You as an artist have got put yourself out there by putting yourself out there. If you're not trying, then you're not doing and if you're not doing, then not only are you depriving yourself of your purpose but you are depriving the universe of your gift. People love to poo-poo on the idea of being a creative, thinking it's easy...fun...not a job not realizing the countless sacrifices one must make in order to just survive. Creating takes years of work, critiques at your most vulnerable and listening as everyone tells you no to hear that one YES! So why are you waiting? Who do you think is going to "discover" you? Are you expecting a part to drop out of the sky? Yes there are the rare unicorns but for the most of us, we're in the daily struggle to be given the opportunity just to be seen and with that comes much responsibility not to be taken lightly. There are resources at your fingertips and you must figure out how to get on them and use them...casting sites that you submit on for yourself while waiting for your agent or in the search of one if particularly handy but you must be constant in those submissions. Like your manager/agent submitting you, you must submit you...it's the only way to survive. It's a job in and of itself but again, this is show business yes? I'm even learning to get over this idea of words for casting...if I see "Brunette," then I'm submitting if the role fits me to a tee, the same goes for Asian. Yes, I do leave a note sometimes explaining if they are open to my type or that I'm half Korean and it's been rare to be called in for it but every once in awhile it happens. Then I give them an opportunity to see it differently, it may not work, their choices are their choices but it's another room I get to walk into and maybe have them rethink their choices next time. Take advantage of momentum, ever since "Get Out" became a success, more horror films are open to seeing more POC and although I've always submitted to this genre if the role seemed more in depth, I've gotten more calls lately. Yes, there were still very few black women, ( can count on one hand, as one of them leaving so I'm not sure ) several Hispanics, a couple of Asians and would've loved to have seen American Indian as well as Indians and still the fair amount of Caucasian women but slowly I see the idea that they'll at least audition others as well and that's the fight we gotta keep at. The only way to do so is to make your presence present at every given opportunity...submit away and see what may come but do your part in making them think outside the box, at least make them go through your submissions because the more they see that, the more it'll become the norm and instead of it being this floating idea, it is now in their faces. Of course I don't submit to anything I honestly don't believe I'm a match for, but for the most part, this fight is my daily routine, so get in there and get them moving so we can all be given a moment to be seen! Mo' horror, mo' thrillers, mo' action - mo' all of it!!!
Last year I missed my yearly cleansing which I have done for over 18+ now because of a series of events including my Appa passing. I don't partake in fast foods for the most part besides a Del Taco bean burrito and fries every now and then but I still know I need to clean out my system regardless because I view my body like a car that needs an oil change/regular maintenance to run efficiently. So now that I'm getting back into my rhythm, I decided to take it very seriously because of the pain I have dealt with along with the anger towards some "family" during this trying time. 1st week - juices by me, juices bought ( mostly ACV based, ) snacks, with light lunches and regular dinners, vegan/vegetarian only. 2nd week - juices by me, smoothies and juices bought for lunch with a full dinner, vegan only...so much goodness but now the work begins of 2 whole weeks, maybe a little less pending on how much I drink, of just the raw, green sugar water ( the right sugar stuff for our system, ) cayenne, lemon/limes - the Master Cleanser as it should be. Pretty much bought everything on sale from different sources to keep the price of 2 weeks full of juices along with my 2 weeks of the cleanse ( one whole month of juices for 3 weeks of groceries ) at $260 and it can be done, you gotta get resourceful with the shopping. We hold things in our system and body because of the stress and pain we don't release, making our well being off kilter and sick. Most of us eat pretty good and yet sickness is constant. My dad having a rare blood disease develop in his late 60's and his diet consisted of lots of home grown veggies from their garden along with working in the yard. I would argue of some of the chemicals he used like Round Up etc and his daily intake of small amounts of meat. It didn't help that he worked on the fuel engines of planes for the Air Force but relatively, he took good care of himself although to my chagrin, he never cleansed and would scoff at my push for his attention to nitrates and sugars added to foods. He ate some fast foods/dairy but for the most part was what we would all