The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 13 ( Auditions #17 )

Commercial Print job audition wonderfulness, not because it's print ( can't stand modelling but dammit, the pay is outstanding for the most part ) but it was the who that called me in that got me floating! No sides because it's print and although it's in the dreaded Santa Monica region, I would drive wherever to see this casting director. WHY? Because when I was just starting in the biz, once he called me in, he always called me in...he was pretty accepting of crashers ( people with no auditions that had heard they may be the type from other friends and crashed the audition ) as long as it wasn't a time crunch for the most part. I think that may have been the very way I finally got into his office and although I never booked a damn commercial ( told you I was cursed in this genre for some reason ) he constantly called me in anyway. I dressed as a nurse, hair pulled up with light make up and I was off wondering if he even remembered me and honestly couldn't wait to see him again. I arrived just a tad late with parking being nearly impossible off Wilshire and driving around the no parking neighborhood in circles looking for anything anywhere and wanting to turn back and go home. Finally a metered spot opened and I raced in to just a few other actors in the waiting room for this particular job. Usually it is madness and mayhem for these types of jobs but usually when handled by a professional cd, things are very different including wait times etc. When he came out to call out names and group us in 3's ( doctor, nurse, patient, ) I was in group 3 with it moving quickly. He came over immediately to hug, say hi and to catch up...that old school feeling of knowing another person on a different level in a business that has grown and changed from headshots and resumes meaning something to popularity/social media wins. He hung out until I was up and then he returned to the room to watch my bit. Although it was print, they wanted to see the movements via camera and gave us marks to hit with openness to improv since there was no script. You never know when this type of training will come up and this is why auditioning for different roles and taking classes are important, coming up with some medical jargon was at the tip of my tongue as well as knowing the tone of the bit. I could tell the older, Asian gentleman who really did look like a doctor was a bit new to it all and I paid close attention to his slate and his body movements because since he was in the scene with me, I knew I was going to have to interact with him. He was given the option to use props ( like a clip board, pen, stethoscope - side note: if you've never used props in a scene and you're just not quite comfortable, opt out - it's okay...) I came in, hit my mark, chatted with the patient about how he was feeling and the food he had for lunch ( something I listened to plenty of times watching my Appa in the hospital ) but when it was the doctor's turn, he completely forgot to hug the chair/bed of the patient and now I'm in his shot. Being aware and being a giving actor is essential, I understood he totally forgot so I tried my hardest to stay tucked in and ducking for the most part so he could be seen and turning to him during the shot to open the camera up. We finally got our cue line, I made my move that I had already asked would be okay to do from the other side of the bed and watched the "doctor" now fumble with his props...he had no idea what to do with it and he just stood there blankly like a deer caught in headlights. Yes, I jumped in, stated "I'll take those doctor and are we ready now?" It still took him a moment to realize all that was happening and stated he wasn't ready yet in which I almost broke out of character and started laughing but quickly told him it was time to go....HA!!! Even Craig laughed pleasantly telling me it was such a good save as he introduced me to the camera man and I was out the door. Next time I'll ask for a picture, it's not every day I get a casting director who remembers me always smiling...even when I was crashing!!! Moments like these let me know it's worth it and to hang in....

