The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 28 & 29 (
Audition #32 & #33 ) with a direct booking but....
Direct bookings are great and fun, you know they want you because of past work so you get super excited to get these types of messages with no audition required...except when you're on your first real vacation with your umma to celebrate your Appa's first Daddy's Day not physically here. This is an actors thing - we all understand it because we've all been there...basically it's book a flight or a vacation or a time to be out of town and that's usually when you'll get your audition/callback/direct booking/shooting etc. It just never fails in this town...you can be here for months on end and the moment you decide you're going somewhere else to do something else, THEY CALL - HA! Frustrating to say the least because now you're put into the position of being between a rock and a hard place and only you can decide on how this goes whether you upset yourself, your loved ones, your agent or even the people casting you - it "feels" like a no-win situation...but only if you view it as such. Got that dreaded email of "We love you, this is a direct booking, we shoot...( drum roll please... ) June 22nd...at first I panicked, took a quick look at my dates of family time and we were suppose to head back on the 22nd, getting into L.A. that evening. I asked my beast how he felt about leaving a day early, especially since my mom would be put on the plane that evening anyway and of course we were bummed to cut our vacay a day short since we had some photo plans in mind, but it was for the sake of my career and things don't usually work out this way. So I sent a message stating I'd love to be a part of the project and if that date was actually set in stone which was sent that morning and I was returning the email within an hour since it was a rush to answer otherwise they'll have to start asking around. Of course the date was set and there was no changes to be made, so I agreed to the date and we discussed getting my script etc over to me as well as all the necessary paperwork. Even got a call to ask about the length of my hair since it was important to the scene so they could match a wig to get pieces...everything was going oh, so smoothly. Within the damn hour of course I get another email... ( drum roll please... ) this time stating "You do know how locations and times are always set right?!?!" 😆 REALLY??? This was just an hour ago of setting times with a rushed confirmation... It went on to state the date has to be changed to Monday, June 18th - now right smack dab in the middle of my planned vacay because they've lost locations within an hour of being a set time. Of course this makes me panic and feel overwhelmed...how does this person contact me desperate for confirmation on a set time and date only to lose the location within an hour of my confirmation? I had to rearrange my schedule to suit the production to confirm even though it would take a day away from my time, only to have it all change once again in 60 minutes and this time I had to consider it all. I asked about pay which would be low budget but the other actresses I'd have a scene with would be from "The Goldbergs" and "Stranger Things" but the cost of me flying so last minute out of Vegas after driving over 3 hours from Utah would've been $250 each way plus I'd be missing a full day and a half of family time with travel issues. The paid amount wouldn't cover the cost of it all and I had to make a decision although needing the work badly, I realized that I had tried to bend over backwards for this opportunity - I HAD ALREADY SAID YES, then they changed the narrative. That had nothing to do with me anymore and I was pretty annoyed at the fact that it was such a "hurry up and answer us to confirm" only to have it all change within an hour of confirmation. I spoke it all over with my beast trying to get perspective and nothing so important came about for me to rearrange my whole plan for people who wouldn't do the same for me at the beginning. I get it's a low budget and things happen but then it's my choice as an artist to get sucked into this or not and this particular time, especially after losing my Appa, I wasn't going to bend over backwards for them. I sent a message stating how I would've loved to have been a part of their project but with the last minute, date changes, it was impossible for me to continue since this trip had more meaning involved and I left it there without guilt or regret...okay, maybe some annoyance at the whole fiasco but nothing for my art or myself to feel upset about. Opportunities come up and it's up to your soul to answer truthfully about what's more important at that moment...sometimes it's the job, but most times it will be prior commitments so understand, whatever weighs more in that moment is what should be the defining factor but take it all into consideration and follow your heart/gut/soul/mind. Just like this chance work just showed up, others will also and it will work in perfect alignment of my trajectory so there is no feelings of missed chances because my time will be my time. After seeing a post notifying of my good friend that I had been visiting and bringing my fresh squeezed juices/kimchees to for months in the past year had passed, I knew that I knew, I had made the best decision for myself in that moment because nothing beats family time...NOTHING, whatever you consider "family" to be, hold on tight and enjoy the moments when you can.
