The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 13 ( Audition 14 )

Another liner for a cool show that I actually watch and am a fan of but I didn't know until I arrived. I get the notification for an audition for the next day but no sides attached. I check the sides to see if it's posted and when I ask my agent, they send what they had received which stated the line will be given at the audition so of course no context, no pre-figuring out the many ways you can play, just off the cuff stuff and hey, it is what it is at this point. Know it pretty much has to do with what you look like and somewhat how you delivered the line so have as much fun as you can possibly have. Traffic is a nightmare so I arrive just in time which stresses me out but it's better than being late which is what being on time feels like to me, I race in after finding parking and there's a list of 1 guy, 3 groups of 2 gals ahead of me so I'm able to look at the line as the casting assistant is explaining the set up. I take a quick picture ( yes, ask to do that if no copy is given and you feel you may go up on a line which is easier to do at times when it's just one line and you're getting it as you audition... ) and relax saying my line over and over in my head every chance I get until I feel like it's just spilling out of me. Although the role is for a TSA agent and there's an actual note to bring a vest, I don't have quite the full get up and decide I'll head the opposite way. Olive, relaxed button down and my skinny jeans - middle of the road and pretty much acceptable in my book for most roles. I keep my hair in braids and pulled into a clean bun, this should be enough but of course I'm in the room with everyone...and I mean everyone is dressed in black slacks, black shoes, that blue type shirt I don't own and vests....some even had the gloves/radio attached. Yikers! This can work in my favor or make me look like I didn't even try...I work for the former - HA! This was a conscious decision discussed with my beast...I felt everyone would come in looking a certain particular way and since I didn't have the full get up, I would arrive on the opposite end of the rainbow. The girl I was paired up with had the black slacks and a off white button down top luckily so I didn't feel like a sore thumb, we went in together and she was asked to start first after we stood next to each other and slated. I stood off to the side listening but going over the line the way I wished for myself to say it, as she simply read the line, he asked for a bit more bite and the line read was pretty much the same but the great thing was, he understood her choice and just asked her to commit to her choice. Not everyone has to read it the same,but it's nice when the person behind the camera can understand that but of course that made my read look overdone when I went up. Although I kept it tight, he asked me to bring it down...then even stated that less was more - ha...as if I didn't know that but sometimes it's just the way it works, laugh and make it happen which is what I do. At least there were different ranges to my read so they got the fact that I was able to do whatever was needed and off I went! There are always 2 schools of thought when it comes to dressing the part, I don't believe it helps or hinders in most cases but you've gotta be confident in whatever choice you decide to make, especially if you're going against the grain. Do you...ALWAYS!


I had a reading for a film rescheduled to this past weekend which I was unable to attend because of a traditional family get together on Easter weekend plus a celebration of 1 year for our 2nd niece - Pi as we like to call her since given that nickname by her older sissy poo. These moments in life are precious, don't miss them...I get it, that audition just came in as you booked your flight, that shoot now wants to be on the exact day you leave for your vacay, that meeting now wants you on the only weekend that month you've got plans - it sucks, it happens but remember you get to decide and be happy either way. I usually try to work things out and most times they do, every now and then there is no way around it and I remind myself what's important. If it's a huge project and you're getting paid, no question but when it's workable, do your plans...rearranging your life every time isn't a guarantee that the show will go according to plan. So I'm crossing my fingers I'm not out but if I am, I send them nothing but good vibes and I understand that it just wasn't for me no matter how fantastic this role would add to my character list plus it's been floating for years now with backing finally pushing it through. I can only hope to get to play this Somalian mom of FGM so off I go to focus on my dialect because you just never know...but I'm really glad I got to spend some much needed time with my other family because I wish my folks lived closer and I miss them terribly. So fun times with family was had and I got my egg hunt on...yay to life's moments!

Also found out besides just being Black and Korean, that not only am I 45% Nigerian, I'm 30% Japanese, 20% Chinese ( NO KOREAN DNA, ) 6 % Eskimo/Inuit and 4% other stemming in the Middle Eastern Regions...although this comes as a shock, I am so happy to be a person of our lovely world. How can anyone be racist???? Even getting my mom to finally tell me of an "old tale" of our great, great, great, grandfather being Japanese was such a kicker since she's such a proud Korean, but I had to tell her to love the Japanese and Chinese side of our story now as well...especially since I know now! Our DNA is LOVE....let's spread that....