Got my umma for a whole 3 weeks of goodness and between seeing family, arting, working out and getting her first professional shoot in, I realized how absolutely wonderful it was to have her around which in turned meant my Appa was! I was actually happy for hardly any calls for auditions except for self tapes and maybe a couple out and abouts which made for such a soaking up moments with my umma so very special! Fill the well, filling the well and letting it overflow with so much goodness my heart can go on...because now my umma is expecting greatness, now she's cheering me on and now she wants me to be as happy/successful as my Appa always wished but she gets to see this if I stay in...if I stay focused...if I push forward. As artists we can be so sensitive that even the strongest will question whether or not they are on the right path as they question life and deaths. How do I best celebrate a man that was my biggest fan? Having my umma around, put it all in perspective once again...I AM WHERE I SHOULD BE, DOING EXACTLY WHAT I SHOULD BE AND BEING WHO I SHOULD BE! I almost broke her with all the activities but she went home full and exhausted...she can sleep now!!! One of her biggest dreams was to get a professional shoot done with my Appa in her hangbok which never happened and realizing I had my own of 10 years that hadn't been worn gave me the inspiration to get some traditional pictures done with her. The absolute joy of seeing her face made up, to her first pictures shot, to our photos together filled me with so much love that I must keep at my purpose...to make moments like this happen in the future. Thank goodness for the people in my life/tribe like http://www.quainphoto.com/ who has always pretty much kept me in the acting game and the fabulous make-up artist http://www.danielchinchilla.com/ who I wait for to do my face whenever he's in town and free from Ariana Grande and such... I wasn't planning on doing some headshots myself but when the dream team is together, you take advantage!!! Whatever, whomever fills your well of inspiration, allow time to get it all in. We give and we give and we give as artists, facing rejections, avails, close calls and our eyes of "failures." So don't forget to smell the roses, see beauty in life, spend time with the ones you love and eat wonderfully because you can and this will give you the stamina to take on the negatives so that you may finally enjoy the positives more!!!!  

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 12 ( Audition #15 & #16 )

I ain't gonna lie...but last minute auditions with a note stating it'll be a cold read gets me on edge especially when it's the next day! I'm happy because it isn't something I have to give my time to at the moment but I think about all the what could go wrongs for the next day. Give me improv dammit or a small scene with room to improv, but the whole cold reading is for the birds, especially when life is full with other things needing your attention...like your mom being home for 3 weeks of bliss! Thank goodness she's around, she makes my soul happy and my mind back to purpose but I still get nonsense as auditions at times. This proved to be no different...I'm on time to a room full of people, stacked and packed. I go sign in and there are some sides available and grab my role and the printing is super itty bitty for the cherry on top, literally like theatre sides but that you usually get to print up and have at least 3-5 days with. The scene is semi-short to say the least but now it's the waiting game and memorizing ( who cares now ) as I'm bunched up, hunched over trying to make out lines. Some people love this...I AM NOT ONE because I do find it a bit disrespectful of an artist and their time. I held my displeasure in because the drive was already an hour to be there but now because of the late afternoon call, I'll be stuck in traffic all the way back as well. I love this business, I just don't care for the treatment of most struggling thespians as they plod their way in order to make their dreams come true. Luckily I saw a familiar face from my Lifebook training days and was happy to take a quick photo with the wonderful actor Robert who brightened up my time by taking some quick picks! He had been there almost 40 minutes and was in need to get out of there to work as they called him in...I glanced at my sides not caring really once again. I'll be a professional but this was definitely a test of me not showing too much disgust as I dealt with how hypocritical this work can be. If I'm late, I may very well be out of an audition as I have been in the past once which was out of my control in ways but we're expected to wait around to be in a room for 2 hours when it's their turn. This is when you make your choices, I had already taken time out of my day, driven to this location and since I was there, I was going to at least go in so I sat letting my wonderful photo shoot with my umma surround me into peace. About an hour I get in and now they're like what role did you get asked to read? After stating, they were like hmmmmm and I'm like "Look, I can do these or another on a super cold read but it's going to be now, I don't really care." I may have come off a bit snippy but I wasn't leaving the room after an hour wait for a cold read...did a solid read and left up outta there thankful to be gone from this kind of energy and madness. Hold it together around the audition folks, I just happened to use some of my frustration for the scene but not at the people around. Use your frustration in the work, we all get there but to show it towards casting or others is exactly how some people treat you in this business so if you don't like that sort of energy, no matter the situation, try not to put it out into the universe as well, don't perpetuate negativity even if it feels like it calls for it in this line of work if it's unnecessary - you'll know when to use it, save it for those battles. However, for the pay, I already knew the headache wasn't worth it and I let it go as I sailed into an hour and 10 minutes more of traffic home! Lucky for me, it was a dinner/movie night with my favorite peeps celebrating me & my umma's first professional photos together and her being surrounded by love as my Appa watched from above. These are the moments worth cherishing....don't forget what's really important in life...LOVE because auditions come and go, let them be!

