The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 22

It's been awhile but having a chemistry, screen test callback is so much fun! Realize when you get this far, they like you...they really like you and that is all that matters. Yes - you want the job, Yes - your hopes are high but now comes the process that is completely out of your hands. Trust that they like your work and they believe in you but do you match the leads? Too tall...too big...too exotic...too different...WHAT EVS!!!! This is like a booking guys, celebrate it as such - you've done everything in your power and you've made it right here, right now and the rest is left up to chance because you don't know what goes into the thought process after. The other person may have more of a following than you - doesn't make them better than you, the other person is a friend of cast/crew - doesn't make your shine any less, the other person has worked with them before - doesn't make it right but it has nothing to do with you. YOU were brilliant, YOU were liked maybe even loved, YOU made it thus far and YOU did YOU, that is all you can ask of your art. It will be your turn, it is coming but don't let the fact that they didn't pick you be a cause of discouragement...you are this close don't you dare give up now! So smile and smile real big, you've earned this moment.

A few weeks ago I saw a post in Actor's Access and submitted because the role sounded fun - a female character named "The Punisher." Yes, please! I also noticed it was through a casting director that had me called in a couple of times before and I had booked "Classic Alice" - https://youtu.be/Xe5X4KZT4B0 through her, so I sent a quick note stating how much I'd just love the opportunity to audition. See, I truly love to audition whether I book or not. I love getting up, getting ready, racing across town (not in traffic) and searching for the character in the words just to have a moment to be them in me. It's in this process that I enjoy every second to see how far I can push or how differently I can look at the scene to make it a bit different from what others may play. If you can't find joy in this ( and you must ), this business won't make you happy and you've got to find what makes you happy in order for your art to thrive. Most of us will be in this catch 22 of auditions for a very long time...years...before even seeing a silver lining so you must figure out how to make this fun and enjoyable as you wait your turn. See, I believe we each have a turn and it is up to you to hang in until your number is called and then it's preparation meets opportunity...then you soar and no one will be able to bring you down because you've put in the blood, sweat and tears to be right where you are. So, I get the notification that they're calling me in and I'm off...with a start of a good breakfast of course.

Since this role sounds fun, I make myself gluten free pancakes with blueberries and slivered almonds...with strawberries on top...and whip...yes, lots of whip because a well fed body makes for a stronghold against tension and stress when dealing with these nerve wracking situations of auditioning - HA. Eat well, perform better!!! Make your auditions mini celebrations of good treats and you'll see how much your art thanks you back...whatever your ritual of thanks to your body/mind, let that keep you on your path, you need it and your work will shine through because of it.

The sides are fun...a full page monologuing and then a scene...3 pages total but a blast. The room is full with the director, producer, writer, casting and lead actors, nice to feel this type of energy in the room on the first audition, so you never know, be prepared. I like to read my audition pieces in classes because it's not always one on one when you walk in and having a room full of people just watching every move you make can be off putting so practice alone and practice with peeps just to get some of the nervous ticks out. Some of them recognize me from the "Colony" and we speak about that and just like that, I'm done. Outta the room and back into my car and home. I hear nothing in the next couple of days so I let it go.

About a week later, I get a text from my manager saying the producer is trying to get a hold of me. YAY, it's for a chemistry, screen test callback. They want to see how I work with the leads as well as the other actors involved with 5 new pages and a day to get them in my brain. I know the character as I see her so I just have to get these words into my brain which is a done deal because when you get on a roll with auditions, you start seeing the same phrasing of words which will make the memorizing easier since you know the intention. No need to stress, the words come because you know the character so don't feel overwhelmed when this happens. Also realize, if your callback is with the same lines, don't change a thing unless you're tweaking it to make your choice more complete but don't do a different read, don't go get help unless they understand how you read it the first time, DO NOT CHANGE, be ready for change but don't you do something you think they may now want to see because they want to see what you've done and if you can do it again with maybe different ideas. I didn't have time to read this with anyone else but my beast but it was enough to get my intentions and to listen. I arrive an hour early, the window on their building is pretty cool so, since I'm auditioning for a fun character, I decide a selfie with a female superhero is in order for inspiration of course ( don't judge ) and I'm in the bathroom taking selfies after I change...it was hot and there was no way I'm wearing a jacket, jumpsuit and boots walking around.