Got back to 2 "star name only" auditions lined up and although I felt neither was for me, the idea that I was getting to be seen anyway just reconfirmed my place in this madness. The first was from my very excited manager telling me I was specifically requested to read for a movie with Tatiana Ali with Pemrick/Fronk Casting, an office I've known for some time but that have slowly become fans of my work. This is years in the making! Like I've said, my choices can be a hard pill to swallow at times but I'll make you see my art, one step atta time if given the opportunity and they keep on giving. Once a year, turned to twice, turned to 3+ times and after my read, it won't be slowing down. I already knew the role might not be for me because of the age description they were looking for but they called me in and I was going to show up and show out. Greeted with warm hi's, a nice chat and the scenes which he stated I nailed...this is all you can do, then you scaddle because you gave them something to ponder and that's your job right in that zone. Came home to another audition needing to be immediately sent in to another casting office that's constantly open to seeing me more often than not although the star name restriction is usually now up on the roles. I'm not there yet, but my work is slowly speaking for itself and that is what I've got to cling to. Years ago, I was this close and I walked away because bills don't pay themselves but I've learned to survive this time around and I know it's now just a matter of time. Two lines, self submission with lots going on under the scene and I ate it up because drama is life when I get to do this type of work!!! Go there, go for it, give it your all, even with just a line because it's important to get your type of vision seen so don't shirk on that responsibility of sharing another look or another way to do it all.
Do when you can and when you can't...live it fully in the moment and enjoy every last drop of goodness this sweet life has got to offer you whenever you choose to do so, but do it more often than not if not all the time! Utah is stunning, go visit Bryce to meet the very cool and photo op friendly raven and then find yourself at the Gadgets and Goodies Thrift store and maybe you'll find a cool vintage bag for $4 along with some nectarine jam - LIFE IS DELICIOUS, GET YOU SOME!!!
Direct bookings are great and fun, you know they want you because of past work so you get super excited to get these types of messages with no audition required...except when you're on your first real vacation with your umma to celebrate your Appa's first Daddy's Day not physically here. This is an actors thing - we all understand it because we've all been there...basically it's book a flight or a vacation or a time to be out of town and that's usually when you'll get your audition/callback/direct booking/shooting etc. It just never fails in this town...you can be here for months on end and the moment you decide you're going somewhere else to do something else, THEY CALL - HA! Frustrating to say the least because now you're put into the position of being between a rock and a hard place and only you can decide on how this goes whether you upset yourself, your loved ones, your agent or even the people casting you - it "feels" like a no-win situation...but only if you view it as such. Got that dreaded email of "We love you, this is a direct booking, we shoot...( drum roll please... ) June 22nd...at first I panicked, took a quick look at my dates of family time and we were suppose to head back on the 22nd, getting into L.A. that evening. I asked my beast how he felt about leaving a day early, especially since my mom would be put on the plane that evening anyway and of course we were bummed to cut our vacay a day short since we had some photo plans in mind, but it was for the sake of my career and things don't usually work out this way. So I sent a message stating I'd love to be a part of the project and if that date was actually set in stone which was sent that morning and I was returning the email within an hour since it was a rush to answer otherwise they'll have to start asking around. Of course the date was set and there was no changes to be made, so I agreed to the date and we discussed getting my script etc over to me as well as all the necessary paperwork. Even got a call to ask about the length of my hair since it was important to the scene so they could match a wig to get pieces...everything was going oh, so smoothly. Within the damn hour of course I get another email... ( drum roll please... ) this time stating "You do know how locations and times are always set right?!?!" 