call average health conscious and yet this disease which stumped doctors just came about. Instead of trying to listen to me about food intake and cleansing which was a big thing with most people suffering from the disease made manageable and lived via their website, he only focused on the doctors. He took his gall bladder out first ( much to my protest, ) then they realized the disease after. His body kept deteriorating with all their recommendations of Boost/Ensure/sugary products they pushed and my folks went all in although I tried to convince them of options. Why ulcers? Why most cancers? Why most unexplainable diseases that grow by some chance in some of our systems with no explanations and why aren't we more aware of being preventative instead of reactionary? It's a hippie thing? REALLY?!?! Taking care of oneself before sickness arises is too "out there?" Why do we wait? What opinion have we heard that has stopped us from really researching our own wellness so that we can always be at optimum speed as people are more depressed, more in pain physically and mentally, more in a state of motion instead of peace, more angry, more unaware, more sick etc, etc, etc until diagnosis. I enjoy...actually love food but I also know there are consequences to my behavior and being aware made me slowly make changes in my food consumption to my health while I was younger so it became routine step by step and not a shock factor. I'm pretty much 5 days vegan, 1 day vegetarian and 1 day cheat day for whatever my body may crave whether it be fish, meats, desserty goodness etc. now. I also learned through this process of giving up so much toxicity in my daily bread that I was also able to give it up in my personal life of boyfriends, friends and family thus healing myself into peace, happiness, love and way less drama. In the midst of my Appa leaving us, "family" made themselves known fully and during this time of celebrating him, I was also very angry. After all the years of him sending money to them ( his family, who never once sent cards or gifts or anything really ) with the help of my umma, paying every bit for his mother's funeral ( although he had plenty of siblings who of course couldn't chip in or didn't ) who would barely speak to him unless she needed something, leaving him nothing ( not even a picture ) while some "family" took over the residence and land, asking for help in money and co-signing on a car while he's sick, to still complaining about their retirement, money situation as he's dying and into his death....BROKE MY HEART! Still thinking of only themselves as he was in pain, with no one to deal with that aspect of pettiness, I made it my job for the peace of my umma. There were so many times I couldn't get help from my folks because they had already gave so much to this so called "family..." these people who never made themselves known in my life except when they needed something for the most part. Had this woman tell me to call her "AUNT" because it was respectful and she didn't like that I was responding to her by her name. I had to release her of her so called wanting of such grandeur by asking her when had she ever earned that name by me? Did she act like an aunt in my life? Did she do something for me that required such respect? I am a grown woman that has lived life and respect comes when it is earned and every single person in my life that is called more, has gained my trust by being more therefore being deserving. My younger brother who has a warped sense of his life and very victimish while causing pain constantly ( no matter how many times he was bailed out of jail or sent money consistently to help his family ), not only made my umma not want to come home after the funeral, ( which she didn't until late ) but yelled at her as well as his family and acted as if wearing my dad's oversized jacket for the funeral made him a clown instead of the honor that went with that moment, that I could only have wished I did. He decided to post on FB his one sided look of his hard life and although I said kind things at first, when his response was ridiculous and full of lies, I went in, letting him know what a massive piece of crap he was and that he had a lot of work to do to earn back any trust and respect. He has since unfriended me...good riddance until there is change. These are the things we bottle inside of us which makes us brilliant artists, misunderstood because our depths are different, but it's not helpful in our lives...great for the stage, not so good for our well being. So how do we navigate...we must say our peace when it's necessary and we must take care of ourselves by letting that negativity go. I'd rather have peace than call you "family..." because I've got a great family and an awesome tribe and that kind of sickness isn't welcomed into my sphere. So I cleanse, I cleanse this body of not only the toxicity of food I put in but of the damaging people that would only cause pain because my being is saved for my purpose and I've got enough to fight with...have them BEET IT and YOU BE ART!!!
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