No auditions so far this week...BUT I did just get into my first ever, faith based short play - After Death/After Life going up in October at the Panorama High School Auditorium! I am performing this Thursday for the first time in the alternate cast for "When Stars Align" at the Odyssey Theatre with only 3 rehearsals on my feet on stage and 1 of the three with costumes, props & lights...YIKERS. I am in Mark Twain's "Adam & Eve" at the Fremont Theatre in the beginning of November so...no auditions, doesn't mean I can't work! 3 scripts to juggle has been a fantastical process to sort out in my mind. Can I do it??? I better!!! I can't get better training push than doing 3 theater pieces at one time...thank goodness my instructor, Allen Levin at Lifebook, is always about doing as many scene rehearsals as possible, you learn to compartmentalize and it's nuts how my mind seems to jump from one to the next. I'm in awe of brains man...what a wonderful instrument to hone into. While this was all coming about, I was just a mess thinking about it, but as the days have cleared and the time approaching, it's all coming together - for that I am thankful! Even went to see "When Stars Align" one last time with 1 "angel alternate" up with the original cast, love seeing a show done with different perspectives. That's what makes us all unique and needed for this business. We can't be like each other, so why even try...it's unnecessary when explaining art from your point of view with your own brand of uniqueness. We live differently and that's what makes each one of us special in our own right...there is NO ONE like you, there can be similarities but there is NO ONE like you, so go out there and keep expressing that and do not let this business take that part of your soul. You will never be truly happy loosing who you really are to fit in...work may come easier but you'll never express your art the way it was meant to be which will wear on you...even with all the money and fame. So, do yourself a favor and fight it now, struggle it out now to express your art, your work the way you see and stay true. This business will bend to you, they will see you, they will respect you and you will take this "crazy show" for a ride with your truth!!! Love watching beautiful artists at work, Congrats Jahmaul & Kaitlin (angel alternates) & Sarah in "When Stars Align" - happy to be a part of it!

For my last, strict vegan meal of 7 days of 1 vegan meal & juicing ( did Kale, carrots, beets, watermelon, cantaloupe, apples and lemons) all day, I ate my leftover buffalo cauliflower and watermelon salad with red onions and a drizzle of pomegranate balsamic. I am ready for my 4 days of the master cleanse ( I now use raw cane, green liquid sugar instead of maple syrup because it is available now) and 3 days of Geo's Organic juice cleanse! Many people ask why and I always say, "Do you not change the oil out of your car??? View your body as a machine, a very hard working machine that has put in time, since your birth...don't you think it would get clogged up with junk eventually from all the foods you eat? Not everything passes and I don't want that in my system for life causing a disease I could have prevented somewhat. I enjoy food too much to have to give something up because I was forced too. I'll take the precautionary steps now to keep my body functioning at optimal level and believe me when I say it does and it will." Of course, the first time you flush toxins out, you may get through a 1/2 day...if that...maybe 3 days the first time like I did. Then I kept at it and realized it was mind over matter, I was getting my nutrients, I didn't feel exhausted all the time (at first, now I rarely feel exhausted) and the only thing missing was the full feeling I have grown accustomed to. You usually go into a very deep sleep and require less sometimes, especially after doing it for years which is always interesting to me. The fact that you still need to go to the bathroom after 7 days of not a solid bite of food is always enough for me to keep doing my flush cleanses 2x's a year! I don't do this for weight loss guys, that's ridiculous unless you come off it to only then keep doing mostly a liquid diet which isn't gonna happen for me. Do you lose weight, yes but it's mostly water and you gain it back pending on how you eat after; I've even noticed that I would start gaining weight back towards the end of my cleanse, hence the reason I pay no attention to the scale, muscle does weigh more...if you only knew how much I weighed, HA! I have noticed that I do want to put better food in my body each and every time, more so and have started to pay closer attention to what I eat but that took some years to do while doing the flush, your body will tell you and you will start listening.

My body feels great...I still work out every day while on the cleanse, I even biked around Glendale while my car was getting fixed with a pit stop inbetween my 1 hour ride in the heat each way. I just hit up a Vinyasa Flow class (for 1:15), then a 20 minute sauna session, along with stretching for 1 hour at home during the day and then 30 minutes of stretching before bed. Today it is water zumba with 1 hour stretching at home and 30 minutes of stretching before bed because I still have that challenge to accomplish for the show I'm in on Thursday...it's only 2 days away now, ARGH! Yes, it has been a challenge, I definitely took 2 steps back this week so we'll see what my body does this Thursday for the show...I'm looking forward to it!

