The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 26

If it's one thing I can't stand about the business, it's headshots! Urgh!!!! I feel utterly fake and phoney taking them, to capture a look while steadily gazing into a camera and holding on to it until who knows until you get the shot only to not like the crinkle on your forehead or your tense jaw because inside you're screaming to be saved, is hard work. However, this is one of the first tools you must have in order to work in this business and getting the right one takes so much money, time and effort. It takes me a couple of years to gear up for a photo shoot because there is more than just jumping in front of a camera, smiling and calling it a day.

You may be able to get away with it at first but as you begin to want certain particular roles or be seen in a certain way, you start realizing your shots must convey that because most people won't use their imagination to see you in a different way unless it's put on something concrete for them to see. If you have big, curly hair - they just can't imagine it straightened out and pulled back, if you're all smiles - they can't see you as a dark, character killer, if you're all goth - they can't see you all cleaned up and smiling big on a sitcom...it's absolutely nuts the lack of vision this industry can have. It's funny because we all know with the right wardrobe and hair fixed etc., we can be almost anyone we choose to be...we just don't have the team of make-up artists and hairstylists every time we go in for an audition. This is where the need for "looks" per say come in handy...trust me, I can't stand this part of the process but it is a necessary evil and I want my role opportunities to expand. So here you are in a rock and a hard place as you discover this world of imagination isn't all imagination, so you must guide, you must show your facets of different personalities in order for them to see it because they just don't get it with one shot of you looking like you, especially if your look doesn't fit into a box.
                                         





It's taken me quite some time to fill what I feel are the requirements to make my manager/agents job easier but build towards it. Each photo shoot should include another "character type" look to help your process along, this will help get you into more doors without feeling like you're selling your soul. Make sure you get great headshots and that way, you can focus on other shots when needed. Start off with a strong theatrical and commercial shot that is you, through and through, then move onto what characters on shows that you see yourself on, look like. Get the basic feel, no need to have a stethoscope around your neck if you don't have one, a nurse top will do etc. but if you don't look like you can be on a medical show and that's what you want to do, then make them see it and believe it. We're actors...we will embody the character with work but you've got to get that shot first so just do it within your boundaries and let the casting fun begin.

My agent/manager always has a recommendation for photographers but there's one in the family that I trust, so I don't veer off. I know my beast's work and he comes well referred by those who know him so I know it's just a personal preference for my team to shoot. I just ask for reference photos or ideas before I shoot and I chat it over with my vision team (aka Mike Quain/the photographer/beast - www.quainphoto.com), he never disappoints. It's so important you go with someone that will get you the quality shot you need but have a game plan as well to make it easier on the looks you want to achieve for the shoot. So understand you have a choice on who to shoot with, how you want to shoot and what looks you'd like to grab, then go get your "looks" on! These are my new 2015 looks, my manager loves them, my agent is looking but with so many choices...it won't be a problem.  I tried to cover the basic look, the college professor, the rookie cop, military/tougher look, crazy friend/neighbor and a regal/queenlike persona. First time getting this extensive but with the past auditions of this year, I've had to beef it up finally...no more just trying to get by, these characters I work on in my study so now I want them on my reel! This is a shot (to the left) I took awhile ago with quianphoto and it still works for me, so understand the importance of having a basic shot that is you and if done right can last for some time!

2 home auditions to count, one on my camera phone (to the right) & one done on a nice camera (to the left) and what great fun it is to do these from home regardless of your home camera shooting arrangement.. Remember, you can always ask to self tape/eco-cast submit a video to a project that may fit you...I just started doing this and my auditions have definitely increased. Just sent one off to Mississippi and another off to NY, even if it's difficult because of them wanting local hires, don't just not do it because...AUDITION, let them decide and then you may be on your way shooting a fun role in another state that ends up paying for your time there. Why not...what do you have to lose??? You owe it to yourself to give your artistry every opportunity to work, you've made the commitment to do this, so make sure you're doing everything to give your art a shot! Consider it practice before you get all big time and are able to fly in to wherever you need to be to convince them in person - ;)