Although I've been out and about, I still am pushing towards a healthier body and no better way to end the ridiculous workout on the TRX which I've been privy to for over a month than by stretching. Most people hate this aspect and may even think it's a waste of time, but if you're constantly pushing your muscles with no recoup, no elongations you could be just steps away of hurting your body in a very bad way. I always try to end a full hour workout with some vibration plate time and then 30 minutes of stretching with this very ouchy wall, gravity split stretch I do for 5 minutes at the end of it all. What a way to go to the steam room and I've always had less injuries than most of my counterparts because of this ritual. Don't skip the stretching folks, it's always the little things that keep you in tip top wellness - MUAH my arties, go out and keep gettin' 'em with your mind, body and soul!!!!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 12 ( Audition 13 )

Wow, wow, wee, wow to my 2nd commercial audition of the year and trust me when I say I couldn't be more ecstatic. I stated before and I'll state it again, I just can't seem to find my footing in the commercial world and it's not the lack of trying - commercial agents have been baffled at this paradox as well. Maybe there is a certain "screw you" vibe in my commercial shots since it seems like for years, getting called in were little baby miracles! No matter what agency or if I was submitting myself, for me, commercial auditions are truly a blue moon occasion and if you think it's you or only you...it's not. I just can't seem to break into this lucrative genre so I've placed my sights elsewhere hoping it'll come. Remember when I say, everyone has a niche? You just gotta find yours and hone in - still see everything out there but understanding your work and fighting for it is all you can do. For some reason the commercial world doesn't get me nor wants me there and I'm okay with that but I'm not going to not still try. Now getting one, two or three commercial auditions a year is killer because I feel for commercials especially, it's a numbers game and the more you go the easier the process is. You can say that about film/tv/stage auditions but since you usually focus on these, most of the time you're ready to go when asked and you pretty much know what's going to happen in the room. Commercials can just be you walking in, showing profiles saying your name with a smile and then exiting, sometimes there's improv, sometimes there's action like skipping across the room - it's weird and can leave you perplexed but the more it happens the easier it feels to have this kinda "up in the air/whatever can go" a part of your being. It's not a part of mine but this audition had dialogue, so this is a strong suit and therefore I clung to that aspect for dear life. First take went smoothly and I was able to get through all the lines without messing up or feeling off but then...the "debacle" - HA! I had just watched a gal go through her schpeel ( we were brought in 3 at a time with different pieces ) and her note was to act more involved in the beginning, make it more of a big deal so when it was my turn he just told me it was going to be that simple but obviously after reading mine, he made other plans. The night before I had read the casting notice sent to me and I noticed improv was going to be a part of it if asked so I prepped myself so when he stated he was then going to throw in a leading line and we were going to go into the work, I assumed to improv away...still in line with the script, just in my words. NOPE...that was stopped and he stated he was going to throw in improv'd lines and I was to read the script as is to make it sound more conversational. Of course, starting and stopping got me off and I stopped the take and asked for another. It's that simple guys, ask to start again, collect your thoughts, hear what was said and then move on at your pace but as quickly as you can get it. He had no problems letting me restart and I had no problems restarting but you have to feel confident in that and you have to gather it all in, push through and show that you're capable of being thrown off but still focused on getting it right. Never feel like if you're off that it's a bad thing to ask to go back to get it right and then get it so right they don't question that you asked. Know it's your right as an artist to get the take you want in the room as well. Of course, let's not make it all about you and force the issue but if you absolutely feel like it can be better, do that and do you so you can walk out of there ready to celebrate another audition well done. It may not have gone as smoothly as you had hoped, but you're proud of the work you gave! Life's short, truly realize that and enjoy your moments please, especially when you're walking along to your audition and see LOVE ( signs are everywhere ), so much LOVE - I know I'm going to, please join me! So...celebratory, lunch and lunchtime whiskey treat anyone???? Yeah...my beast knows my heart and it was the first time ever having whiskey in the afternoon - YAY to that!!!!

