Today was a simple day of a print job. No biggie...these come and go and some have terrible pay while others seem to compensate very well, you must decide and hopefully have others around you to help you decide that some are worth it while others you should pass. Making that choice is ultimately in your hands...although I'd love to just hurry up and get paid a quick $200/$300 for less than a day's work, the idea that they have your image in perpetuity to use as they see fit is alarming. Sometimes I just can't allow it but every now and then something interesting comes up and I say "I wouldn't mind doing that" regardless of cost. Although this wasn't a time, my manager had sent me out so I realized I wanted to get back into it this year, so I went. I went and saw my girl Colleen also running in and we were able to catch up so that made it all worth while. See sometimes, just going will help you put things into perspective, will help you really know what you must do and how you must get on it so you don't have to contemplate about these types of jobs and if you book - great - but if not, no sweat...you used the audition with purpose. You have the power as well and once you understand that, you may wield it as you see fit. Make your choices with a discerning eye, know what you do will be around for quite some time and understand with every action there is a reaction...now or 20 years from now. It will come up, mistakes usually do and that's okay, just try not to keep at it in your choices if there is an end game into the roles you'd prefer...yes, that means more struggle but with more struggles come greater rewards...yes, that too takes time for the most part but you keep on building, keep chipping away at it and you'll see how all of the sudden you're riding on cloud 9 of your dreams. Just don't think you must compromise everything in order to get there...your work, your talent, your drive will get you there eventually...don't give away your art for this if that isn't what you're about. Win them over, make them respect you...make them listen...they will, it's a walking through mud experience but boy is it glorious on the other side.
Getting a flight home to be with my fam bam from my beast was a gift that made me cry while opening up the presents. See, I had finally gotten a job that I wanted at a local, organic bakery that just opened up and was going through their hiring process while dealing with trying to open. I had decided I wanted to see everyone in November but cancelled when I got the call that we would start training...of course I learned that opening doesn't always happen when you want and was into December when training even started. Didn't think I'd see WA until April/May when pilot season was over and when the bakery got a sense of the type of employee I was but because of the foresight of my beast and very good flight rates, I was able to get home for my Born Day with my parents whom I hadn't seen since my play in Santa Barbara in Feb. 2015. One week of onsies and eating all the Korean food I craved because my umma don't play when I come to visit. Spending time with my parents and family brightened up my spirit and allowed me to realize the whole reason I left WA to pursue my dreams...it was for all of us and hopefully I can make good on celebrating with them soon although soon has been years. I didn't let me being in WA change my path and while there, I made sure to send out to all 9 agencies located in the state. I've submitted over the years so many times with no response but that doesn't stop me from trying each time I visit. They haven't stated they weren't interested so I just keep right on getting them my work...crossing my fingers this time for some sort of interest but if not, I do realize one day they will wish they had...but in the mean time, I will keep on doing this with every ounce of my being. Keep sending your materials, it's not useless and keep doing it, one day you'll realize why but it's better that the cd's/directors know what you're doing than not...this gives you a shot so don't squash that because others have stated it doesn't work. It does...sometimes faster than others but it does put out that energy that you're up to something and they should know.
January is my Born Month and I love to celebrate all month long with everyone dear because this keeps me grounded in knowing who's in my corner routing for me. I wouldn't still be here doing this if it wasn't for my circle because I'm just not strong enough, I wish I was but it takes not only your tenacity but support of the people surrounding you to get through the lean, mean years of rejection. This is the main reason that who you hold near can make or break your spirit so guard it, don't fall into the negative chat because it will get you no where. Someone saying "It's time to be done, nothing has come of it" is not the one you need to hear from when you've had a terrible audition or a tough year because tough years follow by booking time and that booking time can be the change but you will never know that because you listened to the wrong person in your sphere. Trust me, it's easier to be negative, fall into that hole no matter how positive you are so make sure to hold tight to your precious art. No matter how good you feel you are, even with proof, there is someone that wants to tell you about all the bad so let them go, especially in this New Year and see how having a positive community around you changes everything. Then don't forget to appreciate it, hold dear that someone wants to see you shine brightly as you were meant to because that time is coming! Fried mushrooms with spinach puree and a bread pudding I wouldn't share with the rascals below...because it's my Born Day and me no share my food...ever!!!! HA
Along with a New Year came a new job, a local organic made from scratch kinda bakery and although I've helped run a restaurant as FOH, I've never done all of what I'm about to do. Prepping baked goods, making espressos/smoothies and making iced teas via the espresso machine because we're not fully up & running yet although we open NOW. Yep, that's me with the list of food and ingredients looking scared because I don't have time for dis, I like to be prepared but sometimes no matter how hard to try, things don't work out the way you wish so you push on. Your art will do the same, you may not feel ready at times but if you stay training, focused, working in those moments when things are thrown at you, you may stress, be nervous, feel you're not prepared/prepped enough don't despair - all that training you've done for over these years has led up to this very moment, don't you dare back away or cower...know you are the cream that rises to the top whenever given the opportunity! SHINE ON my fellow artists, can't wait to see you all in the new, refreshed start!!!
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