The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 1
HAPPY NEW/REFRESHED START!!!! Regardless of where you're at right now or how you feel about it, things can change in a blink of an eye, so stay prepared. Now is the time to shrug off last year's disappointments/achievements and look forward with a more focused eye, whatever was...it was...LAST YEAR! This can be heavy because if you are feeling the slowness of the down time, you can become unproductive but now is the time to restart...to realign and to know that you're even better/stronger than you were. Take note of that, realize and give yourself congrats because while you're still here, many have quit...left the business because it was difficult...decided it wasn't for them and yet you still stand, you still fight and you still hope. Keep on dreaming no matter what others may say, you know you've improved, you've made steps forward and you've become more aware of your artistry. While "quitting" can be the easy out, you have to know that to quit is to be a disservice to this business because you have a purpose to change viewpoints and this industry if you so choose to do so as well as knowing you wouldn't give this up for the world....not even hitting the Powerball! (YES, I would still do this but now I would have the means to own a production company and put out fantastic films that represent the lot of us!) Whatever your goal may be, allow it to grow as you do, change as you do and give back whenever you can along the way. I may not be able to do all that I wish to help, contribute or donate but I damn sure try my bestest with every fiber of my being.
Today was a simple day of a print job. No biggie...these come and go and some have terrible pay while others seem to compensate very well, you must decide and hopefully have others around you to help you decide that some are worth it while others you should pass. Making that choice is ultimately in your hands...although I'd love to just hurry up and get paid a quick $200/$300 for less than a day's work, the idea that they have your image in perpetuity to use as they see fit is alarming. Sometimes I just can't allow it but every now and then something interesting comes up and I say "I wouldn't mind doing that" regardless of cost. Although this wasn't a time, my manager had sent me out so I realized I wanted to get back into it this year, so I went. I went and saw my girl Colleen also running in and we were able to catch up so that made it all worth while. See sometimes, just going will help you put things into perspective, will help you really know what you must do and how you must get on it so you don't have to contemplate about these types of jobs and if you book - great - but if not, no sweat...you used the audition with purpose. You have the power as well and once you understand that, you may wield it as you see fit. Make your choices with a discerning eye, know what you do will be around for quite some time and understand with every action there is a reaction...now or 20 years from now. It will come up, mistakes usually do and that's okay, just try not to keep at it in your choices if there is an end game into the roles you'd prefer...yes, that means more struggle but with more struggles come greater rewards...yes, that too takes time for the most part but you keep on building, keep chipping away at it and you'll see how all of the sudden you're riding on cloud 9 of your dreams. Just don't think you must compromise everything in order to get there...your work, your talent, your drive will get you there eventually...don't give away your art for this if that isn't what you're about. Win them over, make them respect you...make them listen...they will, it's a walking through mud experience but boy is it glorious on the other side.
Christmas 2015 was absolutely breathtaking...family, friends, foods, drinks and kiddos...LIFE! Throughout the year I collect gifts so I feel like I'm doing Christmas all the time...with this line of work you never know when you will have and when you won't and usually by November this business hibernates so I've learned to prepare. Whenever I have a little extra cash and I'm running around, I tend to make sure I buy something that would make a great gift for a Born Day or for the holidays. I store it in a cabinet and when needed I go through it and see if there is anything I've tucked away for this special occasion. It's saved me a plenty of headaches of not running around trying to find something last minute as well as saving money because during the year the sales/clearance racks can be a gold mine if you're looking properly. Did someone say 75% off, why yes then, I will take a looksie and get something for me as well as a future giftee for my loves. This way I can spend the holidays just baking cookies and passing them out with love - my secret cookies are called my berry pie cookies only done usually for December although I may crack them out for Valentine's Day this year because I love, love!!!
