I love auditions...really I do. I enjoy the process, the work put in, the opportunity to show your craft. I'm not a fan of the politics but auditioning is the spice 'o life! Never lose your wonder in this process, it'll make you bitter and unproductive. This is hard, this business is tough and the odds are basically stacked against you but you can either let that be your excuse or you can shove back with all your might and roar at the idea of creating your dream to life journey. For this very reason, you must work on your craft, your push in your art and find other avenues of discovering other aspects as well. You may have come in wanting to be drama but your power lies in comedy...that could be your in, don't hide from that challenge. Or vice versa or behind the camera or being an instructor or a casting director or an agent you wish you had. Whatever the end result is, if you do it with all your might, explore all the possibilities this industry can offer, you may walk away with not only your dreams in hand, but fulfillment as well. I always felt I was a dramatic actress but as I realized how expressive I can be, I learned to capitalize on my comedic instincts naturally. I noticed when I usually booked small roles here and there, it was more on the side of comedy so although I haven't been to the big schools like Groundlings, UCB or Second City, I made sure to play in my classes and not lean into my comfort zone. I don't believe you need "comedy" classes to be comedic but you do need an instructor who does understand the timing of such work in order to push another facet of your work. Hopefully you're in a place that does both, if not, push for both and give yourself creative freedom to work both because you never know what you may end up booking the most or why. I know I've got the gift of a "serious/dramatic" actress but I have this silly side to me that is guarded for only people close to me, when I realized I could use that, pushed to use that by my beast and fill my art well even more, I took advantage of that knowing more opportunities would come because of it. Comedy is hard, challenging and focused with timing but if you can wrap your head around it, you may open yourself up to other fantastical possibilities. Don't cut yourself off from exploring everything you possibly can while on this journey, you've got the time, do it now...work your art now so that every time you've got a chance to show case your shine, you do it confidently in all of your majestic being. I love both, I want it all and hence the reason I don't shy away from theatre in the process as well. Another audition for ICT in their production of "Doubt" as Mrs. Muller...a role I've had my eye on but I'm also understanding because I'm in another play while this one goes into rehearsals and I'm also AEA now and since it's a smaller role, it's out of my hands. Getting to do it was worth it all and even though it was in the midst of me shooting a show and racing to rehearsals, this audition fell right in line that it was too perfect of an opportunity for me to let slide (although my hair wasn't what I wanted it to be - had fake blood in it the night before, bags under my eyes from the shoot and feelings of tiredness) because sometimes I do auditions not needing to book them now but to play so that when it comes up later (and this will come back up later), I can kill that as well - when it's yours, it will be yours and I claim that someday, I'll get this particular role. Someone will give me the opportunity regardless of how it's been done, who's done it and whatever preconceived notions they may have, I'll get a shot to do it and I will do it gladly. I remember doing this in class years ago, with Sharon Spence of Lifebook and we worked that scene so much it all came back quickly when I had little time to really dig in. What a joy to read for the Artistic Director again who helped give me a shot in "Flyin' West" and a casting director that has brought me in and keeps bringing me in regardless of the situation at hand. I decided I wanted a southern accent on her to lean away from any comparisons recently although set in NY '64. Make choices, stick by them and have a reason if asked, they'll respect that when questioning but I didn't get that...I got tears in the eyes of the people I'm proud to know and walked out of there knowing I did what I wanted to do. Every chance I can get to see Michael Donovan I take because I want him to see my consistent work ethic as well as my range. I know most of the stuff may not be for me because of various reasons but I also know he takes pride in knowing he can call me in now. Go in, make your mark like only you can and leave. Don't let all the excuses you can give yourself hold you back on stamping your mark in the room, they won't be able to change, make different choices or give you a shot if you hurt yourself by not going in the first place. Change your outlook first, doing that will eventually change theirs...GO DO THAT!!! I didn't get this role but I just found out that another actress I know has booked it (which I love knowing someone that I know got it), congrats Tamika and I can't wait to see you do your thang up there!!!
