The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 6
Missing the mark is never easy and it's even worse when the director that loves your work calls you in...but it happens and it just happened to me. This rarely comes up but when it does, my stomach churns and I usually can't sleep. I've let it go but there's nothing like that back voice of understanding after the fact and although most times I know I've nailed it and there is nothing else I can do, every once in awhile I'm at a total loss but this is when you grow as an artist, you learn something then you move on. Sci-Fi isn't even on my radar because it's something as a minority you're not even considered unless you have a name. The one time I was called in for this type of genre it was for a captain type role but never an alien, never a non human and from what I've always gathered it was the appearance of the alien always trying to fit in, be human. I love Sci-Fi but I'm usually disappointed in the shows and I haven't caught one I could be fascinated in with yet, so needless to say, I'm lacking in this genre of skill set but will be slowly researching this as we go along from now on. I get a call from the director letting me know she wants me in for a role as an alien in a Sci-Fi short play for the Sci-Fi Fest and it would be good for me to read for the role. I get the 17 page script over the weekend and devour it but don't get the audition notice of pages to look over until Monday afternoon with the audition being Tuesday evening...4 pages of slightly off dialogue because the language of the alien is mixed with regular speech so this is super difficult to even get my brain to understand the text as well as memorize it. From my understanding of the script, I feel like the alien is human because of years of training with slight alien characteristics, I don't really see additional info telling me otherwise so my choices lie in that. I give it deliberate blinking and stillness because that is what I can play with in about a day with such interesting dialogue and what I can gather from my knowledge base. I was told to bring my exotic/Asian flair in which I misunderstood as my appearance...I highlighted my eyes to make them glow in a sense with more shimmery makeup to give myself a slightly heightened look. I thought I was on the right track...I was not - HA! I get in, my choice is in weird stillness for over compensation of this being trying to be human and I do the scene, we go back and I'm told to tighten it up, try to speak differently as I had when I pronounced a word during the last take. I put my octave a bit higher and I try to add some head movements but was stopped by my loving director saying the read was the same and to give her something more Asian/exotic...BOOM, I understood now what she meant...it was in the accent/language of the character. I still made the speech a bit deliberate but there was a moment I didn't get my cue line from the reader so I waited for a bit then since he couldn't seem to find it, I jumped into the next line but by then it may have seemed my pauses were too big. A mess for me in ways but I got it after the fact and I just smiled exiting the room because I knew whatever this was, it wasn't mine - urghhh. I realized in the car what she wanted, what I didn't quite understand and what I could've done/asked but with the amount of time I was at a loss. This happens, I didn't give a bad read, I just didn't give the read I was expected too because my lack of understanding. I take responsibility because I didn't ask more questions but then and again, I didn't quite understand the direction they were looking for with this piece as well. I could've asked more questions but I tried to find them on my own - discover my choices and what I came up with was wrong...for their project. Look, we can have "off" auditions because we just make choices as artists but you can't beat yourself up for not knowing what it is that they're looking for. You go in, you give them what you got and you leave with those choices, it's not bad...it's just not that piece and if you don't get it clearly, don't understand it because it's not in your wheel house that's a part of this game. Of course you'll have it if given more insight of the script or more time to work with the director etc after you book but this process of the audition can be a guessing game and there are no wrong choices, just more interesting ones you must find as an artist. What did I learn? To maybe ask if the alien is more outright alien or not, did they want movement, if they want an accent/language distinction ( before the audition ) and if I get it somewhat at the end, maybe ask to leave the room - gather myself for the new information flooding my character build and come in...the worse they can say is no. I'm growing as an artist always so getting new information is always something to understand and be open to. I'm glad I went through this with a director that knows me and my work so that I am more prepared for the next opportunity that arises. We all feel like we didn't "get" it in the room every now and then, but know it's a growing point to figure it out and definitely move on!!!
Move on you say...how could I not with a plethera of these delicious goods from my local bakery that I not only support but work at as well. This is how you get over a audition you don't feel great about - you do something for yourself, you give something back to yourself to celebrate you learned something new and that you are still able to do so! It's not the end of the world, it's an audition that you will nail the next time because you as an artist is strong enough to grow and understand that there are times you do nail it and still don't get the part...so it is, enjoy the good stuff because what is meant for you will be yours, when it's your time, it's all yours and you will step in, step up and ROAR loudly! So go ahead, grab something to make you smile and know that you are a creative human being rising to challenges every time you walk out to audition. What am I giving myself...hmmmmm, what am I not after an audition. Lucky for me today is a full vegetarian eat day and I've got a mushroom and swiss croissant calling my name along with a cheesecake to celebrate my artistry...even got myself some flowers to remind myself that I need to keep doing this, that this is my calling and to never give up because there will be bad days, it's how I handle them that matters.
So without further adieu, I've been submitting "JANE" to several festivals and although I didn't get into the Las Vegas Black Film Festival, we did receive the Bronze Laurels and are a part of the 2016 Film Selection by Fame'us International to be shown at the end of the year! I haven't submitted to any this month but will make my way back next month after getting caught up, but I'm excited to see what the other festivals may say in June. Now understand, this was a 13 episode web series idea, I shot an episode and a scene to promote it and felt although it was very different because it's a middle of a story, that I could show it as a short. Edit it as such, then submitted it while now writing it as a feature as well, we've got to just go with the flow sometimes and realize that maybe not everyone gets it, but that is true art. What speaks to one person and is so perfectly right doesn't say a damn word to the next...your work is that, art is that...ART is THAT! Don't forget how special you are because of all the rejections, off days and no bookings...you could be one audition away from making your mark so don't walk away because you feel you don't got it. YOU GOT IT, but you must know you got it and you know by training, training and working that training some more - sometimes it takes months, other times years and let me tell you it's taken me years just to get here and it is sweeter and more beautiful than I could've imagined. I can't wait to see how far I can go...and I'm excited for your journey as well. Hang in, stay strong and GIVE THEM ART!!!!
Missing the mark is never easy and it's even worse when the director that loves your work calls you in...but it happens and it just happened to me. This rarely comes up but when it does, my stomach churns and I usually can't sleep. I've let it go but there's nothing like that back voice of understanding after the fact and although most times I know I've nailed it and there is nothing else I can do, every once in awhile I'm at a total loss but this is when you grow as an artist, you learn something then you move on. Sci-Fi isn't even on my radar because it's something as a minority you're not even considered unless you have a name. The one time I was called in for this type of genre it was for a captain type role but never an alien, never a non human and from what I've always gathered it was the appearance of the alien always trying to fit in, be human. I love Sci-Fi but I'm usually disappointed in the shows and I haven't caught one I could be fascinated in with yet, so needless to say, I'm lacking in this genre of skill set but will be slowly researching this as we go along from now on. I get a call from the director letting me know she wants me in for a role as an alien in a Sci-Fi short play for the Sci-Fi Fest and it would be good for me to read for the role. I get the 17 page script over the weekend and devour it but don't get the audition notice of pages to look over until Monday afternoon with the audition being Tuesday evening...4 pages of slightly off dialogue because the language of the alien is mixed with regular speech so this is super difficult to even get my brain to understand the text as well as memorize it. From my understanding of the script, I feel like the alien is human because of years of training with slight alien characteristics, I don't really see additional info telling me otherwise so my choices lie in that. I give it deliberate blinking and stillness because that is what I can play with in about a day with such interesting dialogue and what I can gather from my knowledge base. I was told to bring my exotic/Asian flair in which I misunderstood as my appearance...I highlighted my eyes to make them glow in a sense with more shimmery makeup to give myself a slightly heightened look. I thought I was on the right track...I was not - HA! I get in, my choice is in weird stillness for over compensation of this being trying to be human and I do the scene, we go back and I'm told to tighten it up, try to speak differently as I had when I pronounced a word during the last take. I put my octave a bit higher and I try to add some head movements but was stopped by my loving director saying the read was the same and to give her something more Asian/exotic...BOOM, I understood now what she meant...it was in the accent/language of the character. I still made the speech a bit deliberate but there was a moment I didn't get my cue line from the reader so I waited for a bit then since he couldn't seem to find it, I jumped into the next line but by then it may have seemed my pauses were too big. A mess for me in ways but I got it after the fact and I just smiled exiting the room because I knew whatever this was, it wasn't mine - urghhh. I realized in the car what she wanted, what I didn't quite understand and what I could've done/asked but with the amount of time I was at a loss. This happens, I didn't give a bad read, I just didn't give the read I was expected too because my lack of understanding. I take responsibility because I didn't ask more questions but then and again, I didn't quite understand the direction they were looking for with this piece as well. I could've asked more questions but I tried to find them on my own - discover my choices and what I came up with was wrong...for their project. Look, we can have "off" auditions because we just make choices as artists but you can't beat yourself up for not knowing what it is that they're looking for. You go in, you give them what you got and you leave with those choices, it's not bad...it's just not that piece and if you don't get it clearly, don't understand it because it's not in your wheel house that's a part of this game. Of course you'll have it if given more insight of the script or more time to work with the director etc after you book but this process of the audition can be a guessing game and there are no wrong choices, just more interesting ones you must find as an artist. What did I learn? To maybe ask if the alien is more outright alien or not, did they want movement, if they want an accent/language distinction ( before the audition ) and if I get it somewhat at the end, maybe ask to leave the room - gather myself for the new information flooding my character build and come in...the worse they can say is no. I'm growing as an artist always so getting new information is always something to understand and be open to. I'm glad I went through this with a director that knows me and my work so that I am more prepared for the next opportunity that arises. We all feel like we didn't "get" it in the room every now and then, but know it's a growing point to figure it out and definitely move on!!!
Move on you say...how could I not with a plethera of these delicious goods from my local bakery that I not only support but work at as well. This is how you get over a audition you don't feel great about - you do something for yourself, you give something back to yourself to celebrate you learned something new and that you are still able to do so! It's not the end of the world, it's an audition that you will nail the next time because you as an artist is strong enough to grow and understand that there are times you do nail it and still don't get the part...so it is, enjoy the good stuff because what is meant for you will be yours, when it's your time, it's all yours and you will step in, step up and ROAR loudly! So go ahead, grab something to make you smile and know that you are a creative human being rising to challenges every time you walk out to audition. What am I giving myself...hmmmmm, what am I not after an audition. Lucky for me today is a full vegetarian eat day and I've got a mushroom and swiss croissant calling my name along with a cheesecake to celebrate my artistry...even got myself some flowers to remind myself that I need to keep doing this, that this is my calling and to never give up because there will be bad days, it's how I handle them that matters.
So without further adieu, I've been submitting "JANE" to several festivals and although I didn't get into the Las Vegas Black Film Festival, we did receive the Bronze Laurels and are a part of the 2016 Film Selection by Fame'us International to be shown at the end of the year! I haven't submitted to any this month but will make my way back next month after getting caught up, but I'm excited to see what the other festivals may say in June. Now understand, this was a 13 episode web series idea, I shot an episode and a scene to promote it and felt although it was very different because it's a middle of a story, that I could show it as a short. Edit it as such, then submitted it while now writing it as a feature as well, we've got to just go with the flow sometimes and realize that maybe not everyone gets it, but that is true art. What speaks to one person and is so perfectly right doesn't say a damn word to the next...your work is that, art is that...ART is THAT! Don't forget how special you are because of all the rejections, off days and no bookings...you could be one audition away from making your mark so don't walk away because you feel you don't got it. YOU GOT IT, but you must know you got it and you know by training, training and working that training some more - sometimes it takes months, other times years and let me tell you it's taken me years just to get here and it is sweeter and more beautiful than I could've imagined. I can't wait to see how far I can go...and I'm excited for your journey as well. Hang in, stay strong and GIVE THEM ART!!!!
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