This month has been wonderfully hectic and I was able to get into a film of a friend, that I've known for years but never worked with nor actually been able to hang out with. Lucky for me, Eric Ramsey, the writer/director had kept an eye on me via Facebook and offered me a role in his upcoming production of "Ole B.R.Y.C.E" that I had the pleasure to shoot this past week. The wonderful aspect of this role is that although I've had the opportunity to use my southern accent on the stage in a couple of plays, I finally get it on film and for me, that is what was so fantastic about getting this role. A 70's Bama nurse named Jean Lewis and I was able to bring that accent to this role - yippeee!!! Although I had to work early in the morning that day at the bakery, I was able to rush home, get ready and race to set pretty easily which allowed less stress when the scenes came around...even got to throw some improv around. Glad I got to work on accents for the stage, constantly readjusting the sound, the tonal quality and finally having enough confidence for film. Another magical aspect was getting to work with an actress I had the pleasure of pushing a pilot years ago with that never came through - Mrs. Rhonda Morman herself and after that disappointment, we finally had some screen time together to play along with meeting and being downright nasty to the wonderful actress Riji who improv'd back at me. Nothing better than playing with people you know and getting to play with new peeps who give it back - Gimme more please!!!

The world premiere of "Trouble Creek" also happened, on the red carpet as well as YouTube and the experience of it all made me even a better business actress. I've always wanted to skip the red carpet event and even interviews, I always feel uncomfortable at these types of functions...some thrive, I feel like I wither - I don't enjoy this part of the process...playing characters on film I can handle, talking about them, I'll pass. However, this time my beast not only pushed me but I decided for myself I'd allow myself to fail miserably if that's what it took to get over this hump. Thank goodness for all the practice of talk backs in most of my plays I've been involved in...every single one, got better and I became more confident in discussing my process or what I felt the role truly meant because I began to realize someone truly wanted to know. I went to other small step and repeats and would take pictures not only out of vanity, I want to stop critiquing myself in pictures ( HA) but for my system to start getting familiar with the space. So with all that bit by bit training I was able to step up on the carpet with a different aspect and although I was scared enough to pee in my boots, I watched the gracefulness of actress Doris Morgado before me as she backed, shoulder worked it and I decided right there that I'd totally bite her move...mine looked goofier of course but I decided to throw caution to the wind and just get it, get it the best I could taking her moves I felt I could accomplish this time. While she was doing her thing, I even had to give her the props of just working that carpet like it should and I also learned this could be fun if you choose it to be so. So I laughed hard at myself, I tried and I still giggled profusely but I made it through the gauntlet unscathed except in some ego since my beast wanted to keep pointing out how I totally jacked Doris' moves - DAMMIT, I MADE THEM MY OWN....ha, ha, ha, ha!!! Learn to laugh, especially at yourself, it's a part of the journey because you don't want to be the one who takes themselves so seriously you become that person, it's unnecessary and hindering to exploring all aspects of yourself. I faltered when I chatted, I may have given away a plot point, my mouth wouldn't form the words that wanted to come out of my mouth but I did it, one step at a time and I enjoyed myself finally. I even had the chance to race across the lot and make sure to take pictures with my stand in/actress Ms. Veda who made sure I was good to go when I walked on set because she be da bees knees! It took me only a day to recover although I was still a bit out of sorts the following day as well but I finally felt like I had a good time. Learning to chat it up about your involvement in a production is a part of the process, get as much practice in now and enjoy your moment when you step into it all. I even had my first really comfortable interview a week later with one of the hosts that left me with the mic on the red carpet while he was live streaming the event to his viewers and I felt so settled. I had actually made myself go to this...I almost allowed myself to skip this just because but I really took the interview by the horns and pushed towards my fun space that was me. Do it...do it all...as much as you can when you can because practice makes better and better is all you want to achieve!

Check out the full 7 episodes on YouTube now,  ( youtube.com/troublecreek ) starting with the first one here:

If you love shorts and you're free, I'm in the Silicon Beach Film Festival in "Walk Away" done by Sue Keeton and Brian Kronenberg ( The Package ) on April 22, 2017 at 12p. and it won't disappoint. Let's keep pushin'....