I raced from that audition to my rehearsals (make sure to stop and appreciate the flowers) for Shakespeare which have been my life for the past few weeks. I've felt I haven't had a firm holding on the ground but I'm so excited to have completed a project that I will forever hold dear in my heart. I love that I've gotten these opportunities out of the blue to be a part of productions that I've never had a chance before on because this is what's keeping me inspired and on my toes about what kind of actress I want to become. I've said yes to as many things I could possibly do without driving myself mad and I've turned down just as many because I'm already pushed to my max but boy am I ever so happy to have leaned into my work and said yes instead of no to some of these projects happening now. I got to work on my first ever re-enactment show as a lead with 6 days of work, pages of dialogue and unscripted improv along with aging/fun make-up. I've never worked like this before and pushing my art to another level just allowed it to all sink in...I'm doing what I've been dreaming to do. All those classes I could barely afford, pictures needed to be taken and then more money spent to put them up on sites, collecting and putting together reels and getting clothes to up my audition factor as well as spending money just to get to and from said auditions with no guarantee of a job, even creating, writing and being the lead in my own short - whew. All worth it to play this role, to get a chance to really push the envelope in my training and stamina as well as peak my curiosity in other genres of acting as well - soap operas here I come...maybe, if you'll have me - HA! I was able to shoot at different locations and get to know the this cast/crew as well, which was nothing short of amazing. Understand I was given this opportunity by someone that watched me do comedy on another set, someone I had no clue that was watching me, someone that would later be the defining factor on giving me this chance to shine. You never know who is watching you on set, what they may be doing next, what they're trying to accomplish as well and that they may want to include you. Had to mention this because one of the characters was an actor that's been around, although I've never heard of him I started getting e-mails recently about him being in this and that, doing stand up etc so to put a face with a name was exciting for me. I watched as he had this aggressive body language as well as a gruffness when speaking to certain people on the production...I watched the reactions of the people on set and cringed as he was either oblivious or so full of himself because that was who he is. He spoke to some with kindness but if he didn't know who you were, he was going to make you realize he was the "actor" on set. Watching all this, knowing how wonderful each and every person was on this set working and how truly lucky I was to be surrounded by this type of cast/crew, I just made a mental note as I'm sure all of them did, to not support nor recommend this person for anything. It was amazing seeing this flippant behavior on a truly wonderful set, filled with hard working, humble people that were just out to make a show. I've always said, money nor fame doesn't make someone a jerk...money/fame brings what is already there out more so. You can act like this person if you so choose to do so, but do not blame anyone else when they don't want to work with you again or may have not so good words when someone they know wants to hire you. Always leave the set with everyone wanting to work with you again...including the PA's...they're on set for a reason as well guys. Know that everyone there is there to make a project happen, you are not the end all be all, you are a part of the picture do not become the problem...they've had to deal with those long before you and will have to continue it long after you're gone. No one is beneath you in this project, nor are they above - everyone must contribute in order to make this happen so leave all that unnecessary extra stuff at home because trust me when I say, I watch and I talk when needed. It's rare that I get to recommend but I will quickly throw a name under the bus if I've watched you demean people on a set especially when uncalled for and that includes passive-aggressive behavior. When I say everyone was ridiculously wonderful on this set, I mean it! If you ever see any of these faces on set, know you're in good hands and you will get the chance to play like the artist you are and they will make you look good for doing so. Even after your last camera day, when you are wrapped, they call you on set and cheer for you - how awesome is that! Aundrea Posey, thank you ever so much for introducing me to such a fantastic opportunity as well as one of the most amazing sets I've ever had the chance to work thus far. Thank you for believing in my work without having to see it all before stepping foot on your set, introducing me to the director Greg who made me feel safe to work and allowed me free reigns to just go and be, was one of the most freeing/rewarding aspects of this shoot. You guys make my art easy to do...all that trust given to me was beautious for my soul and I will never forget...I can't wait to work with each and every one of you all again. You guys made my long days easy, can't thank you enough for this experience given - thanks for making my face look good/bad when needed to the adventurous make up dept., props for always caring what I looked like, electrical/dp/gaffing/camera for making me look wonderful on film, the sound dept for making sure my voice was heard, wardrobe for pushing my look and jokingly called me out when asked to keep the sweater on, I found a way to take it off during the shot because it was too damn hot but you respected my choices anyway. Hope you all enjoyed my home made sugar scrub and if I missed you this time, I won't the next! These type of sets come far and few so appreciate them when they do come, people are watching and I am ever so happy I was able to share this experience with another actor I had the chance to recommend and he didn't disappoint! You never know where your opportunities lie nor where they will come from, don't crush them before you can squeeze more out of them!!! Regardless of the set, be the person you want people to be to you and you will create the happiness you're so chasing after...BE THE REAL, BEAUTIFUL YOU and the opportunities will keep coming!