Getting a flight home to be with my fam bam from my beast was a gift that made me cry while opening up the presents. See, I had finally gotten a job that I wanted at a local, organic bakery that just opened up and was going through their hiring process while dealing with trying to open. I had decided I wanted to see everyone in November but cancelled when I got the call that we would start training...of course I learned that opening doesn't always happen when you want and was into December when training even started. Didn't think I'd see WA until April/May when pilot season was over and when the bakery got a sense of the type of employee I was but because of the foresight of my beast and very good flight rates, I was able to get home for my Born Day with my parents whom I hadn't seen since my play in Santa Barbara in Feb. 2015. One week of onsies and eating all the Korean food I craved because my umma don't play when I come to visit. Spending time with my parents and family brightened up my spirit and allowed me to realize the whole reason I left WA to pursue my dreams...it was for all of us and hopefully I can make good on celebrating with them soon although soon has been years. I didn't let me being in WA change my path and while there, I made sure to send out to all 9 agencies located in the state. I've submitted over the years so many times with no response but that doesn't stop me from trying each time I visit. They haven't stated they weren't interested so I just keep right on getting them my work...crossing my fingers this time for some sort of interest but if not, I do realize one day they will wish they had...but in the mean time, I will keep on doing this with every ounce of my being. Keep sending your materials, it's not useless and keep doing it, one day you'll realize why but it's better that the cd's/directors know what you're doing than not...this gives you a shot so don't squash that because others have stated it doesn't work. It does...sometimes faster than others but it does put out that energy that you're up to something and they should know.
January is my Born Month and I love to celebrate all month long with everyone dear because this keeps me grounded in knowing who's in my corner routing for me. I wouldn't still be here doing this if it wasn't for my circle because I'm just not strong enough, I wish I was but it takes not only your tenacity but support of the people surrounding you to get through the lean, mean years of rejection. This is the main reason that who you hold near can make or break your spirit so guard it, don't fall into the negative chat because it will get you no where. Someone saying "It's time to be done, nothing has come of it" is not the one you need to hear from when you've had a terrible audition or a tough year because tough years follow by booking time and that booking time can be the change but you will never know that because you listened to the wrong person in your sphere. Trust me, it's easier to be negative, fall into that hole no matter how positive you are so make sure to hold tight to your precious art. No matter how good you feel you are, even with proof, there is someone that wants to tell you about all the bad so let them go, especially in this New Year and see how having a positive community around you changes everything. Then don't forget to appreciate it, hold dear that someone wants to see you shine brightly as you were meant to because that time is coming! Fried mushrooms with spinach puree and a bread pudding I wouldn't share with the rascals below...because it's my Born Day and me no share my food...ever!!!! HA
Along with a New Year came a new job, a local organic made from scratch kinda bakery and although I've helped run a restaurant as FOH, I've never done all of what I'm about to do. Prepping baked goods, making espressos/smoothies and making iced teas via the espresso machine because we're not fully up & running yet although we open NOW. Yep, that's me with the list of food and ingredients looking scared because I don't have time for dis, I like to be prepared but sometimes no matter how hard to try, things don't work out the way you wish so you push on. Your art will do the same, you may not feel ready at times but if you stay training, focused, working in those moments when things are thrown at you, you may stress, be nervous, feel you're not prepared/prepped enough don't despair - all that training you've done for over these years has led up to this very moment, don't you dare back away or cower...know you are the cream that rises to the top whenever given the opportunity! SHINE ON my fellow artists, can't wait to see you all in the new, refreshed start!!!
Marq-ita or Marq-uita if you nasty!!! 1st home audition of the new start and I gets to play someone uber competitive/cut throat in the corporate world with 3 pages of pure dialogue...YES PLEASE!!!! I even developed her into having 2 ways to say her name whenever it suit her because we all know someone, somewhere that has done it or is still doing it today and that's real. Anytime I get to play/audition for someone completely in a different sphere as me, I chomp at dos bits...I really, really, really want to portray someone supposedly utterly, despicable in many ways because I feel I can do so with layers now. It wasn't so years ago but now, I just want someone to recognize that it's okay to play a hated person with some sort of depth. The bigger stars get the chance the most but hopefully with more indies being done by you & me, we can get a better sense of humanity outside of one note. They asked for a plain wall for less distractions and I've got only one room with nothing hanging from it, so although textured and yellow, it's gonna have to do since outside was the only other option and with birds, noise and the fact that I'm suppose to be in an office didn't