It's not about you...repeat after me and keep on saying it until it's drilled in after every single audition you do - IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!! Celebrate that fact, celebrate it so good that you allow your disappointment/anger/expectation to just fall by the way side because in this business, you can allow that hurt to keep buggin' you or you can just shake it off...shake, shake. I got an self submission taped audition with some well knowns, including one being an executive producer, shooting in the Dominican Republic/Florida with travel, lodging etc included. Got the sides and it was ummmmmm - whatever in acting terms. Had barely any lines because it was a scene with 3 besties attending a reunion so it was spread out but I do what I do and added my own sprinkles, laughed about it all being reactionary since my mammasan was with me and finally saw what I did to make these self tapes happen. Of course I go to Joshua Tree for some time to recharge from such a heavy year and I get that e-mail while heading in and had to head back out of the park just to answer the e-mail since there's little to no signal there thank goodness, I needed a day without the phone! Trek out to really read the e-mail and noticed they also wanted my height and after looking at the lead's I knew it was going to be a thing. The e-mail stated I was director & producer picked - WOW...yeah, okay - and that they needed some info in case they needed to reach me since this was a quick turnaround. After making all that effort to get out of the park, answer the email with all the needed info, I heard NOTHING back! Yep, you heard right, after all the hoopla of being picked, not a damn word after dealing with trying to send confirmed messages. Not a "thank you," not a "we went a different way," just ghosted - 😂 This is how this business is ran half the time and as the artists, we get the brunt end of things. All day I had hoped he received my message and when I finally finished my day and was able to check, it was sent as it should've been. This had no affect on my day and how I connected with the nature that surrounded me because I did that audition with no expectation and when I received that e-mail I already knew I had been through this enough times to know that you don't get excited until you've been booked and are on the plane! BOY BYE, I ain't got no time for dis here nonsense, I keeps it movin' as you should without trying to process all of this into it being your fault somehow. It's not...it's THEM, let crazy be crazy and you stay focused and on course. 4 more auditions rounded out the end of the year with me getting in on the Paramount Lot for a pre-read for casting I hadn't seen in awhile. Although once again, one of the few black women given the opportunity, I was thankful to see an office once again to make my mark and sit on the actual "Forrest Gump" bench for some good vibes into 2019. A tremendous V.O. audition day with British dialects played for 2 auditions as well as something easier to finish the day plus another extra day filled with a couple of big vo's sent in as well. Another commercial audition in the heat of traffic of course to annoy the crap outta me but rocked it even though I don't think this office even likes me, but you go in when you're called and smile at all the petty! Last audition was for a huge network in the horror genre and I'm still keeping hope alive with the piece I sent in even though the character is stacked against me as I play a mom, I WANT THIS ONE but it is what it will be and I'm just happy to be on their radar now! 2018 was the year of the sow and I'm looking forward to all the reaping in 2019...don't let the process get you down, it is what it is and it'll make you the better artist when the time comes - don't doubt that, just keep that forward drive and we'll get there together! They haven't seen the likes of us yet...and boy are they missing out!!! When you feel like you're stuck between rocks of pressure, smile, look up and see the LOVE, focus on the love - the love of the art, the love of oneself and the love of others! Screw the rest of the noise and follow your passion/purpose...hello 2019!!! 
Although I didn't receive regular bookings through an audition process, I received offers to work this year on some beautiful passion projects. Just when you think nothing is happening, the universe answers ever so easily letting you know you're in the right space, doing your purpose. Don't let go of that...EVER!!!
Getting paid to be a understudy in "A Raisin In The Sun" - given to me by 2 directors ( Saundra & Gregg ) I had worked for out of the blue during a time of pain/celebration ( never had to hit the stage - whew...but I would've done it gladly:
Shooting a full teaser trailer with creative friends for their own passion project:
Taped film reading for the wondrous writer Kimba along with celebrating a cherished friend's memory by eating at her favorite place while in the area:
Getting to shoot a personal commercial with my extremely talented friend, Rodrigo:
Script reading of "Scales" by a beautiful creative soul and friend, John G. Long:
Poetry by ( like I said ) my wonderfully, talented creative Rodrigo:
Playing the Blasian spa owner, Charlotte in the upcoming "Prowess" series with Freedom:
Table reading of feature film script "Unreachable" via the artist Lowes:
Shooting my first Sci-Fi short from the "Tankborn" Trilogy by Karen also pictured as I geeked out because it was also given to me by 2 wonderful female directors that I knew and one that took her first chance with me - Stacey, Shea & Regina:
What a year...without much, I did so much and for that I am grateful...grow out of those rocks and SHINE my arties! YAY to sowing in 2018 and gettin' it all in 2019, let's do dis!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment