2018 is here and I'm still pushing for auditions til the last drop of 2017 because each year just keeps on getting better with more focus and love on my part. I decided last year not to stress about auditions, really to focus in on roles I needed to play and work on and let the negative aspects of this business not hinder my exploration of my art. YOU gotta let the negative go, whatever that manifests for you in your life, you as an artist cannot thrive in that climate...YOU cannot give, you cannot create freely, you cannot achieve even a simple step in happiness because you will be steadily trying to get yourself out of the muck and mire instead of enjoying your moments, your wins. What held you back this year? Your fear? Your excuses? Your blame shifting? Your short sight? Your disbelief? Your self sabotage? What can you shake of your persons this year? How can you do it? I for one started off years ago by less judgement...how? I decided each time I judged someone for anything, I would bring up something about myself that I found to be just as annoying or embarrassing...guess what, it worked! If I'm in traffic and someone just darts in front of me, I may get a bit pissed and then mention to myself how I did that the following week...then I smile and then that smiles turns to laughter. Releasing this need to secretly feel like others should "act" like me and realizing how flawed of a human I really am has made me look at others in a different light. Do I still scream out "You Welcome" when someone doesn't acknowledge that the door was held out for them, you betcha but I do it with an all knowing laugh at how oblivious we can all be in our own worlds. I still try and I still fail but it's gotten way better and I've received a kind of happiness to go along with it. It's a peace not having to have expectations thrust on people so instead of anger and disappointment, it's more astonishment and incredulous laughter...I was tired of negative so why promote it in subtle ways and through this, my art has grown. No I'm not even close to where I'd like to be but I feel more in control over my art, my space, my creatin' than ever before and I look forward to where this freedom will take me in my purpose this upcoming year. Learning to laugh at oneself, not self deprecate but to truly laugh at oneself will allow you to enjoy your moments of hurt, pain, joy, life etc, on a deeper level and the only way to get there is to let whatever is holding you back go. The more you connect with yourself the more you can see what pains you and what you must do to heal yourself...is it easy, not in the least but will you change, grow and put it in your work...you better believe it and then the drama comes and stays on the stage, your life will be your life....you may find it boring at times but boy will there be peace and happiness while your art thrives.
Very last audition of 2017 and it's an at home self submission once again...coming around and beginning to love these! No stressing about traffic, set times and my awkwardness in auditions at times ( see last post ) but the downside is knowing they may not get the jist of you nor catch certain moments because hell, the camera isn't all up in your face for a close up. They may shut it off because of something they may not like and not watch the rest but then again, they may and then they may just hire you to boot ( see a few posts before... ) There are pluses and minuses for face to face auditions to video submissions but you've got to believe that your art still shines in any situation and you will be seen. I had fun with this serious piece and played around with looking that I may be driving without miming that I am...not sure if it worked but it looked good enough to me! Releasing all of these auditions to make room for the new ones...here we go guys, let's put in the work to make 2018 even more <3. Make "wrong" choices ( you really can't but you have days that you feel it could've been better ), get tongue tied ( for no apparent reason because life... ), feel lost ( what the heck am I trying to say here with these writer's words ) etc, etc, etc and get over it by celebrating each of these moments as well as you celebrate your wins!!!
Whatever your choices may be going into the New Year, understand if it's in alignment with your being, you're on the right path for you but if you feel the slightest of hesitation or weirdness, acknowledge that and decide how to proceed from there. Let you shine this year, allow it to fill up a room and give yourself permission to not be on all the time but try to be in as much as possible. CHEERS to 2017 and HELLO 2018....
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