To go or not to go was the question which I answered by going only to be answered with a lot of stress which one must learn as an actor to contain. I rarely post anything negative, not because negatives don't happen, I just don't want to breathe any more life into them than what is already given. I like to look at the glass as half full and I always will because I've noticed my soul is generally more happy when I do. I've been booked for a couple of weeks for a couple of days to finish up my voice over work on my hush-hush project which is paying quite well. I don't know if there was a breakdown in communication between my agents but I also got an audition for the 2nd day of my session for the Young and the Restless. I decided to accept although I reminded my agency of the time I was suppose to be at my booked job but let them know I'd go at least an hour early just to play it safe. I arrived an hour early...I was the first...they hadn't even started so I sat hoping I'd get call in eventually. Eventually turned into the latter and I was sweating bullets sending messages all over to everyone stating how sorry I was but letting them know my current situation. Of course I'm there early, of course it doesn't start early, in fact it starts 10 minutes late and I've been there for too long to just leave now, so I wait and go in first. It took everything in me to calm my nerves, leave it all out there and just do my read...it came out beautifully thank goodness and casting stated it was perfect the first time, no need to do it again. I raced my booty to the bathroom and across the lot and began my 35 minute drive to my voice over session that began at 3p, in which now with navigation I was told I'd be there at 4:03p. I sent a few more texts, let my agent know and I booked it in Hollywood traffic at 3:30p, URGGHHHHHH. I had to call my beast to calm my nerves...I was so angry with myself, with my agency, with this traffic but took responsibility for the situation at hand but I had to VENT. My beast listened as I blamed it all, including myself on the predicament I had put myself into but I had to lay blame on my agency as well since I would've never known about the audition had I not gotten the audition because my agency knew I was booked at the exact same time. Although I had let them know I was booked for work, I didn't press them either...I should've made them call the casting office to see if they could definitely see me sooner, even if it was 15 minutes earlier but I stated I would just go early. If I wasn't submitted, who knows how long before I got an audition with this casting office so I understood, I just didn't handle it well...it had been too long since a soap opera audition came my way and this office needed to know me, so I didn't set off any alarms by being pushy. I get my agency's position and although angered at the time, now with a week to return to the norm, I'm glad they did it but I wish they had offered immediately to take care of the situation. I blame myself for wanting the audition so badly, I didn't say no upfront. I should've been the responsible artist and stated I was already booked and to change the times but I didn't because I wanted to be seen. However, now I am causing waves with my booked job, so no good for my reputation and I take my reputation very highly, it's all I've got in this business...being a professional. My beast offered solutions which is why when I'm upset, I lean on his goodness. He let me vent, he checked it once I seemed to be over the initial wave and told me to get it outta my mind to let it all go because what is done, is done. I was where I was at now and I had to make the most of it. He then gave me some solutions according to my personality, which is why I call when I'm stressed and not thinking clearly, I need his open eyes and calming voice on my current situation. After giving me choices, he asked what I was going to do about it because he knew I was going to do something about this mess, I just needed to be guided out of my red zone and into the happy "Leilani" again. I focused on getting to my session as quickly as possible, going in set and ready to go with all this stress pushed aside for now and apologizing profusely while offering a few round of drinks on me at their choosing...all of which I did. I took responsibility for my actions, I thanked them for their time and went into the booth with razor sharp focus ready to slay it all...and slay I did. I honed into my work and within the 3 hours without going over a minute more, but actually finishing early, I delivered...I was distraught all the way through but the director guided me and my passion of what I was doing, finished it off. What was set for a 4 hour job was punched into 3 and I couldn't be more happy with my art. They all took a rain check on the drinks but I figured I'd either come bearing gifts the next time or force them all out. They were just as confident in me and I couldn't be more grateful but I'd never put myself in that position again with out finding out all options available to me. I will make waves, I will ask questions and I will do my best to get it right the next time. I was upset my agency submitted me but I understood, I was annoyed they didn't call and try to make changes but I should've demanded that and I was angry for putting myself in this position but I'm glad I felt what this problem could bring. Even through the stress, I had a wonderful audition and a fantastic voice over session...glad I was able to do both and thank goodness for already setting up a standard on my work with these good people that trusted that I would deliver. Happiness now, that I got this lesson in dealing with this situation because just when you think you got it, you learn that you don't and you grow and growing is always good!!! If you set a precedent on being professional, when things go awry, people will trust you and give you a pass because we all make mistakes, we're human but you as an artist must set that standard up so there is no question in their minds, that you can do the job regardless of what happens. Show up and show out every chance you get...
The last 2 days of voice overs on my hush-hush project has come and gone with ease, stress and much love for the experience. 4 to 8 hours in a booth for a few days, hearing your voice is disorienting to say the least and to try to capture moments of truth through the process is an art form. I imagined being in certain scenarios with no reference points but you let your imagination fly and you keep on soaring until you hear that voice come back to you telling you they got it. So many words and I am thankful for being a book worm when I was younger, I am thankful for always daydreaming ( although yelled at about it ) and I am thankful I've always taken my craft seriously. I never trained for this, but I was prepared through my sheer determination of wanting to create art always and this is what saved me when things went wrong. Don't take your training for granted, what you do in classes and on stage will define you as an artist. We want to work now but sometimes the universe takes it's time with that process and you must keep at it until it's your time because when the spotlight turns to you, not only do you shine for that moment, you get to be proud of your work. When madness, mayhem and chaos hits your space, training will center and squash it all - keep focused on what's important my beautiful creatures - YOUR ART!!!!Officially celebrating with whiskey because I'm a whiskey gal now...CHEERS to us and all that is in us to push through! MUAH ( and thank goodness for jobs that pay well so we can celebrate right every now and then.... )
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