"Love Handles" is officially a part of TVOne - let's get a Season 2! Check it out, all 7 episodes up with some extra deleted pieces at:  http://tvone.tv/tag/love-handles/ 

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 34

Another at home audition requested by me to submit to a film shooting in Mississippi and New Orleans. Do I care if I get it...yes but no...I just want to keep auditioning whenever I can. This is the big part of the business...the rejection...the not even getting the audition...the not even knowing of an audition...the not fitting into the demographic so you can even audition. So, if you're in no man's land like me, you gotta figure out a way to carve your own path. I know I look like I should fit in...but I don't when it comes to casting and that's okay, but I'm not going to go off silently in the night. I am here to pursue my dreams and I will not be deterred! I'm going to figure out how to keep busy while this business figures out what to do with me and in the meantime, I'm gonna get out as much as possible because someone, somewhere is open to seeing me and just wanting good work in their production. So, I started submitting to out of state low budget projects and I know they're looking for a name to get a push themselves, but if it doesn't happen, I can be the back up but they won't know it unless I get to them. A few takes during football and I have my clips to upload and it's done although it's due tomorrow I'm always happy to get it in a bit earlier just in case the server acts up. Auditions to practice at home ='s good times and you usually have the sides for at least a couple of days before the tape is due. Get on them and do them as much as you can by simply requesting it whenever you see a film that may have a role for you and shooting in an area that you may have friends/family or a place you just want to visit! A little work, a little vacay is the best way to view these opportunities and who knows what may come of it - just by submitting you're allowing yourself a chance to get on someone's radar...Win, Win!

I don't know why I ever challenged myself to do this move for the production of "When Stars Align" and with so little time I have felt pushed which isn't a bad thing, just a scary feeling because I'd like to do this right. My right leg feels uber tight all the time now and I'm not quite sure if I'm making progress at this moment in the pictures above but the show must go on...and the challenge dealt with. Once I get this back, I will never, ever let it go!!!

I mean come on...does this even look like fun to you??? Am I even closer? Why is it hurting more?

I have 9 days left as of today...yikers! Although I don't feel like my splits are going anywhere, I have noticed my right leg straightening out on the standing splits which is how it should be but who knows, I may take 4 steps back in the next few days - urgh! Does my left leg look anywhere near closer...inches man...I need like a foot of improvement right about now - what to do, what to do...going to do some water zumba class for the first time this morning and get my stretch on. Since my juicing and strict vegan eating has been for the last 6 days in order to make way for my Master Cleanse phase starting tomorrow, I've been slowing up the workouts to one hour a day since I need to be able to think right for the rest of the day. I got a chance to try the buffalo style vegan chicken sandwich at Veggie Grill which I am truly loving and made my own organic buffalo style cauliflower with the leftover salad from VG to round out my meals over the last few days. Exhausting yes, but your spirit is happy when challenged on all cylinders so this has been quite a push for me in a physical, I gotta to do this thing sense. I even made the plunge to go back to all natural deodorant full time to be pleasantly surprised at the choices they've got out there now that work! One week in and I haven't stunk like I normally do and believe me, with my kinda sweat, it's not blooming flowers after I work out. Found several options that I decided to try, the Lavilin was the most expensive but would only need to be used once every 7 days when the body got used to it. So I started with that and had the beast sniff test my pits during the week process as I reapplied when needed for the first time...IT WORKED! Finally an all natural product that worked for me and I have been scouring the earth for quite some time and had given up hope but now...I'm all in! I decided to use the once a week on Sundays and refresh when needed with the other 2 options pending on what was happening. I truly am happy to finally be able to switch my deodorant, that has been such a contradiction for me but there was no way I was going anywhere and making people suffer from my funk. YAY, another good choice that works even better than the bad stuff....ha!

Got a chance to do some costume fittings since I'm an alternate, we needed to see if any of the clothes that fit the lead Rose (played by the beautiful Allison) would fit me...the skirts will be riding a bit high on me but we've worked out the outfits to stay within the tight budget of theatre. So happy to finally just get to sit in the audience and watch the performance done by these hardworking artists, to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about where someone stands or exits was a nice break from the show. Excited to be a part of it and happy to meet such beautiful people...even had to hang out like a groupie and get pictures with some of the cast.

 Not only are the dates getting closer to performing "When Stars Align" but I got great news that the small web series that I decided to do because of the brilliant writing is officially tagged on TVOne's site along with running the episodes with some deleted takes - Go "Love Handles," absolutely proud to be a part of this project dealing with friends, weight and dating! Wahoo, dreams can come true...you just gotta believe - do you? Claim it and keep pushing forward towards it!!!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 33

Today was the callback to the final callbacks (supposedly) so I went in looking as close to looking exactly the same as last week. Got paired with the same fella and we eventually got in, I read it as close to the last notes they gave which was to play her more on edge/untrusting. We left the room and they said thank-you to my partner and asked me to stay. As my partner exited, I raced to the bathroom and saw his walk away with lost confidence. I then said, "Hey, great work, so nice seeing you again" in which he replied "It seems like you've made it to the next round," sadly. I look him square in the eyes and I tell him not to do that, because in this business you never know, they may have made the decision with him. The person they've got running back and forth isn't necessarily the shoo in...the actor that gets the hug from the casting director in the waiting room doesn't have the role yet...the person chatting with the director when you arrive or leave isn't always going to be the person picked. Understand this, that no matter what outside forces try to beat down your art, you walk in with strength and you leave with even more knowing you rocked it like no one else. I never allow outside things to shake my shine, I see the cd hugging an actor and I think, Wow, can't wait for my relationship to be there with them, I see the actor doing all the reading with everyone and I'm like, that will be me soon enough and I see the director chatting it up with another actor and I say, after they work with me, they will chat it up with me whenever they see me too. I do not let the fact that these things happening, lessen my shot in the room, in fact I accept is as a challenge to make them take even more notice of my work. When circumstances push you, you turn and face it and push back fiercely with all your training and work. I then went in with another guy who seemed to have been there all day with everyone and I repeated my performance with small nuisances because this guy gave me something different. Again, I was excused and asked to stay...then paired up with #3. He went in with someone else and I heard them state I could leave, I gathered my things and started to exit, down the hall I hear the casting director yelling my name and I head back in. I go into the room with #3, we perform the scene and I finally get to leave after an hour and a half. What a fantastical, chemistry pair up reading that was...good times just getting to see what you can bring with different folks...will I get this? Not sure but I do know that when the Casting Director and one of the writers saw me in the hallway entering before I went to sign in, they acknowledged me by name. That's a win in my book, one more casting office that is now a fan of my work...this is what makes me push harder. The breakdown for this role was for an Asian/Caucasian Female, I saw one other black girl there at the call backs and only me not fitting the role description all the way at the final call backs for this sci-fi film. When you know what they're looking for and still manage to change their minds enough to see you again is what you're made to do - just get in there and do that all over them, make their decision difficult and walk away knowing you gave it all you got. Booking the job is icing on the cake, getting to show them your art and having them appreciate that is the cake...keep on doing that so they know they can call you in for all different types of roles, that is my goal...not to be just one thing in their minds but for them to see an open end of possibilities in my choices.

So I've got 20 days in these 1st pictures to get my stretch on for "When Stars Align" at the Odyssey with 2 guaranteed performances and the days are rolling by as I wonder why I ever challenged myself to even try this feat. However, here's the journey so far as I'm pushing through to get this move...Yoga & Zumba, Ripped Class & Zumba, Yoga & Kickboxing and sometimes just stretching and I've gotten here! Urgh...this hurts so good...WHY? Can I do a take back???

I want that leg to hit my face and stay there with little to no effort...I've got 15 days left...and yesterday I was here in my Right/Left Leg splits...oh please just a few more inches!!! I can do this...maybe...HA! Time to eat...urgh...had to make my fruit infused water with cucumbers, lemons & cantaloupe ( so I can snack when I drink ) with a snack of vegan cauliflower soup from Follow Your Heart - organic, veggie spaghetti with kale, purple carrots, mushroom, red onions & yellow bell peppers in spicy sauce along with a organic fruit smoothie ( strawberries, bananas with skin, blueberries, vegan powder, apple cider vinegar, rice vinegar, flax & chia ) topped with crushed soy free egg shells for calcium.

To treat myself for all of this focus into my art, I gave myself an at home spa day...dead sea, clay body mask, egg whites for the face and neck and old mayo in the fridge left over from family visits all up in my hair...bring on the CHILLAXIN'! This costs maybe $10 at the most...all in the comfort of my own space. When you need to celebrate and don't have the extra moola to do so, you can figure out how within your budget but you must make the effort for yourself and your art. Don't put off your celebrations, it makes for an overworked spirit/mind/soul and that can never keep producing beautious work without the thankfulness you must give back. This shouldn't feel like work to you, this is play time with a shot to shoot!

 Decided to focus on my Dramatic Scene/Comedic Scene Reels over Labor Day Weekend and although I was missing plenty of clips from my work, sometimes you've just got to go and get it done anyway. No more excuses for me...I'll add 'em when I get 'em but I won't just stay waiting for them - gotta keep on pushing...I decided since Actor's Access likes clips now and I've got full dramatic & comedic scenes, I'll put them together as such and work on a quick demo reel later...for now, I'm proud to have some really good scenes, even from my passion project "JANE," by Mike Quain at www.quainphoto.com

Work hard, play focused and keep expressing your art!!! So, it is time to also do my 1/2 yearly cleanse and I start today on my 9+ day quest - 3 days of smoothies, juices and 1-2 vegan meals per day, then 3 days of just juicing and 3+ days on the Master Cleanse to get my insides functioning at optimal level of goodness, because if you know me, you knows I likes to eat!!!! Bring it clean body, mind & spirit...we've got work to do!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 32

So no auditions that I went to last week made this week's straight to callback audition even that more fantastical! For me, not fitting into a lot of catergories, getting at least one theatrical audition a week during the off times is something truly remarkable. I'm hoping since I've made some connections and headway during this past year, that this upcoming season for Television and Film will pop off brilliantly and by brilliantly I mean 2x's a week at least =). The funny thing is, I think this was the audition I received no reply to last week but during the long wait, I spoke to several actors that had come in the past week and a few days ago to finally arrive at this callback. What was great about it, was that they paired people up...some actors were complaining...ha! I live to work with a body when I audition, that usually doesn't happen so you don't get to do certain reactions because you don't get to play off someone and it can be hard to pull something from a reader who is looking down at the paper the whole time. Luckily, I got someone tall since there where more shorter people there and we worked the scene 4-5 times before going in. I got to play with different choices and choose off his reactions what was best for the both of us. We played it lighter with some heavy moments and got redirected to play it heavy the whole time - WE NAILED IT! We were asked to step out and wait, then brought back in together to be told we were in for the final callbacks for next week - Yay! They asked us to remember the last choice we gave them and to bring that in. I love walking out already knowing that I'll be going back, gives me time to go back over the sides in true fashion and to read as much as I can on the project as well, even if it's just reading everyone else's sides. Homework with a happy face...so, let's celebrate! Creole shrimp bag anyone??? Ha!

When you don't have a big agent/management you have to do everything in your power to make sure you're getting into the rooms to see them. "How?" You say....well, for me I've done the workshop thing and I only do it when I can hone in to cd's I truly need to see since it's more money to see them. Some people scream out that you're paying to get in front of casting, that it's not a natural process and to pay to audition is wrong. I get it, but I'm not opposed to it because I've seen results from it from offices I may not have ever got into. I don't make it into a business but every now and then when I've got an extra $30-$50 bucks because of a gig I did and I need to celebrate a booking, sometimes I treat myself to a workshop to see a casting office I haven't had a chance to make a connection with that I know I can be on a show they're working on. I go in, read my scene and I'm out...then I start the process of sending my info via e-mail, getting postcards to them, letting them know I'm out here working and they can come see me in a play or a show just by tuning in. I don't do these often, but when and if I do, I see a cd I can't seem to get in to show my work for a show I can be on right now. This doesn't take place of my acting classes, this is just a bonus to write off at the end of the year towards making a connection. See, your thing may be to go network at a bar party and spend cash on drinks and food as you chat it up...I don't do network parties so I choose to spend money on a workshop, once or twice a year instead. The choice is yours, however you spend it, just do it wisely and if you don't see results...STOP - easy as that.

I also suggest that during the slow months that you really pay attention to the breakdowns. Really focus in on who's casting what. I've noticed that during slow times, some of the big cd's are casting deferred/low budget/plays during their down time, whether to help a friend or just to keep busy or they really like the project etc. This is when I hone in...because this my friends is a "free audition" whether you want the job or not. You can meet the casting, audition for a small project they are working on and then keep in touch during the busy times and remind them of coming in for that production which they are usually very grateful for. So your thing can't be just to see deferred or no pay or theatre and wipe it away...take notice on who is working on the project and submit if it's someone you realize you've been needing to check out, it's not always about the pay - you don't get paid to audition anyway, so just go see them on a smaller job, you may build a relationship from there.

Before or after the hoopla, I must also keep my body and mind healthy - nothing like knowing I'm taking care of myself to make me feel great when I present my work. Upping my workouts to twice a day sometimes has cleared my mind to work at optimal level and I've got to be honest....there's a move I really want to do for a play I'm in that I use to be able to do. I've challenged myself to get there when I perform on Sept. 24th & Oct. 1st at the Odyssey, so I go to Yoga before or after my Zumba class - I'm gonna do this right!!!! Although I'm the understudy/alternate and no one is doing it, I decided for me and in the context of the play, to do something different in my take of the show...wish me fast process cause I got 20 days to get it down. Who's almost ready to be in the show, ha - Let's do dis!!!!