There's 2 of us for the "Punisher" role at 1p along with 2 Big Guys playing the same role and another female playing another character. The set up is with lights and 3 cameras set at different angles with the director, writer/actor, producer, casting and leads along with us auditioning. I go in first with the other female since we have a scene together, get to read it twice which I'm happy for because I totally flubbed somewhere in the first take because that's how I roll. The scene after I nail but the director liked both takes and asked me to do a couple of things different for the second just to see how that may look. They keep the other gal and I'm sent outside as the other gal playing the role of "Punisher" now steps in...I take a selfie, because round 2 is coming up! The other gal I had a scene with comes out and one of the Big Guys go in with the other gal playing the Punisher, she then exits and I get called back in with one of the big guys and now the leads are in the scene. I get to fake kick (threw that in...it said punch but why punch when I also know how to kick) and punch the lead with a few notes on the next take. They let the other guy go and bring the other 6'7 enormous guy in and we do the scene, then one more time with notes and I get to improv 3 different endings because they like what I'm doing. Improv is real guys and not always in the context of comedy...I'm beginning to see more theatrical auditions ending with some improv so get into a class that does theatrical real improv as well as the comedy - I have to keep up with that myself, maybe a Groundlings/Second City/UCB course is in order but since my passion lies in theatrics for now, I'm being slow on the go. Luckily, my classes at Lifebook - http://www.lifebookacting.com/ push the theatrical improv and I feel ready regardless for these moments so make sure you're doing all that you can do to feel fantastic so there is no excuses in the room. You can leave it all in there, you give it all you got and walk out with no regrets, that's the way I've felt leaving rooms now...knowing you did your job to the best of your abilities is a gift. There is no would've, should've, could've at that moment and you don't beat yourself up in the car. You did your thang and they'd be lucky to have a professional like you on set! So I celebrate...with food from my other favorite vegetarian spot http://veggiegrill.com/ because I'm still 5 days on and 2 days off...even on my audition days - I celebrate, just differently now but it's all good and delicious because I can't do otherwise!

Then I go get inspired by supporting other works of art by other artists and just having fun...like at kids birthday parties. Nothing takes you back to wonderment like getting lost in something else, so go see something new, something old but marry yourself to this idea that you're in this for the long ride and therefore must stimulate your senses on other art besides your own to keep focus and grounded on what you want to do as well! Yes, that's my balloon bulldog courtesy of Tianna's 12th because I'm a kid at heart, "Tony Tango" on the big screen was hilarious - a mix of Napoleon Dynamite with Nacho Libre in the Tango world, seeing my friends Brendan & Stina at the 2015 Hollywood Fringe Festival (did 4 Tree Plays because of him last year) in "Catherine" - http://www.hollywoodfringe.org/projects/2260?tab=tickets, one show left tonight & tomorrow (6/26 & 6/27) as pay what you can and "The Heir Apparent" at http://ictlongbeach.org/ because I've performed there in "Flyin' West" and I auditioned for this. It's great to be in your own projects but it's always nice to see what you didn't book or audition in as well...it'll motivate you to no ends! GO GET 'EM!!!

See you at the next audition....

The Glamorous Life Of Auditions - Day 21

Years ago, I did this small show on the Discovery channel called "The Colony" which was a social experiment. This was a study on psychological breakdown as well as building...I had quit the business for years but when offered the part I decided to check it out although I felt I wasn't a good fit because of lack in experience. However, I was convinced and went away for 60 days dealing with strangers who became life long friends, ate rats and whatever else we could get our hands on and discovered a stronger mental side of myself that coped with the show as well as the aftermath. See, it wasn't so bad dealing with the issues that came up with the show...it was the hatred from people after. The judgement and assumptions of one's personality and character based on a show's cut for T.V., not seeing a full story or even knowing some of the truths...I realized then, that people who don't like you, won't like you and there is nothing you can do about it. You can explain away but it's not your job to convince someone to understand that regardless of how you may feel about them, you would never wish the worse on them - that you'd run into a burning building for them or stop in the rain to help them out because that is the core of who you are. As the show aired, I saw headlines that read "Leilani Smith Is Worthless" etc...did it hurt, of course but did I learn to tune it out and move on...INDEED. The biggest lesson I learned was LOVE. I was going to choose love...love of it all.