The "Glamorous" Life Of Auditions - Day 11 ( Audition 12 )

Improv, improv, improv is the name of the game and there are so many variations so don't feel that you have to make it to UCB or Groundlings in order to get considered. Those affiliations look awesome on your resume but I never felt like it was my jam...maybe in some time down the line but for now, I like the improv training I received from Lifebook with a more natural/realistic approach to improv. You have to find your own groove and study that in order to keep up with the many facets of this business because it's not all about just film/television or the stage. You've got voice overs and as I learned by booking recently - motion capture. The more training you open yourself up to, the more opportunities will make their way to you and with your preparation there will be no stopping you so don't limit yourself to one way, it'll only hinder your process. This audition was sent over by my agents where casting just wanted a minute of improv dialogue being in Vegas...any scenerio would do as long as it was simple/natural, nothing over the top. I had briefly skimmed it after coming up for air after a full 3 days of motion capture work plus working all weekend at my bakery job, so of course I read it wrong. I thought about this elaborate theme of "DRAMA" to make my audition different right down to filming it in the car with a small object that looked like an urn...only to glance at it over again before filming and noticed what they had stated they would like to see, so in my atrium space I went to mull over mode quickly on what I'd like to create. This is the wonder of improv training, things happen and all can be scraped in a matter of moments but if you've had to think quickly on your feet constantly the stories make themselves and so you go do. Voila, all done in a matter of a couple of takes because at the end of the day, it is what it is. Don't let things like this stress you out, let your work speak and everything that it is, will be. I never think "Will this be right?" WHY??? Art is always right, it's getting the point across crystal clear with layers that can be difficult - again, training always saves the day and the right training at that, so don't look down on being trained by a fantastic school/instructor. Never underestimate your time to focus on your work, however it comes about - train, train, train and then train some more. Boom - Done and on to the next!!!

These past 2 weeks have been pure bliss...crazy but ah-mazing! Finally getting the opportunity to be a part of motion capture and the first time experience has been wondrous to say the least, I wish everyone the chance for this coolness. Not only is the get up pretty cool ( itchy, tight and somewhat crazy to get out of if needing to use the bathroom ) but the fact of what it does...your digital image of your body...cray, cray! I never imagined in all this time that I'd get the chance to do something like this before being a known name...the director is the reason and his love for the theatre seemed to be the undertone of it all. Each one of us there, came from a theatre background and I realized no wonder he was so involved in the room during the audition process. He spoke to us clearly, knowing exactly what he wished to see and I knew then, I'd love the chance to be directed by him...every morning we've had movement warmups as well as vocal - I couldn't be happier! He even got us rehearsal time which was so needed since all of us had little to no experience in this type of production. Everyone was absolutely fantastic and here's to hoping to work alongside them again...even found out that some of them are working on a major film I had call backs for but didn't get for whatever reasons so I'm happy to have procured this work now. I'm looking forward to what it may bring later because work does beget more work and mo work is what I'm after, so let me keep polishing up my resume - there's no where else to go but up! I try to remind myself when I wasn't picked for a particular audition, that there were other plans that are in the works via the universe so try not to fight so hard or feel so bad when you don't book a particular project...something else is brewing, believe that! Never in these past 2 years did this type of work even cross my radar so again, keep at it, you never know what will come and when unless you stay in the game. I got a chance to work in the exact same space as "Jungle Book" and the picture below is only half the space, I couldn't give away the set up we were shooting for the day...WOWSERS!

I'm now getting the chance to see "Trouble Creek" come to life with a premiere set for this weekend with more pictures to come on a project I'm so humbled to be a part of as a Deputy...I mean, come on - who else would cast me with all this hair!!!! I remember being on the lot to try on the clothes in wardrobe and snapping a shot just in case this was all a hoax and they'd end up going with someone else, so I had to make sure I got one look in the uniform - HA! This show is shot so well, with fantastic performances and I'm thrilled you all will be able to partake for free - of course I'll post here as well but if you want it when it comes out, make sure you subscribe to Trouble Creek tv on YouTube for free!!! Here's another teaser/trailer below...yes to opportunities, even the ones you can't seem to imagine are possible in this moment!!! CHEERS....

