, I've learned to combine. If I get something to celebrate and want to do so with food at Sage let's say...I wait until Mon/Tues when they've got happy hour all day long or save a celebration to hit up a new vegan joint after a meeting when I'm out and about and literally have a lunch that I can split into 2 meals. I also practice buying at least one "special" item like the vegan toona or the almond milk ricotta & mushroom ravioli by Kite Hill at the grocery store that I may not usually purchase because of the price, that I store and save to give to myself on a day I know I should regardless of how I may feel about an audition/meeting. I have a couple of different whiskies ( even brought back a Herman Marshall Texas Rye ) that I love to drink but will only drink some of that special one on a really good day! Sometimes it's giving myself extra time to stretch and sit in the steam/sauna room after a double workout and not rush a damn thing because it feels great not to think about stuff for a bit. Even in my most extravagant, I'll still wait for the double sale online for any Free People clothing I've been gawking at or hit up the clearance runway rack at TJ Maxx for that one piece I found to wear to an event that's worth $300-$500 but has been marked down to $25-$75, more within my "special occasion" budget. It's weird at first, but once you decide to reward what you give of yourself, you begin to appreciate every little thing which brings about real sentimental value. Those shoes mean more because you gifted yourself after a major audition which you may or may not have booked, but when you wear them now, there's a certain sense of pride and confidence only you carry into the room when you sport them. Learn to celebrate you, not for show but to genuinely show yourself that you care about you as well...rewarding oneself will have you loving yourself and loving yourself will give shine to your art that no one can quite place. Be good to you, it's a requirement if you want to make it in this business grounded, focused and ready! Bloom here, bloom now - JUST BLOOM!!!
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