These are some of the messages I get today...HA! As artists, we have to stay mentally prepped and nothing does it better than your first hate mailers and they are vicious, but so is this industry. Understand, you as a person must deal with people who have no identity and wanting to be heard but learn to brush off bad comments as well as good. Know who you are...realize all your strengths and weaknesses and take that into the room. You are you and no one else can be that nor take that from you whether they like you or not but making them like you won't be your goal because people are people with an array of opinions.

No need to be jealous of someone else in the room because what you offer is something no one else can - PERIOD! If you work on you, if you focus on you, there is no other competition so just be the best you that you can be. Work on your art, your health and your mind/soul...fill the well with goodness so that when people give you their worse, you aren't affected - you don't take that in the room or hold onto it if you feel that in the room. Negative energy isn't welcomed in your space and when it does come, you use it because you are strong/ready to repurpose that. People will hate you...WHO CARES! Surround yourself with people that know you, support you, love you and push away the rest. People love to judge, be one that tries not to. Be true, stay strong and don't let anyone take your shine, because the next piece of art is looking for you, your talent, your work - you just gotta be present when it comes.

Another home audition...another chance to share my work. Although this material was darker, I decided to play it differently because of my personality - it's okay to choose a choice that you know isn't what they wanted to see, maybe you'll change their mind, maybe they'll hate it, maybe they won't ever call you back in...again, WHO CARES! This business is too big/vast, one bridge burned won't make or break your career...someone out there is looking for you don't focus on the ones that don't get you, find the ones that do and go give them the glory of all that is YOU. Let the hating begin but let it end in you...you are powerful!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 20

The business of show business can be daunting...not only do we have to keep focus on our craft but it's the business that will keep you steadfast. There are more talented people that have quit than have kept fighting because there is no rhyme or reason in the "making." People who could care less about the work and are in it to become famous can make it tomorrow and the people who take classes, work their craft, study and know how to break down a scene can be in this for 20 - 30+ years before becoming recognized. Unfair...truly but as artists we're in it for the long haul regardless and we rejoice when we see other artists that have fought, clawed and damn near knocked people over with their talent. They kept going when others decided it was over because it's too difficult to keep on sometimes...the rejection can and will get to you at some point and time but it is up to you to start enjoying this process. Realize that an audition is a chance, a call back is significant - you're just inches away but you have no control over anything but you at this point and the booking is great but not the end all be all. The casting director now knows your work, they like you, they remember you, they become your fans and they call you in repeatedly when no one else does because they know you deserve it. Thus creating a fan base for your work...they know they can rely on you and they'll keep pushing you until you book from them and then it's a relationship. Keep at 'em, drop postcards in the mail for them, send them updates of your work, let them know what you're doing now because they will remember you for years whether you book from them or not. As an artist, you have to stay on top of this part of the business...we all want to create but we also need a network of people that believe in us and know what we're doing outside of just coming in to see them every once in awhile. I try to keep up with everyone by sending postcards (especially when doing theatre) and newsletters after a booking etc. at least once every 2-3 months. Time consuming, indeed but not only do you keep yourself in the loop of these busy bodies, you build a net for yourself of claiming you're working and you'll keep working until you see them again.  Audition, callback, repeat...then boom, you're booking!