The "Glamorous" Life Of Auditions - Day 10 ( Audition 11 )

Wahoo to words...lots and lots of them! Exploring the meaning of what you're saying because it's confusing, is just as much fun as spitting them out and being one that doesn't get too many wordy auditions, this one was sent to challenge me on all levels. With open arms, I decided to break this audition down while memorizing it because although given 5 days, with moving and prepping for my booked NDA, this was a tricky piece to get into my noggin! Constant communication on the audition with casting by David Jaffe made the process even more sweeter who sent another scene over so I'd get the jist of what "happened before." I love it when everyone cares about the script, getting it right and willing to help out instead of finding it all a nuisance equals zero wastes of time on everyone's part! Had an amazing experience with the writer Caleb as he watched my first take and asked if I'd do it more on the spectrum for my second so there was a different look - so interesting to meet this wonderfully, talented writer because when I tell you the words were magnificent...you just can't ask for better conversation pieces to give another look into the scope of dialogue because not all minority "speak" is stereotypical and I'm very happy to see the new outlook on verbal communication opening up in new, upcoming pieces. What a time to be alive...what a time to be on this journey...this gives me so much hope and I'm oh so proud to be making my mark as best as I can, while I can! Don't STOP - it's coming, just DON'T stop!!! Love slipping into my pj's after an audition - I always feel like it was work and now, it's relaxation/celebration time to understand what my art gave to me even if I felt off, I know it was the best in that moment, at that time and that is all I can ever ask for. Be gentle to yourself, understand it's okay to flub, mess up, feel like it's not your best but remember when you've put in the work, it's your all you can do for that moment and you can still book after so let it go by celebrating. Wine, pj's and a movie always puts it all back into perspective for me...find your happy place and dwell there after every audition!


Working on a secret hush-hush project now but will probably be able to post a few pictures when we're wrapped, that doesn't give away a thing as far as the production goes but it's been a wonderful 2 days thus far even with an 1 hour and 30 mins of traffic pretty much both ways. 3 more days are added and I'm in creative bliss, I even got to play a smaller role to boot! Everyone is so completely about it, we even had a rehearsal day before the regular shoot in our first week that I'm absolutely thankful for since so much work goes into this, with another rehearsal date coming up and 2 more days of shooting. Full days, good food, great cast and wonderful crew...first time doing anything like this and knowing it won't be my last. This may be an experience I need for future projects since I didn't get that opportunity on an upcoming, huge project shooting now in Atlanta - but everything happens for a reason...I just realized had I booked the play outside of Palm Springs that would've went straight into production after "Bee Luther Hatchee" - I never would've auditioned for this or had the opportunity to even shoot it. Always remember, if it's yours ( no matter how badly you want it ) the universe will work it's way to giving it to you and if it's not, there is nothing you can do to grab it...even a perfect read with all the skill sets needed so enjoy the process because other projects need/want your attention.

"Trouble Creek" is gearing up for it's release in about a month and not only are they working on my sound but we've got some picture here as well folks. Subscribe for free at YouTube here to be in the know http://www.troublecreektelevision.com/ 

Getting to work with Jason Gedrick and meeting Doris Morgado was such a highlight but the opportunity to be "Deputy Kirby" by the brilliant writers/directors - Stacey K. Black & Shea Butler has forever changed my journey!!! <3

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 9 ( Audition 10 )

Another day, another chance to audition is how I like to look at it all and today I've been looking forward to this "fighter" role I thought I would have to pass up on because of timing. All's well and I was able to get the lines down and make it to Hollywood's Space Station Casting by 4:15p since I didn't want to be in the midst of traffic for my actual time of 5:50p. Got to see a younger crop of gals and although I questioned my being there, I figured I was there and I was going to show them the weight of this character...lucky for me, it was what they were open to so I was in heaven!!! First scene I played more concern so he gave me the chance to play a bit more "wanting to do it underneath" which he liked the change and for the second scene he asked for me to just do the scene as if I was warming up. Martial arts have been my life for so long, saying lines and showing skills come second nature, it's my blood and I hate that I haven't had more opportunities to play within this world. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for all this goodness coming now, but for years I've fought for this chance and yet it eluded me so it's absolutely wondrous feeling like I've finally found my time! When I go to a commercial print set for a major beer company booked as a kickboxer only to see terrible form from the lead taught by the "trainer" who has no clue herself, it makes me boil inside. To see dancers pretend to know how to kick a bag can be just as insulting as if I was trying to pass myself off as a dancer...I get it, it's the business and a hard pill to swallow when being a minority with a black belt can't seem to get me in the door but I at least get to see it changing. Kicking air and kicking a body/bag are 2 different things and you can always tell when someone doesn't know...pretty for pictures...maybe, truth - far from it and again, that's this business so whatever you're good at, bleed for...don't despair - just keep trucking along and when it's your chance, just SHINE and although you may not get it, know there is respect in the fact when they see real truth walk in. I could tell these girls for the most part had trained some just by their build, it wasn't the same teenie, tiny bods which is always a welcomed sight, especially since this film was leaning towards an MMA storyline. I was happy when he explained there would be days of choreography involved at an MMA facility so crossing my fingers that this opportunity is mine but if not, I know it's coming...it's coming because I can feel that it is and that makes my soul weep with joy! Keep groovin', your time is making it's way...

Just booked my first NDA project in a part I've never done and I'm looking forward to tackling this new character just to see what I can do. Although I can't talk about it, I have to say I celebrated with a movie ("Get Out") and din din at the Yardhouse which was steps away from the theatre. Had a nice, dark nitro coffee stout along with vampire tacos ( cheese melted tortillas ) with Korean marinated beef, what a nice way to enjoy the moments of bookings. The meal was different....just like the role I'd get to play and the movie was fantastic...as I hope to be! Never shirk on telling yourself to celebrate everything, every time your art gives, give back just as much - it'll make you smile more, I promise. I love that my art child loves the little things I can do and when I call on her, she explodes with giddiness, hoping for something else to make her look forward to the next task...we must cherish this creative creature residing within us, find a way to say thank you because they take a beating and keep at it anyway! 

After all that goodness I made my way to the gym today knowing my week had been so full it was my first day back this week. I decided not only a wonderful zumba class with the extraordinary instructor Alma who keeps me on my toes and my brain sharp was in order but to hit the sauna as well as get to the Pilates class ending with the steam room. Long day yes, but my body needed to release the stress of dealing with the set, dealing with lines and celebration eating at it's finest! Take care of oneself...it's the only you, you've got and your art can't stay sharp if you're not constantly keeping an eye over it so maximize this time to get into a routine of really working on you. I know this may sound silly, but if you don't care of you, who will? So enjoy moments of celebration, then eat, sleep and workout well balancing it all like the artist you are!!! 

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 8 ( Audition 9 )


YES to getting another audition against "type" at Quixote Studios this week and although there was only one note given in 3 scenes, which I felt was off base, I still readjusted (even) though I felt it was completely wrong in that moment which is something you must learn to do because it's not your show, it's theirs  and went into my work. I rarely get military/police auditions although I feel I'm fully capable of portraying the character, however, my "look" has always gotten in the way so I've learned to pull my hair back, keep them in the braids and style it differently. There's this idea that only a certain look can be certain characters which is phooey because in the right costume, right hair/make-up done, you can look exactly as you need to be...it's all about having the right team! Don't despair, keep pushing for it, keep at it until...until you get the chance to play that role and make sure you dive in all the way so that no one can question that role on you ever. This is the reason I never complain when I get into wardrobe, hair and make-up...I want to look exactly as I should without my preconceived notions on how I could look better for the camera, because it's not about if I look good but if I look the part. If the director has no qualms about anything then I'm good to go, just get me in front of that camera please! I'm looking forward to the footage of Deputy Kirby in "Trouble Creek" because I've never had the true chance to even be looked at for a "cop" type role. I remember going in and having one of the guys state they couldn't see me as the Deputy because of my long, flowing hair I had waltzed in on with my flowing dress but when I came out of wardrobe with uniform on and had it in a quick bun they were aghast. They stated I looked great, exactly as a Deputy should look and I'm just happy the women ( Shea & Stacey ) writers/directors of the show could see past how I came in...it didn't hurt that one was also a hair/makeup stylist as well. It's just that easy (not - ha) and your chance is coming, just don't give in along the way. It can be daunting because the look is that it's either straight hair or if it's curly, it's the short type of curly but not past the shoulders which is mind boggling because it's been okay for others to have all types of hair but for minorities...it's interesting still on the look and style of a person of color but be mindful, not overwhelmed at this notion. I'm fighting hard and that's all you can do, you see it, acknowledge it and you push back hard. I will not straighten out my hair unless I'm shooting and even now, my straight hair is past my tush so it's still in it's own category nor cut it at this time, I work out way to hard and I love my hair's length, it is what it is and I will make these roles bend to me while hoping the people behind the desk are open enough for the work. Just keep plugging away, one role atta time and soon, your body of work will be able to speak for itself. Don't change the incredible, beautiful, unique you that you are to conform with ideas of what others may think the character looks like...be you and let that hold the weight that you are exactly what the character is!


And so, the callbacks happened...at an inopportune time as usual. I had picked up another hush, hush gig as a stand in ( haven't done it in years ) for 3 days since I was busy doing nothing but with much need for some money and had to speak to the 2nd as well as the 2nd/2nd AD about getting a callback that afternoon. I first asked if times could be changed via my agent but with bad reception, the e-mails didn't go through quickly so after a couple of hours I finally get the call. No can do with any time changes, it's a strict callback, yikes so now I must see if I can find a cover just to have a solution in my back pocket. The other gal standing in with me for another character was to be at work and although she called to see, she could not help out, a couple of friends I felt would be perfect were busy and I was out of any luck. I don't do this type of work often and I honestly didn't think I'd get it but when I did, I needed the work...especially to get towards my SAG health insurance. I try to keep myself as open as possible so I don't put any undue stress on my life but when you gotta work, you gotta work, so of course not having to do this type of work for years finally being a thing, I accepted only to be faced with the callback of the above audition...of course it couldn't happen on Thursday or Friday when I had nothing planned but a couple of other auditions. I finally had to speak up as it was rounding to the 5p time and I wanted to not only be professional but also courteous of their scramble they would have to face. I finally pulled one aside to be told to speak to the next person as I was asking/telling of my predicament, I couldn't help but to feel terrible putting anyone in this position because I couldn't keep the booking. The wonderful human being of an AD was actually more excited for me then me...he completely went bananas in happiness for me and assured me it was no problem and they'd love to have me back as well. I kept asking if I could help somehow, maybe go and comeback while someone else came in for the hour but he wouldn't hear of it, he wanted me to book the job. I was absolutely floored...I've never been on a set as anything below an actress and have someone root for me as hard as he did. I was so moved, I was in tears of thankfulness and humbleness. See, although I haven't stood in for ages and had a bad experience for a season on a show with a crazy actress, I actually like the work, I like the feeling that I am a part of the crew and I get to watch more of the inner workings of directors/camera operators/AD's etc all make magic. I've never felt above this type of work, I feel I actually get a chance to learn more about others and their positions and not taking it for granted when I step on that set to play a character. Humbling...I also see how most people can treat you when you're not the star and that is a pill all actors should take, but there are times when you get on a wonderful set and everyone is treated with respect and appreciation, lucky for me, this was one of those times. I then called the casting office I was booked through and I can't tell you how upset this person was with me...to the point of telling me to not go to my callbacks. YIKERS!!! With this dilemma, I decided to once again try to come up with another solution only to be shut down by this amazing human being of an AD ( awesomeness of Kyle.) He specifically told me to not worry about it, that he was excited for me and that he'd handle the situation, for me not to drop any more thought into it and I was truly in the clear...they got a friend to cover. Not long after I received a text from said casting office stating they had gotten a message from Kyle and all was clear for me to go to my call backs...I can't thank this show enough. For not only treating me like a human being, but for stepping in and rooting for me as an actress as well. I'd stand in for them anytime and as many times as I can in the future no matter what - love when everyone can understand the struggle no matter what position they're in and literally have your back! So, here I am, in this serendipitous moment of my callback working out this morning without a worry about rushing and getting to play a role I have yet to play. I can't speak of it since an NDA was signed but I truly know, I'm right where I'm suppose to be and for that I'm grateful! It takes a village for an artist...find your village and thank them hard - I actually stopped by the set just to drop off bundtinis to let them know that gesture would never be forgotten. CHEERS to being where you're suppose to be with others helping how they can and fighting to stay there!!!!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 7 ( Audition 8 )

