This is one of my biggest auditions to date and mums the word because with some projects already being in the public eye, secrecy is demanded...even had to sign a "NDA" - Non Disclosure Agreement walking into the office so what happens in that office stays in that office. My sides had my name written across it for the first time ever along with casting taking my sides when I left...I was like "you gonna give me .20 cents for that paper and ink...but with my inside voice - HA!!!! I had to crop off the casting office's name in the picture even so as not to leak a single hint but this was a memory to be cherished. Whether this happens or not, to be able to go in for something of this magnitude has shown me that my path is continuing forward and that is all I can keep searching for and keep asking to be given. I love seeing others progress, why? Because it means it just a matter of time for me, so I route, cheer and holler for every person out there rediscovering their dreams, pushing forward on their ideals and reaching for it all. Your time, is my time...we celebrate together. I guess I'll only be able to talk about this audition once it's out in the universe but until then, just know I did what I could do and I'm excited to see who gets it, can't wait to support it as well. With all this quietness I had to enjoy a big lunch to let it all sink in and to tell my art there was nothing else I could have given in that room, I gave what I had to give and for that - I EAT...and eat I did, urth salad with tuna, crusty bread, blueberry cheesecake (on bake sale of course) and my favorite Spanish Granita (coffee) blended with boba. Haven't had this in years and so since I was close enough to the neighborhood, I splurged...won't know when I'll be back so I had to make it worth it!
Last day of shooting for "Cheetah In August" Season 2, my first big role in a LGBTQ series which will never be forgotten. I get to play someone that most people don't see me as and for that I can't thank the creators enough for thinking outside the box. See, I didn't come in for this particular role, they just decided to read me for it and I went all out knowing it's a character I have longed to play and when most people know me, they know I am the furthest from this role but how am I ever going to get the chance to show my cool acting skills if I don't book this type of role so this part meant so much more to me, can't wait for you all to see it and see the choices I made with her cause she is nasty on the outside but there are things a brewin' underneath. We shot at Invisionate Studios in Burbank and I was there for 13 hours of back to back scenes with some down time in the middle. Such a long, hard day to stay in, stay focused but regardless of what happens on set, you must remain in until the martini shot - last shot of the night, which I was in. Meeting these beautiful people, with a story to share and allowing my work to grace their work was a beautious occasion. If this show brings more thought, more love, more discussion into the universe about life just wanting to live and be loved, I will jump up and down in pure bliss of victory...victory of just one more step towards acceptance and understanding for that is my life art goals so please keep me on track. I don't ever want to forget that I am the change...so with this project and much sadness that it has ended for now, I release this change into the universe to do it's work! Congrats "Cheetah In August" and I'll be here, ready for Season 3 if you'll have me!!! Stay tuned and again, you can join us for the 1st episode showing on Sept. 30th, Downtown, Los Angeles with some free tickets left, get 'em while you can - http://cia2.bpt.me/
Our bodies are different, our work is unique and our message is us so I'm hoping you're still keeping up with your health. Listen, I won't be a skinny, mini because that's not my body build and I've had to fight for letting people just be surprised that I can kick that high, hit that hard and float my way to show this industry as well as fitness peeps that body sizes don't matter, strength and health does. Skinny never equaled fearlessness nor perserverance and when you've had to fight to stay within some bounds all your life, you'll always remain healthy so understand your fighting for your well being today isn't for anyone else but you. When you feel great, your work shines and you have less space for self deprecation, you know you're doing your best by eating well and pushing your physical, not to say you don't cheat but it's within a balance and that is all that matters. Do I wish I was skinny...yeah, sometimes...this business is built on thinking that is what looks good but there is no way at stopping my work including my skills set as a martial artist. If you're doing all you can, do not let anyone tell you're that you're not enough, you're not star material that you don't look the part. If you work hard at your craft in all aspects, they will learn to rearrange because there will come a point and time where your art/self is undeniable in the room and you won't have to be anyone else but yourself. Listen, I've slowly changed my eating habits, less meat, more veggies, little dairy but through these changes I've seen little to no change in my body frame so I know unless I really go all out and that time will come, my body comes as is and they can take it or leave it. I just started running again and put that in my schedule for quick days at 15 minutes around my area and I sweat it out, even if it's just for a moment, one foot in front of the other giving my body another push in something I don't always do. Once you accept yourself, they will accept you...keep going for it all!
It's fam bam reunion time on my beast's side up in the Bay area for some good times with good peeps. From the bridge to the zoo to good eats, I had time to read the upcoming script to "Trouble Creek County" before the read this Saturday on the plane up and started to memorize lines on the trip back. No trip goes without my art usually and I wouldn't have it any other way. As difficult as it is to hang out with folks I don't know, I love hanging with the folks that I do...it's the introvert in me and I actually had to take a full day home in jammies just to get over my overwhelmed self once I got back. Hanging with the kiddos, getting some extra love from Pi and meeting the new folks of this wonderful extended family that has loved me with open arms...as much as I have felt alone for years, it's times like this that I realize how good family away from family is. I've only had my family for years as we moved about and to have an extension of the one I've been born into has been such a wonderful experience because it's a place I feel safe...with being myself, with sharing my art and being truly loved. I didn't meet everyone because it isn't my being to invite everyone in, but I met a few more and that is enough. I get anxious, nervous and jolted by change but being with a beast who understands my quirks has been my lifeline into continuing this journey of my work has made moments like these bareable. I couldn't have made it without the people that I have surrounding me...the times I felt alone when the internet did it's number on me to make me feel less than, my beast was around to ground me into strength. Who you allow into your sphere, your life is just as important as what you put out. Don't be fooled by people disguising themselves as friends that are around to weaken your dissolve, you as an artist need an army behind you that have seen your work, support your art and can tell you the truth when you're outside yourself but that comes with trust. As many times as I was going to walk away, I had a beast that viewed my work and knew I was one of the best and told me so but doesn't let me slide on my comfortable ways either...I've got my closies as well, that cheer me on in everything...find your family...find your tribe and don't let them go...you will need them and they need to be on your side. Fill your well with love, life and art and let nothing get in your way! 
Still enjoying food and interesting food spots, finding a Korean joint built in a garage and some good ole bread pudding with whiskey sauce, I allow my taste buds to discover interesting textures and find comfort in the old. Sometimes I celebrate at home with my own dish of Bi-bim-gook-su to in house made coffee ice cream sammiches down the street from a theatre I hope to perform at in the near future, all in all I find the art in everything and so I consume it whenever possible. Enjoy life, enjoy those moments of whatever happiness is for you but you've got to do it now. Don't let all the adulting get into your way of living your life full of joy, we play like kids, we celebrate like adults. The more I appreciate what I do, the more I see the universe gives it back, don't short cut yo'self. We're taught to celebrate in the big accomplishments but it's the small dedications that bring you to that beautiful moment, so here's to margaritas inside, no margaritas outside...ENJOY!And as always...
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