 Quitting the business for some time and then coming back, I realized how many fans I had created although it was different. I realized how close I was to getting over the hump and had I known what I know now, I would've never stepped away. I was inches away and yet I couldn't see it because all I knew was that I was making it into producer sessions, getting that 3rd/4th callback, screen testing and still broke with no job 2 years later. Now there are short films, web series, indies etc all at the palm of your hands with more opportunities - DON'T WASTE IT! The time is now for us artists to create and get to these chances of expressing our art, the door is wide open and you just have to keep plugging away - to be able to submit yourself on a project instead of just hoping to hear from your agent, those days can be over if you choose it to be but you gotta put in business work. I'm learning to promote myself, be my own cheerleader because if not me, then who? My agent that gets 10%? It makes their job easier when it comes to pitching if you've been on top of the business because the CD feels like they know you, maybe have been wanting to call you in but now with this talk from your agent and all of your due diligence, they want to see you and that's how you got in the door. Then you blow them away with your work, you shine and you create that relationship of fans in which they keep calling you in until you book!

A couple of my newsletters to cd's below...free website, free newsletters...FREE, no excuses!

http://shoutout.wix.com/so/582b49f4-5190-4573-a329-69301575f3b7#/main 
http://shoutout.wix.com/so/0Kly96Gk#/main

I audition more now with keeping up my business, I'm starting to have a network of casting directors that believe in me regardless of whether I book or not. They know what happens in the room, they've even pushed for me but there are things that are out of their control as well so you've just got to keep giving them you. Yes it seems to take so long at times, but you'll become the better artist because of it, no one hit wonder for you because you know what this wacky business takes in order for you to survive.

I go into this audition for a pilot presentation and I don't hear anything for almost a week, Monday morning, I'm getting a call from my manager and agent that they want to see me today in a few hours for the callback. I look over the role, my outfit, my hair, eat real good for brain energy and I'm out the door to Hollywood Production Center. Paired up with other actors one at a time, then repeat with notes, don't know if I got it but I celebrated big time...this was an audition I knew I did what I could do, did better at the callback because I knew my character so the 8 pages thrown at me wasn't a big deal and realizing it's between me & another gal. That's all there is...that is all you can do because then it's about what they prefer and there is nothing you can do about that part, so let it go. Having the producer/writer/director pull you into the room and tell you how much they appreciate your work and your time/energy is your proof enough that you've done your art! Enjoy that moment...relish in it...CELEBRATE, don't worry about the "job," that'll come, that will definitely come!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 19

Had this baby, small audition that also turned into a callback at Westwood Productions for a short film called "Smile." I finally got to be a mom, which I've been told I don't look like which is funny...because what does a "mom" look like? It's as if once you reach parenthood, you change your whole physical being and become a washed out version of yourself to fit in or because you have no time now? I don't get this Hollywood Industry's vision of what "mom's" are and since I've always had a tiff with this issue, I'll go in on it as well. I've been told I'm not a "mom" type over and over again, I don't have the feel...hilarious, because only in L.A. and the fact that most stars are moms still doesn't change the idea for this business what a mom should look like...capris, flats and a loose type top - attractive, but not too attractive. HA! Which is why this audition with a French director was so eye opening as well as refreshing. I was ushered in the room alone and had my hair pulled back like many of the other auditions that require a professional look and upon looking at my picture, he politely asked if my hair actually looked like my headshot I had given him. I said "When it's pulled out, it looks exactly like that." He then asked for me to let it all go...WOW! He wanted full glory of hair at a "mom style" audition...YES!!!! And I released the Kracken!!!!