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 25

Is it day 25 already?!?! Another commercial audition for the year...that's 2 this year and it's a miracle! I never put anything on these auditions...you never know what they are looking for. I rarely get called in so I go to have fun and be in front of a camera again. It's for Ross and I'm one of a couple minorities in. Who cares that this is the process, getting a commercial can be like winning the lotto so go, with a great attitude of you getting to audition today and understand what the odds are and have a blast. Most of the time, this has everything to do with what the corporation thinks will sell and that includes you as a whole - demographics are at work here so enjoy this process for what it is and maybe one day it'll be your turn. Some people seem to be built for this commercial world...looks, build etc, which is great but don't you feel less than because you may not fit in because if there is a you in this world, then someone out there identifies with you so keep at it. Plug away until it happens. I enjoy the whole show of commercial auditions that I now just laugh through it because for me, it seems I've a slim to nothing chance but I get to audition. I get the opportunity to practice my work on a day that I may not get another audition so this keeps me primed for the room, the nerves and the energy. Take as many auditions as you can, when you can, every time you can whether you'll be able to do it or want to do it...unless it's really terrible then don't waste your time but even then...it may be fun so be open! Practice, practice, practice makes for different artistry to be pushed by you so if commercial auditions ain't yo thang - it only takes one to make it your thang so have fun, know what it is and leave it there.

Boy, oh boy does this process stay hard but you as an artist in this business must be tougher. Tougher than the present situation, you must be in it for the long ride because we all have terrible auditions, frightening call backs and blown screen tests. It's gonna happen if it hasn't and as artists you must give yourself some cushion here...we try new things, the way we rehearse it isn't what came out in the room, we fumble and didn't recover...we get lost. It's okay, it's better than okay because the first works of art can't be perfect. I must admit, auditions are difficult on me, it's when I want to play and explore and I've noticed that once I get a call back, I can usually lock down the character but it's at the shoot that I can sink in but you've got to get there in order to finish your masterpiece. Understand you will be brilliant at the shoot, you've worked for it but it's in the audition that the magic happens for casting/director/writer and there fore you must trust yourself because you're the only one in the room that must. You must believe that you not only deserve the opportunity but that you will be even better at the shoot, it's not ego - it's a fact. Knowing that you're more than capable will give you a different power/confidence in the room and walking out with that will allow your artistry to flourish instead of being beat up with the woulda, shoulda, couldas in the car.

Worst audition memory - years ago I was with a really, good boutique agency that I worked from being just in their Commercial Dept. to their Theatrical by booking a show as a co-star without anyone. One of the agents called on Friday for an audition on Monday which I missed, I called back within the hour and got no response. Hmmmmmm, Friday afternoon and nothing...an hour goes by and so I try again...nothing...I'm getting stressed because I've got no idea what the audition is for, time, sides etc. It's early evening and I try again and still nothing. All weekend with the idea of not knowing is stressful and beyond. Finally Monday morning I get a call back stating the agents had left the office early but a well known, black cd wants to see me in a couple of hours, they're not sure what the part is for, I'll know when I get there. (WHAT?!?!) They did mention my French listing on the resume, which I can read very well but would've loved the weekend to brush up on since I have no one to practice with. I get in, no sides...hmmmm. I get into the room and it's improv - I'm so thrown I am speechless. I don't speak French fluently but would've been prepared conversationally had I known to work on it over the weekend. I couldn't remember a "J'aime appelle Leilani" to save my life, nor anything else - I FROZE. I could see the look of utter disappointment on his face and although if they gave me a line (which they did) I could repeat it back with perfect French nuisance, I just was at a blank. I left defeated, shocked and angry. My first time meeting this well to do Casting and I blew it. I knew I'd never get called in again to that office which sucked because I knew I was a decent enough actress at the time to do the shows he normally cast. I was pretty young to the business and didn't want to cause any waves at my agency so I didn't call them to truly express what I had felt I went through and that they had dropped the ball as well as me looking like the idiot to someone casting a lot of shows at the time. I thought I was done and I believed he probably told the story to every other close Casting Director he knew. I felt poisoned at the time...I took French off my resume and even stopped practicing it since it's so rare that it's looked for in black women in film. I left my agency shortly after as well to finish off this downward spiral of feeling unworthy and being caught unprepared, this was part of the reason I quit. One bad audition...HA! Out of all of them that worked, but because I wasn't booking and this terrible audition happened, I allowed myself to feel that I wasn't the actress I knew I could be and no one told me otherwise.

You must champion yourself, then others will root for you but you must be your own biggest, loudest cheerleader first. You must know that you know...when I got back in, I believed I was better for it. I come in prepared, I make sure I know as much about the audition as I possibly can, even if it seems I'm annoying and I blow that room out every time I can step in one! I know I can be off sometimes but I get back on and push - I also realize that if the room can't see it, they don't deserve me and they don't deserve you if they can't see it. So, on to the next. There are way to many projects and experiences for you to fall into a pit over any auditions that may go awry...it happens. Are you an artist or aren't you? Do you feel alive when you get to express a character in your way? Then go do it, go do that and don't let bad auditions, people that can't see your worth or bookings in the present stop you because your time is coming. Just be prepared as much as possible and fly as soon as you get the chance, that's what happens when you work your work, study and push boundaries...no one can tell you a thing, you just keep creating magic!

Go put on your favorite fun outfit...not for anyone but you and go run errands, it'll make you feel like a different person. Make you feel good for all that you do and try, it doesn't have to cost anything except effort on your part to reward yourself for putting it out there, doing what most people shrink at and taking it all in with fortitude to push forward but you must give to yourself as well. I know it's hard out there, so do something for yourself that puts a smile on your face...even if it's just fun clothes that makes you happy or a cup of really good ice cream from home, your soul will thank you and you deserve it you artist you!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 24


When in doubt, do good theatre...yes, even in L.A./surrounding areas! When I first started out years ago, one of my first instructors was Bennet Guillory of the Robey Theatre Company who instilled not only the finding of truth in your way but also the love of the theatre and well written pieces. I moved on eventually because of life and at the time became more interested in film/television since that is where "paying my bills" laid. I never understood that you could have a life, make a living and do theatre...GOOD THEATRE in Los Angeles, no one ever explained it to me because those I mostly met were here for "Hollywood." There was difficulty in wanting to do pieces outside of my ethnic background in L.A. as well as the pay grade. I thought I couldn't afford to do theatre and no one showed me otherwise so I would get involved with a project here and there every few years to do work that spoke to my soul and would give me an opportunity to play something "the business" sometimes won't allow because of the boxes we're put in. When I walked away from this industry to evolve my being I thought I was truly done. Although I missed the rush, I was happy to see progress in my martial arts and knew I could have a stable future if needed in another love I grew into.  After being convinced to do "The Colony," my beast suggested I look into this industry once again - "just to see." I decided to audition and booked a black box Theatre piece with The Company of Angels called "L.A. Views" - a collection of short stories in which I was in 2 of them. To say it was magical would be an understatement...although there was no pay for rehearsals and $9 a show, this project restored my present drive and I was "in" once again...this time for good.

Within the past year, my idea of theatre has been blown out of the water and my eyes have opened up to Equity Theatre. Here is where you as an artist can go, train and live, all while doing your art. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why did it take so long to learn? Why isn't it shown or taught??? I have no clue but I will now shout it from the mountain tops (via my blog) and tell you that you have options here in Los Angeles. You can make a living in theatre, doing wonderful pieces and speak from your soul if you so choose to do so. I have been diligent in making sure I submit to theatre projects, especially at places I know have wonderful spaces and do good work. I try not to become "trapped" into a specific genre but to whatever speaks to me...a role I may not have an opportunity to play and boy has my attention to this part of the business paid off. A year ago I submitted to a production at International City Theatre in Long Beach to "Flyn' West" - cast by Michael Donovan (you should know this name and submit every chance you get), directed by Saundra McClain (if you see her name, submit,) and caryn desai, artistic director at ICT. It was by far, the biggest stage I had ever been on...the set - beautiful, the character - a pioneer woman I may have never gotten a chance to play because of most people's short sightedness of what they think a pioneer woman would look like...except for the vision of Saundra and then the opportunity of this to apply for the Equity union, AEA. I wasn't making much, in fact in order to be able to do this show, I basically awoke each morning, went to open up the restaurant I worked at in downtown L.A., then jetted from there around 11a to make rehearsals in Long Beach around 12p. - 7p, then home which took 45 min's to an hour every day both ways. I made it work, although difficult, I made sure I was able to survive the non-union pay for this job. I then had the opportunity to fill out paperwork and submit a $100 to be in the Equity candidate's program so I could work Equity theatre jobs and collect hours without having to jump right in. Yes, I gave up one week's pay, but I knew in the long run after speaking to Cheri (who played Sophia and makes a living doing theatre - mostly Shakespeare - I so wanna be her) that this move was the one to make. I even became involved with the Hollywood Fringe Festival in 2014 doing "Four Tree Plays" which if you haven't done yet, look into it for 2016 since this year's HFF just passed, it's a month long of theatre madness in the Hollywood area on theatre row, I mean, I got to be a squirrel and a tree for goodness sake - when will you ever get to be that????