up the outside wall's take. I did get all gussied up because I felt the character as such, normally I'd just make up this face and get it done but sometimes in order to feel more the part/audition, even though at home, you still must go through the steps but after, back in my jammies of course!!! Edited all, sent it a day early because I'm bound to another audition tomorrow and now focused on the scene for it. Love getting these chances to read for bigger, small roles where you're not the lead but you're not just saying one line either, now trust, I'd take one line every day if I could but I also know now, that I'm just not that person for the most part in their eyes, so I've had to really focus on trying to get the roles that are smaller but with more meat in 'em. How you ask? By always building a story with the one lines in every office I've been in so they realize I'm there for bigger things. Do I take a hit on the bookings...Yes, but it's with purpose, although I know that getting a line is amazing in and of itself, I want more...I want to create a role within that so they'd give me a bigger piece of the pie. I want to go in with a co-star line and walk away with a recurring co-star if possible if not a chance for a guest. I take just as much time for one line as I do for a scene because in the end, I want them to know they can develop any character I read for into something bigger if they must ( and should. ) Don't ever just think you belong in one particular category ever, no matter how they want to box you, surprise them whenever you can just to let them know you can do more or less if needed but you're there as a full actor/actress in whatever part given to you. You must believe no matter how this business views you, that you have the last word but you must know that...so if you're character...yes, you can be viewed sexy, ( look at Melissa McCarthy - love her ) if you're sexy...yes, you can be viewed character ( i.e. Johnny Depp ) but you as the artist have that responsibility to portray that if you so choose to do so with much heartache and work. That means changing your roles as much as possible when you can to give them something different. Yes, it's easier to just get in with being a doctor because you look like one but when you get the chance, take a role ( even if it's little pay but being shot well ) that is on the opposite side of the spectrum of you and have that in your arsenal for later because it will come up and you want to be prepared for all opportunities that arise. Keep your work, your art, yourself open and let no one tell you what box you're suppose to be in, do the box if it's there but know you can change that if you work on it constantly. Hard, yes but if this was easy, everyone would do it, so let's dig in and get to work!!!
My health has always been the most important factor of living...I avoid colds but because I went home to WA, I didn't have a couple of simple things I usually use to keep the nasties at bay along with eating what I wish since Thanksgiving hasn't been the best for my body as well. I decided to experiment since most of my actor friends seem to have gotten sick recently. I only did my oil pulling and although it held what I felt away, I could still feel it coming on with all the coldness of WA that I'm not use to anymore. Then coming back to L.A. which is warm, I still didn't get my lemons/limes and even skipped some oil pulling days and then it came...my sore throat, funky feeling stomach and a cough to boot. I raced to get limes ( instead of cough syrup ) to see how this would all play out. My voice going wonky, instead of cough syrup I grabbed my trusty lime, some hot water and fresh ginger and drank that before bed. I barely coughed through out the night, I followed up with my oil pulling in the morning with some more lime, ginger hot water after and felt better. Although I have a slight runny nose now and barely a cough throughout the day, I decided to do some more lime-ginger water and will finish it off with another cup this evening before bed...to oil pull or not is the question since I've done it already once. Well, seeing that I felt fine this morning, I'll wait til the morn but so far so good. When I do this on the regular, I don't even allow it to become a sore throat so I do realize that preventing that first step is the best defense but if not and it slips through the cracks, I do now know that you can still combat it with the same simple ingredients and steps and feel better...I won't let it get into phase 3, I'm good at experimenting but not when it comes to my health. So, try the oil pulling, then lime or lemon water with some fresh ginger into your routine if you want to skip out on all the badies this season. This worked for me and for $5 for oil, $3 for limes, $2 for ginger, it wouldn't hurt to see if this worked before your next cold! Cold busting ramen style soup is super cheap and super easy - one of my go to Korean meals packed with better. Wheat noodles in a vegetable base soup and then you add the soy sauce mixture of sesame oil, sesame seeds, green onions and crushed red peppers to kick it all up a notch, you can even drop an egg is you so desire! Yummers!!!
Although I've been off my good eating path, I still have been reintegrating it all back in...found some pre-made gluten free/soy free/dairy free cookie dough from Whole Foods ( thanks Colleen for my giftee certificate ) since sometimes I just want a quick treat and they were pretty delish however, very expensive. Not as good as when I bake them but with less effort these are pretty awesome...there is one more I'd like to try before I tell ya which one was the winner. So, here's to our mini celebrations to start off this crazy roller coaster ride of a business we're all in. Hang in, fasten your seat belts cause this ride can go from 0 - 100 in no time!!! YAY! 