I realized at that moment (although I noticed it from foreign films/travel etc), that the world views "Moms" differently, they can see them as sexy, free, fun, beautiful etc...there was no "MOM TYPE" because there truly isn't one and people outside the corporations of the U.S. industry don't have the same perceived notions as to what is sexy...how old must you be, or what is a mom...how must you dress and look. Taking this in I realized this battle with whether I should straighten my hair all the time to look more conformed went out the window. I as an actress must change this "idea" I've had to fight against, not go along with it. I have a bohemian soul and look, why not in business, or as a mom or whatever!!! It is up to me to be strong and not change who I am, because I am all of these things with curly big hair...yes, I'll tame it or pull it back or whatnot but I will no longer fight the fact that this is who I am and there are people in business that look like me - there are moms out there that have hair wild and free and untamed - there are all different types of people out there that look just like you somewhere, no matter how "exotic" you've been told you were, so roll up those sleeves and get to work on creating your own box. Is it difficult...INDEED, will you get more rejection...YES, will you be the you that you want to represent and be...I HOPE SO. This business is already hard enough on just trying to be you, why add the element on trying to be something/someone else just to book. Some people fit into the requirements - GREAT for them...but if it isn't you, don't become disheartened, it is now your job to change their mind and respect you in the process for it. Now although I was the mom, this audition was soley based on the kid they chose and even though it stated in the script the kid was a boy, I saw girls and boys of all different nationalities that made my heart smile. They were open...open to any good possibilities that may lie behind someone that just wanted to audition and this is where we all strive to be. To be taken for our art, not what we look like but for what we bring to the role. There are more creative beings that are pushing for this, in front as well as behind the camera so let's join this good fight shall we and be the unique individuals that we are, so that we may represent this beautiful world! At my callback, the girl that came in with me, had long, curly, flowy hair and she looked like she could be my daughter. Be you, be bold, it'll come and you will make the mark needed for someone else needing a helping hand in. Let's change this industry's preconceived notions, one step at a time because that's what artist's do!

 Then, "Classic Alice" the web series/premiere happened. They shot on location, at YouTube and had a Premiere Party! There are good shows out there folks that don't require you to have the most of credits to be a part of it. They pay and they're shot well so don't pass them up just because of the pay because meeting other artists that respect and appreciate what you bring to the table are future connections for everyone involved.


 


https://youtu.be/mLLyv61BjPw - New Season, new episode...so happy to be a part of this project!

 Then you go eat...celebrate your survival and your goodness because you are making a difference, you do matter and the only way there is change is if you decide to do something about it! I treated myself to a vegan Sage lunch with cashew chocolate mousse cheesecake to boot...and yes, I ate it all!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 18

Most of us see out of state auditions as a "no-chance in hell" kinda thing, but what you do get is an opportunity to read for yet another role. This also gives you a chance to work on your camera, take your best take for the time being and get use to seeing yourself read (which I absolutely hate.) You start seeing what works and what doesn't on film and isn't that what film classes do??? Except now you're doing it with a chance to book! So as you start seeing out of state productions, submit away and ask in the notes section to see if they'll accept a video submission via eco-cast/self submission - I mean, why not! Practice makes perfect and the more you do it the more confident you'll become in this process. I figured, it's rough enough competing and staying ready in L.A., why not open my talents elsewhere just to see because you truly never know. They may get a local, they may get a star, they may - they may, but this is one more chance you've got as an artist to do something and try. I always take a look to see how long the shoot may be, the pay and the location. If it's $100 a day for a week's shoot in a spot you've never traveled to, then here's a paid vacay for your artistry - GO FOR IT! I actually like to do the read in 1-4 takes which resembles a real audition process in the room, this gives me some sort of anxiety that I may feel during the actual process except this time, I get to say I didn't feel that or I want a do over but I don't keep rehashing it. Simply do and let go because it is what it is...they either get you or not so don't feel pressure to make it "perfect," you'll be even better when you get to set with other actors, props etc. Oh, you get to use props during home video auditions which is awesome, helps with some of the realness you want without the mime affect in the room since most cd's aren't into you having props - bonus!

I got to send 2 videos off this week just because I asked, I really hadn't thought about it before but this year is a new year of new things and I want to make sure I'm getting my work in so that when it's time, I'm ready. When it's slow, that feeling of auditioning in the room will get lax, so keep working on that muscle by doing taped video auditions. This is a part of the process, so get use to it, you may be on another set and they want you for another role and you must deliver while working so preparation is key here. Practice now, I am...this is one of the first ones this year and I'm going to keep this process up since it ups my odds on working!

