The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 12 ( Audition #15 & #16 )

I ain't gonna lie...but last minute auditions with a note stating it'll be a cold read gets me on edge especially when it's the next day! I'm happy because it isn't something I have to give my time to at the moment but I think about all the what could go wrongs for the next day. Give me improv dammit or a small scene with room to improv, but the whole cold reading is for the birds, especially when life is full with other things needing your attention...like your mom being home for 3 weeks of bliss! Thank goodness she's around, she makes my soul happy and my mind back to purpose but I still get nonsense as auditions at times. This proved to be no different...I'm on time to a room full of people, stacked and packed. I go sign in and there are some sides available and grab my role and the printing is super itty bitty for the cherry on top, literally like theatre sides but that you usually get to print up and have at least 3-5 days with. The scene is semi-short to say the least but now it's the waiting game and memorizing ( who cares now ) as I'm bunched up, hunched over trying to make out lines. Some people love this...I AM NOT ONE because I do find it a bit disrespectful of an artist and their time. I held my displeasure in because the drive was already an hour to be there but now because of the late afternoon call, I'll be stuck in traffic all the way back as well. I love this business, I just don't care for the treatment of most struggling thespians as they plod their way in order to make their dreams come true. Luckily I saw a familiar face from my Lifebook training days and was happy to take a quick photo with the wonderful actor Robert who brightened up my time by taking some quick picks! He had been there almost 40 minutes and was in need to get out of there to work as they called him in...I glanced at my sides not caring really once again. I'll be a professional but this was definitely a test of me not showing too much disgust as I dealt with how hypocritical this work can be. If I'm late, I may very well be out of an audition as I have been in the past once which was out of my control in ways but we're expected to wait around to be in a room for 2 hours when it's their turn. This is when you make your choices, I had already taken time out of my day, driven to this location and since I was there, I was going to at least go in so I sat letting my wonderful photo shoot with my umma surround me into peace. About an hour I get in and now they're like what role did you get asked to read? After stating, they were like hmmmmm and I'm like "Look, I can do these or another on a super cold read but it's going to be now, I don't really care." I may have come off a bit snippy but I wasn't leaving the room after an hour wait for a cold read...did a solid read and left up outta there thankful to be gone from this kind of energy and madness. Hold it together around the audition folks, I just happened to use some of my frustration for the scene but not at the people around. Use your frustration in the work, we all get there but to show it towards casting or others is exactly how some people treat you in this business so if you don't like that sort of energy, no matter the situation, try not to put it out into the universe as well, don't perpetuate negativity even if it feels like it calls for it in this line of work if it's unnecessary - you'll know when to use it, save it for those battles. However, for the pay, I already knew the headache wasn't worth it and I let it go as I sailed into an hour and 10 minutes more of traffic home! Lucky for me, it was a dinner/movie night with my favorite peeps celebrating me & my umma's first professional photos together and her being surrounded by love as my Appa watched from above. These are the moments worth cherishing....don't forget what's really important in life...LOVE because auditions come and go, let them be!

This was the day of "not so thrilled" auditions and that's okay. Sometimes you decide to do them and other times you can disregard and although I was already dealing with the ridiculousness of said above audition, I decided to run the quick scene of a short film that I felt wasn't honestly something I was totally in to. It was for a dancer/stripper type role, older and the breakdown seemed like it could be different with the right person and even though the description read like the typical bikini facet, I had answered saying I would be more interested if they were open to maybe a more dominatrix type of look for the character. Something more than the typical idea of whatever these people were looking for, I was answered for a request to tape so I decided why not...until I saw the sides and disappointment set in. It is what it is in this business and I do try to keep an open mind, not everything will be a "Leaving Las Vegas" in this genre but you've gotta submit and stay in to find out, especially in this short film/indie fest part of movie making. Instead of dropping it, I decided why not just do it and put something into it since it was truly a "nothing going on" kinda scene. Create in these non-inspirational moments of what you may see, yes, it will probably be looked over because someone in a bikini is auditioning right now, bent over and mumbling their lines without a care and if that's not what you want to do, DON'T!!! Change the narrative to fit your truth and comfort, forget about the page and you'll start seeing this process as adventurous, even during the times of lull. I usually don't get a call back on these things but I love my function as an artist to see it differently and lay it out to them. If they take it, WAHOO and lucky for them but if not...what ever, I just got to put something together I'm more willing to be a part of. Brick by brick my arties, create your space...will you lose jobs - YES! Will you see your path more clearly and gain trust in your individual work - INDEEDY...and that's what this is all about, having this world see you for all that you are and all that you've got to offer that is uniquely YOU!!!

When drained of focus and push, always look to fellow artists, arts and anything else that can help you keep going because that is the name of the game. Too many gifted people give up every year because it's draining doing what you're doing and feeling like results are far and few in between. How do you stay inspired? By appreciating all the other works of art that surrounds you that struggles to survive...

Read a wonderful book written by a super cool, friend that I put on my Christmas wish list because every year, I try to figure out how to support an artist I know or an artist selling things out and about and appreciate the value of their work while they're living. I can't do it as frequently as I'd like for now, but one day, I'll be able to just have a room full of artist's work that are living and somehow I feel connected to. "The Escape Artists" by Chris Wallace was absolutely wonderful and so human in seeing 2 sides of a connected story at the same time. Perspective gains me additional layers into my character builds and reading this story to see someone else's view on what's happening at the same time has always been my learning goal. To be an actor you must react, but if you're not listening, how can you respond and why is our human condition only to see our way as the only way? Books like this will open those eyes to seeing hurt, pain and love in a different view because you're reading the other side of the story immediately. With tears in my eyes as I turned a many of pages, I was enthralled at our humanness that seems to either bring things together or pull them apart but it is through our miscommunication and choices that do so. Clarifying is work, saying what we want to say is easy...that's layered work folks. Don't dismiss other works of art because you're a bit jealous of someone else's tenacity to keep afloat...support as you can and you may grow as an artist yourself and be inspired in ways to keep you going...to stay afloat. Wonderfully poignant and thought provoking, don't sleep on this fantastic book about 2 people, their lives connected and their loss that drives them. Read, watch, eat and dance art....this keeps you going and going you must!!!!