😆 REALLY??? This was just an hour ago of setting times with a rushed confirmation... It went on to state the date has to be changed to Monday, June 18th - now right smack dab in the middle of my planned vacay because they've lost locations within an hour of being a set time. Of course this makes me panic and feel overwhelmed...how does this person contact me desperate for confirmation on a set time and date only to lose the location within an hour of my confirmation? I had to rearrange my schedule to suit the production to confirm even though it would take a day away from my time, only to have it all change once again in 60 minutes and this time I had to consider it all. I asked about pay which would be low budget but the other actresses I'd have a scene with would be from "The Goldbergs" and "Stranger Things" but the cost of me flying so last minute out of Vegas after driving over 3 hours from Utah would've been $250 each way plus I'd be missing a full day and a half of family time with travel issues. The paid amount wouldn't cover the cost of it all and I had to make a decision although needing the work badly, I realized that I had tried to bend over backwards for this opportunity - I HAD ALREADY SAID YES, then they changed the narrative. That had nothing to do with me anymore and I was pretty annoyed at the fact that it was such a "hurry up and answer us to confirm" only to have it all change within an hour of confirmation. I spoke it all over with my beast trying to get perspective and nothing so important came about for me to rearrange my whole plan for people who wouldn't do the same for me at the beginning. I get it's a low budget and things happen but then it's my choice as an artist to get sucked into this or not and this particular time, especially after losing my Appa, I wasn't going to bend over backwards for them. I sent a message stating how I would've loved to have been a part of their project but with the last minute, date changes, it was impossible for me to continue since this trip had more meaning involved and I left it there without guilt or regret...okay, maybe some annoyance at the whole fiasco but nothing for my art or myself to feel upset about. Opportunities come up and it's up to your soul to answer truthfully about what's more important at that moment...sometimes it's the job, but most times it will be prior commitments so understand, whatever weighs more in that moment is what should be the defining factor but take it all into consideration and follow your heart/gut/soul/mind. Just like this chance work just showed up, others will also and it will work in perfect alignment of my trajectory so there is no feelings of missed chances because my time will be my time. After seeing a post notifying of my good friend that I had been visiting and bringing my fresh squeezed juices/kimchees to for months in the past year had passed, I knew that I knew, I had made the best decision for myself in that moment because nothing beats family time...NOTHING, whatever you consider "family" to be, hold on tight and enjoy the moments when you can.
Got back to 2 "star name only" auditions lined up and although I felt neither was for me, the idea that I was getting to be seen anyway just reconfirmed my place in this madness. The first was from my very excited manager telling me I was specifically requested to read for a movie with Tatiana Ali with Pemrick/Fronk Casting, an office I've known for some time but that have slowly become fans of my work. This is years in the making! Like I've said, my choices can be a hard pill to swallow at times but I'll make you see my art, one step atta time if given the opportunity and they keep on giving. Once a year, turned to twice, turned to 3+ times and after my read, it won't be slowing down. I already knew the role might not be for me because of the age description they were looking for but they called me in and I was going to show up and show out. Greeted with warm hi's, a nice chat and the scenes which he stated I nailed...this is all you can do, then you scaddle because you gave them something to ponder and that's your job right in that zone. Came home to another audition needing to be immediately sent in to another casting office that's constantly open to seeing me more often than not although the star name restriction is usually now up on the roles. I'm not there yet, but my work is slowly speaking for itself and that is what I've got to cling to. Years ago, I was this close and I walked away because bills don't pay themselves but I've learned to survive this time around and I know it's now just a matter of time. Two lines, self submission with lots going on under the scene and I ate it up because drama is life when I get to do this type of work!!! Go there, go for it, give it your all, even with just a line because it's important to get your type of vision seen so don't shirk on that responsibility of sharing another look or another way to do it all.
Do when you can and when you can't...live it fully in the moment and enjoy every last drop of goodness this sweet life has got to offer you whenever you choose to do so, but do it more often than not if not all the time! Utah is stunning, go visit Bryce to meet the very cool and photo op friendly raven and then find yourself at the Gadgets and Goodies Thrift store and maybe you'll find a cool vintage bag for $4 along with some nectarine jam - LIFE IS DELICIOUS, GET YOU SOME!!! 
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