No less than 8 months or so, I was able to audition again for Ms. Saundra McClain (director) who actually just wanted me to come in and read so I could meet Amy Lieberman (another theatre casting director veteran you should know) as well as Jonathan Fox, the artistic director at the New Vic Theatre in Santa Barbara. The funny thing was, I knew Saundra would be doing another play soon and since I love her directing I decided to cover my bases. I found out that the New Vic in Santa Barbara via the Equity website, was having open calls and I drove myself out for 1 1/2 hours to just do a 2 minute monologe to see the space and make myself known. Again, as soon as I walked in, I knew I wanted to perform there but I also kept in mind that the role that was going to open up for me wasn't built for me so to speak. The role "Mayme" in "Intimate Apparel" required singing and piano playing...all in which I had no experience in. Although I learned basics in piano as a child, I never played since and I only sang once in church alone, then never again. I fell in love with the prostitute "Mayme" and wanted to play her so bad, I sang for the first time ever at the call backs (which I was surprised to get since they asked me if I could sing or play and I honestly answered "No, not a lick.") I sang "Amazing Grace" the only hymn I could remember somewhat all the way through...I was off key at times but I sang from the depths I knew Mayme would sing from. I was up against real singers and real piano players yet through open eyes and hearts they saw me, my work, my art and chose me instead! I went up to Santa Barbara on an Equity contract, with housing provided to rehearse for 3 weeks and perform for 3 weeks or so in a dream role, with a dream cast at a dream theatre. About $100 taken from my checks each week for Equity dues but I made enough to pay bills and enjoy my stay in Santa Barbara and I would go back again in a heart beat. To get Equity pay is the way to go in doing theatre, you not only get great pay to survive but the benefits are equal if not better than SAG/AFTRA.

So during these sparse months because of the hiatus on television/film, submit away to theatre projects on roles you believe in playing. Something you know you'll be proud to be a part of and knowing if a Casting Director came to see you, it would be all worth while because the show is just that great. This is where you can play roles that may not be open to you in the film world, so go explore these wonderful opportunities that now will have some form of pay because of the new agreements with Equity. I went in for an understudy as a militant 60's woman recently...had to sing again although it wasn't a musical. It was my second time singing at an audition but I was happy to do so and will continue to do so at every opportunity as you should as well. Don't let the fact of what you can't do hinder you from exploring because after all, you are a creative being and will figure it out...I did! Eventually, I'll be able to take vocal lessons but until then, if it isn't a musical but there is a song in there...I'm gonna go get that done...after a good breakfast that is!

You can survive and work your craft by doing theatre in Los Angeles and it can be brilliant, just dive in and see...

  