This is one of four best/worse takes...have a laugh but then go do it and keep doing it all the way to a booking!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 17

Ah, the wonderful world of deferred, non paying etc. for your work, gotta love this catch 22 you get put in as soon as you enter the world of being an artist. Not all deferred, non paying gigs are equal however and you must navigate these treacherous waters to fulfill what you need/want for your soul as well as business purposes. The media world has changed and some for the good, you now as an artist can go and shoot your own scene, make a clip and put together a reel if need be without the waiting on other people - which is brilliant...make use of this please, just make sure the lighting and sound quality are up to par, sooooooooo important. You don't need professionals but someone who understands these technicalities is invaluable, someone in your acting class does this...ASK, treat them to a home cooked meal and gas money etc, but get them on your set!

See, when you first start out in this wacky business you have no credits and no one wants to hire someone with no credits/experience. So here you are and there the business lies of "FREE" or "I'll pay you Tuesday for your work today" kinda deal and the problem is someone out there is willing to do it, all the time so this is perpetuated over  and over and over again - it's where you draw the line that matters. Decide now on how you want your work to work for you, nothing wrong with doing student films, the problem lies in the aftermath. Usually there is no pay, then on top of that, it's difficult to get your work after. Should you not do these...NO - but you should proceed with caution. Out of the many student films I had to do in the beginning of my career, I may have received copies of 2 - 3 at most so choose carefully. Go for the graduate, thesis program...they have to get it done in order to graduate, so you'll most likely receive a copy and that is the best bet as far as student projects go. Now, if it's a classmate's project, by all means do it...not only are you supporting another artist in your class but you may need the same in return, so go be an extra, carry a light but learn on your classmate's work on what you may need, get those connections and use them for your benefit. Helping someone with an exciting project in your class will only help your cause so don't be nonchalant about these. They definitely don't want to hear you whine about the tape so it'll be sent to you as soon as the editing is done and posted because they too know how that feels. Now on to the new hybrid of deferred...what's great about this is that with new media, you can become SAG through having a speaking role in one of these babies so if you're one not to do much extra work to try and go through the process of batting your lashes/beating your chest for a voucher, this route should be awesome for you. You don't get paid unless the show/movie etc gets picked up but hopefully they'll give you gas money and lots of food for your time but the problem is the quality of these projects, most of them you can shoot for yourself so make sure when you decide to do these that there is a reason. It's a role you've always wanted to play, something different for you to do, shot on a nice camera etc. so see who's attached, what they've done - go look at other works of those involved. It may very well surprise you who is doing what to get new work out there.

I don't usually do non paying because I've been through the ringer and I've built my tape but every now and then a role catches my eye. So I do my research and if it is festival bound or has good names attached then I submit because if I'm going to waste my gas, time, art and maybe even wardrobe to better the film then I must get something out of it. Plus, most of these do/will pay something now so even if it's $50 but a magnificent role, not only are you getting your SAG medical days in, you're getting a new credit on your resume, you're making new connections and you'll most likely get the copy for your reel. I ended up getting paid with 3 Trina Turk dresses on a set before, worth the shoot because not only was it fun but I got bonus clothes to use as well...it was nice to know that even though they couldn't pay me at that moment, that they compensated me in some form to say thank you for your time and work!

This industry has reworked itself as movie stars are now coming in and doing television, so the use to be guest stars/recurrings are now doing bigger co-stars/co-star work, so where does that leave you to build your resume and get your credits because you're competing against someone who's been on shows before, worked months, seasons etc. Don't feel daunted by all of this, just know what you must do and be smart on how you do  it so that you can compete with the new nuances of this business, make your work...work!


Decided to do this past audition because not only did the people involve have a nice resume themselves, but their past projects made festivals, they write a lot and are working in this industry so why not get involved with other creative beings because if we're going to share our art, why not with the very people who understand and appreciate it - other artists (there are always exceptions to the rule)!

So don't devalue your work, you as an artist deserve compensation for your art so figure out what that compensation is for you and then get it done. Eventually, you'll move on, be able to get bigger and different things but make sure what you're doing now will help you get there.

Don't forget to eat and eat well, your body, mind and work is depending on it!