This was the day of "not so thrilled" auditions and that's okay. Sometimes you decide to do them and other times you can disregard and although I was already dealing with the ridiculousness of said above audition, I decided to run the quick scene of a short film that I felt wasn't honestly something I was totally in to. It was for a dancer/stripper type role, older and the breakdown seemed like it could be different with the right person and even though the description read like the typical bikini facet, I had answered saying I would be more interested if they were open to maybe a more dominatrix type of look for the character. Something more than the typical idea of whatever these people were looking for, I was answered for a request to tape so I decided why not...until I saw the sides and disappointment set in. It is what it is in this business and I do try to keep an open mind, not everything will be a "Leaving Las Vegas" in this genre but you've gotta submit and stay in to find out, especially in this short film/indie fest part of movie making. Instead of dropping it, I decided why not just do it and put something into it since it was truly a "nothing going on" kinda scene. Create in these non-inspirational moments of what you may see, yes, it will probably be looked over because someone in a bikini is auditioning right now, bent over and mumbling their lines without a care and if that's not what you want to do, DON'T!!! Change the narrative to fit your truth and comfort, forget about the page and you'll start seeing this process as adventurous, even during the times of lull. I usually don't get a call back on these things but I love my function as an artist to see it differently and lay it out to them. If they take it, WAHOO and lucky for them but if not...what ever, I just got to put something together I'm more willing to be a part of. Brick by brick my arties, create your space...will you lose jobs - YES! Will you see your path more clearly and gain trust in your individual work - INDEEDY...and that's what this is all about, having this world see you for all that you are and all that you've got to offer that is uniquely YOU!!!

When drained of focus and push, always look to fellow artists, arts and anything else that can help you keep going because that is the name of the game. Too many gifted people give up every year because it's draining doing what you're doing and feeling like results are far and few in between. How do you stay inspired? By appreciating all the other works of art that surrounds you that struggles to survive...

Read a wonderful book written by a super cool, friend that I put on my Christmas wish list because every year, I try to figure out how to support an artist I know or an artist selling things out and about and appreciate the value of their work while they're living. I can't do it as frequently as I'd like for now, but one day, I'll be able to just have a room full of artist's work that are living and somehow I feel connected to. "The Escape Artists" by Chris Wallace was absolutely wonderful and so human in seeing 2 sides of a connected story at the same time. Perspective gains me additional layers into my character builds and reading this story to see someone else's view on what's happening at the same time has always been my learning goal. To be an actor you must react, but if you're not listening, how can you respond and why is our human condition only to see our way as the only way? Books like this will open those eyes to seeing hurt, pain and love in a different view because you're reading the other side of the story immediately. With tears in my eyes as I turned a many of pages, I was enthralled at our humanness that seems to either bring things together or pull them apart but it is through our miscommunication and choices that do so. Clarifying is work, saying what we want to say is easy...that's layered work folks. Don't dismiss other works of art because you're a bit jealous of someone else's tenacity to keep afloat...support as you can and you may grow as an artist yourself and be inspired in ways to keep you going...to stay afloat. Wonderfully poignant and thought provoking, don't sleep on this fantastic book about 2 people, their lives connected and their loss that drives them. Read, watch, eat and dance art....this keeps you going and going you must!!!!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 10 & 11 ( Auditions #13 & #14 )


How do you keep yourself in this game? When instagram/YouTube followers are more important than having honed into your craft? When you're told that tweeting is the new "networking?" On top of being told you're too old, too colored, too woman, too big, too tall, not black enough, not the look of Asians, too eccentric, too good, too experienced ( whatever does that even mean , ) not exposed enough etc., etc., etc... YOU MUST, you absolutely must be willing to jump ship, flow on, take your career into your own hands, stop listening, remake and be open to doing the small stuff. I was told many "negative/realistic" things about myself and my career path from this moment on and I gave my middle fingers taking what I needed then discarding the crap. Who knew even a few years ago, I'd be trying my way through voice over auditions as well...yes, it was always on the back of my mind but how? I just went with the flow and when I booked the VR game "Arch Angel" last year, my agent decided to reopen her voice over part of the agency shortly there after and I jumped in with no experience except that I'm an actress. Lucky for me, my agent signed me by seeing my work without me even knowing she was an agent watching me. I love that she's a soft spoken woman but firm and picked me because of my acting alone, not my looks so although I go through times of not booking, she knows eventually I will! In her eyes, I'm a well trained actress not seen yet but once that time comes, it won't be a hard sell...this relationship was something I've always dreamed of having with my team. Looks fade, skills do not, time changes and I still grow, get better...that is the only thing that matters to us, so I stay afloat until it's my time. I take the smaller jobs to stay on everyone's radar for the auditions of bigger roles. So give me that short film, web series, theatre production at a reputable house and indies to develop relationships based on my work. Forget about the big pay day, that'll keep you trapped into thinking and having tunnel vision, be open to submitting away and auditioning some then maybe booking interesting things. I only get annoyed at cattle calls, other than that, a little money and a great project goes a long way and you as a struggling artist must be open to that. It'll keep you working - doing something you love as you shuffle your way through this business. If I become a voice over artist ( no makeup, chill clothes, I can have bed hair ) making a living in this industry and no one knows my face...SUPER FANTASTIC, I've got no pretense on what "famous" should be except happy and able to live doing what I love. Red Carpets? No Carpets here, just working actress...change that mindset and get some work, you deserve it and these social media pop up stars can only do so much, be the next choice by being around to give them that!!!


It's that time of slow down, pilot season is pretty much out except for a few stragglers so I'm thankful  to be seen in another new office, hopefully to make some more fans!!! This role was for a more harder/edgier type so I had my hair in braids from a wash and decided that was going to be the look, small tight high bun with 2 braids near my face and on my neck dangling. Layered look and black boots only to be complimented on how comfortable/cute I was - ha, ha, ha! Although I had the weekend, it was a heavy work time and I didn't get to feel as comfortable off the page but I knew who this person was for me. I went in and because the room was so warm and inviting immediately, we chatted about my "cute" clothing setting the tone of ease. Of course I lost my focus but I stopped the take quickly and asked to restart in which I was given a note and ran with it. ( Do this whenever you must, it's your audition, take control - no need to go crazy but feel like you can stop and start over if needed - then let them have it! ) 2nd time, no stops and great timing I had envisioned in the first place and I was outta there crossing fingers to be called in again...just keep 'em coming please!!! We all get nervous, have butterflies, get a weird start and know it's okay that you weren't on point at "ACTION!" Take a moment to collect yourself, get back into the game, make no excuses, don't explain, just ask to restart and shine...that's professional!

"Raisin In The Sun" officially closed and lucky for me I didn't have to go up once as the understudy although paid. I'm so glad I accepted the job under the challenge of losing my Appa and being out of town but knowing my art could've handled all of it under this type of pressure. Being a stand in years ago has taught me the importance of hitting the mark, paying attention to someone else for lighting and understanding the importance of it all. Don't knock a job you've got now because it doesn't seem to have the shine you wish for the moment, if it teaches you how to do something in a profession you're seeking, use it, use every last bit of it because it does come in handy eventually and people do take notice. I was referred for this job because the directors I've worked for in the past, noticed my meticulous view on where I needed to be on the stage once given my directions. I will correct someone that has told me to stand somewhere and then ask me why I'm there now...don't play, I already wrote it down, I know where I'm suppose to be - HA! I've always wanted to be in this production and I'm sure I'll get my opportunity soon enough, lucky for me, I'm all memorized up for the most part so I'll have a whole leg up when the time comes. Gotta love being prepped for opportunity...go on, fill your plate and watch your art take ova!!!!