Yay to auditions and even more yays to auditions with directors you've worked for...this never guarantees you a spot but another chance to work your work in a room with someone you know as well as with those you don't, at least you have someone cheering you on. Although I was unfamiliar with this play, I was happy to be called in for it because I thought I wasn't actually the type they were looking for but it's always interesting to see what you as an artist can do with that. I don't believe you should ever turn down an opportunity unless it's so far beyond that you feel you can't find your truth in the matter but go in with the idea that you'll play and see where it may take you, who knows, it may lead to a booking. Loved getting the chance to read for something I wasn't quite sure about but happy that through my busy closing time, I was able to get it together enough to not embarrass my wonderful friend who trusted me to come in. I had just come off the hectic weather of a weekend on the show and my hair had it's own agenda as well as it's own life. I had to roll with it and my look was my look. Get that you can't always be perfectly coifed/done for every audition, let that go...all you can try to control is your art...go in focused on only that aspect and give them your shine because your work will stand over what your clothes look like, how your hair is responding and what your make-up wants to do. These little things are distractions from your work, don't let 'em in! #BigHairDontCare went to #HugeHairLetGo - HA!!! We're human, we forget our flats and only have flip flops that we wore to be comfortable in the car, we forget that perfect scarf that sealed our look for the character, our make up looks crazy because we had to put it on in the car once we arrived because we raced from work, our clothes are wrinkled because we threw them in the back and had to juggle 3 different looks today for different calls...the list goes on but you can't allow that to agitate your space. The outer look, those parts are just icing on the cake so you roll in there with all your attitude and art in that person you've created and rest assured those qualities shined through, even if you don't get the part. I love how some folks will tell you to always look the part...you can try but that won't be the defining factor and it shouldn't get in your way as an artist, this type of thinking will kill the joy outta that audition you just got outta the hundreds that submitted because you're too worried about what you look like. Go in, give them your work...let your work speak and understand that even if they don't actually get you, they now know what you can bring and that is all that matters...keep having fun!

With bittersweet love, we're closed on "Bee Luther Hatchee" and I can't tell you how it brings my heart joy knowing I was a part of such a beautiful story especially needed in these times. The Artistic Director ( Christian Lebano, also playing Sean ) have had this play in his back pocket for over 4 years and pushed to get it done on his stage. Although it was tough to convince people that this show was needed at the Sierra Madre of all places, he went through with the first steps of getting it started and then the grant from the Sheri & Les Biller Foundation came through to cover lost costs...everything worked to get this story out there and it was grand just being a part of it, part of the dream. Getting to play Libby was once again a bucket list character I didn't even know about but had it in my heart to play her as soon as I read her...what a lucky gal I am to be to play her in such a way to help with the arguments within the story. I have no clue as to what theatre show is next for me, but I'm ever so proud of my last 2 years of characters I've had the opportunity to portray to further my acting skills and be on stage doing something I love - creating in the moment when things go wrong or off, still somehow saying the lines when the back door opens and floods in light right in my face and just the pure joy of feeling the audience respond to the show in a way that made most of them stay for talk backs where they could engage with themselves as well as us. What an experience, what a way to start the year and I look forward to seeing what's next...time to get back to it and push for my next as you do the same!

When things are meant to be, things are meant to be and the universe works in that wondrous way of making sure you're a part of the project. This is why when you know you killed it in the room, when you slayed every facet of what was needed and still don't get the part...IT'S NOT YOU! Understand not everything you do perfectly will be yours and not everything you feel like you've screw up on will lead you to not getting the part...things happen that are out of your control and you must learn to stand in your light, shining as brightly as possible whenever the chance arises while leaving it all there. I love when things just happen in a serendipitous way...when some friends asked about a date to shoot I was already committed to the play. Then it was pushed and they asked about another day which ended up being my closing day with matinee which would've been too much, then they checked in for the following week and it was open - too happy to work with friends and people doing wonderfully, creative projects. This one is a musical, shot as a segment to push it forward and what a day of beautiful singing...just being surrounded by all that talent inspires me to no end. Loved having the opportunity to finally be on set with a FB actor, friend - Phrederic and Courtney, it's been a long time coming as well as being directed by the wonderful Lowes! I'm reminded to keep at "JANE" no matter what, it's all just a matter of time and opportunity...for that I'm ever so grateful to keep plugging away...