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 23

As you see the days dredge onward with no booking, now is the time to savor each one that you get. It's difficult being this close and not getting the prize dangling in front of you - you've spent time to baby this character into fruition - you've read as much material as possible and made your choices, you've driven a quarter of tank of gas or so to round trip yourself, pay for meters if needed, gave up head shots and waited in a room to be seen for a few minutes. Enjoy this...someone didn't get the call. Someone wanted the audition you're at right now so appreciate the fact that your work, your resume, your look, your self got you in the room at this moment. We spend so much time feeding into the negative, we forget how many people wish they could go do art, wish they were rushing in to see a casting director for a show they love and wish to be bold enough to keep following their dreams to perform...and here you are, doing the very thing most people wish for so don't walk away now. Going to auditions is part of the process, yes it sucks to have to say "I've been on this many auditions and not a booking yet" - THAT HAPPENS, it's what you do in the interim that makes you not give up in the process. Restore that artful youth by doing courageous things and celebrating, stick to your choice and hold fast, you too will be rewarded because hard work and dedication to your craft is undeniable regardless of how long you've been pushing against the wall. If you're training, if your art keeps evolving, if you're constantly fighting the fight, your time is coming...just hold on. Understand it takes years to build relationships, years to change perceptions, years to get in front of the right person at the right time sometimes and then it's on. They call it overnight success but we know what overnight success takes so you hang in being you.

I get an audition for a detective in a short film. The sides are 2 pages of quite a bit of dialogue all while prepping for another callback so I've got half a day to get this into my being. It is what it is sometimes and although I would've loved another day to focus, what I can do now is all I've got and I'm proud of that. Although they want a detective with "edge" ( for some reason, I don't appear to have edge in Hollywood's eyes for now and to this I state, "I'm a black belt, female artist - that's edge!" - insert your own affirmation here ), the casting director knows my work and calls me in. There is an eclectic gathering of artists which is wonderful because that means the director/producer is open whether they have an idea of what they want or not. The sides I noticed had physical activity but because I felt I only had so much time, I decided to forgo the miming. TO MIME OR NOT TO MIME...THAT IS THE QUESTION. Whatever your decision, hold fast to your choice, do not go in and out. I prefer mostly to avoid it at all costs unless I have something similar to work with or there is someone to work off of. Since it's a detective part, I'm suppose to be frisking him and handling him rough etc. which for me, miming that wasn't going to be real so I just chucked that idea, I didn't want to get lost in the dialogue but keep focus and that was my choice and I knew it may hinder me because of my look. Oh well, if the people behind the desk can't see past it, they can't see past it - let that go, you did your job, do not falter - let it be. I go in working with the idea I'm holding a gun but I stay still and in the scene, the only action I do is at the end when I holster the gun but I do not mime anything else, for me it didn't make sense. I almost left before hearing a note because with so many bodies in the space I thought I heard thank-you but the casting director asked me to stay a minute and the director spoke to me saying he really liked my choices and had no problems with them but would like to see a second take where "I was more aggressive because the guy may be bigger and that there was a lot of action involved." Did I become more physical during my second take...NO! I knew that may be what he wanted to see but I wasn't going to assume since he had not worded it that way clearly. I became more aggressive in my voice and stature but I stayed still with the gun pointed and more aggravated in tone when I holstered. I could see the Casting Director and her assistant nodding and smiling behind the camera...I did my job, my way with the notes given and I felt great walking out of that room. I didn't give him what I thought he may want to see...I gave him exactly what I could play naturally in that moment so always do what your instincts in your art says to do, even with the notes, stay within your work and trust that, I promise you it's more than enough. Booking no booking, way too many variables...feeling good about your work because you stayed true to what you had to play and with whom...PRICELESS! See, I'm open to the notes and playing it the way needed on set for the director's vision but at auditions, I must be firm in my choice and shape the notes to suit what I'm already playing unless I'm so far off that I have to do a 160, which is rarely the case because I've done my homework.

So like that, I'm out of the room and downstairs celebrating at https://plus.google.com/104701749990390299324/about?gl=us&hl=en "Doomies" vegetarian with deep fried avacado, slaw and whoopie pie!

When you're at the point where you know that you know and you can walk into and out of a room knowing...you better celebrate each and every time because you're evolving into your artistry and there is no where to go but up from there! Have faith in your work, your talent, who you are...you are unique and no one can take that unless you allow it to be so. As artists we're fragile to the whilings of everyone in the room but as you grow in this business, you'll understand how to make yourself happy as well as the room during this audition process and leave walking on cloud 9 as you deserve! It's taken me a long time to get here, I don't plan on ever going back...I'm in a happy place and I only wish that for you as well, the booking is just the booking, you're going to have way more auditions so I hope you enjoy them or learn to enjoy them as much as I do. Strong artists make for happy work! Happy Work to you all....