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 20
This audition was so out of the blue and from a producer I had worked on during my time on "Love Handles," the web series now on TVOne - which was another one of those small deferred pay union jobs I had to take because of the brilliant writing and improv comedy openness given that turned into an extremely cute project, now on a promoted website which in turn has given me another opportunity to
audition for 2 different roles on the same episode. Small things that you choose wisely, usually will turn out for the best, so do what you must to be a part of these when you can. I wish I had at least 2 full days on the sides, being in the midst of memorizing my Shakespeare, doing ADR for "Mistresses" and having to work as a cover at my regular job was hindering me from really committing to the work as I would've liked. This is where training allows you to just rest because I had to basically get 2 character reads in my psyche while still trying to take care of my regular business. I decided as 2 different characters I would play up the fact that my hair was in braids as one and hair down as the other to show my different looks that could work - you've gotta market as many assets as possible whenever you're given the chance, don't shrug it off, it'll be a missed opportunity for you to show how different you can look at once. I did the best I could, hoping I didn't embarrass the producer who was trying so hard to get me this audition because it couldn't have come at the most inopportune time, which is usually how it works. I felt I was solid but nothing extraordinary because of my lack of real time with the material but I trusted my work would still speak for itself. I always feel my auditions are what they are, I add my sprinkle of different but you don't have time as you would after booking it to really dive in but you hope that casting can see that and give you the opportunity because you were not only solid but different as well. Plus, if that audition peaked your curiosity wait until you see me on set with some time with the material. Keep knowing that my arties, you've worked hard, sacrificed much, rest in your art whenever you can, they have no clue on how you're going to kill it if given the chance to shine...and you will shine.
I was messaged shortly thereafter that I had booked the lead role in this new re-enactment series (because she trusted me with it and pushed me because) and that I had 6 days of work to look forward to along with a plethora of emotional states as well as aging looks. Seriously?!?! Never done one, always have been curious and to me, it feels like a soap opera, with the training of lines being thrown at you at times. Wonderfulness! A dream, thank you very much!!! So thankful I had this opportunity I was going to pass up because of timing but decided to push it instead. It's been 5 days on set (today is the 5th - worked at Silver Dream Studios - Anaheim, DC Stages - Downtown and a home in the valley today) and I've learned that my art works for me like none other. In the midst of a very heavy, emotional scene (I've had plenty now within this amazing episode) they had to change the set to get the camera in for the close up. I was a bit nervous with everyone running around, changing things and the director having to shoot another scene during the process that I wouldn't get to where I needed and the way I was in that moment but I relaxed. For some deranged reason, I wanted to test my ability as an actor to see what distractions may take me out - crazy yes, but what better time than this. I chatted with the wonderful crew during the time instead of being in some corner trying to "stay in." I smiled, laughed and engaged in regular conversation as if we were moving on...not into my close ups. The amazing director that is so actor friendly I could just hug him so hard, came back in apologizing for having to leave for a bit, asked if I was okay and saw the shot set to be. I asked him if I could get a moment to get back in and as the camera rolled, within 15 seconds I was where I needed to be. Not pushing it to go over the top because it's a close up but right where I specifically had left off with tears streaming down my face...I felt so empowered by my craft at that very moment. I know now beyond a shadow of doubt that not only could I handle myself on any set with any person but I would be able to perform as I am needed because I've pushed my craft for this. You work hard for these moments and you hope that you can be there and there are times you are, times you aren't but you keep learning until one day, it's just there. The work you've put in has now become a muscle, ready to explode when called upon...enjoy it, you deserve it, it's been a long time coming and a road hard fought. I never felt crying was a mark of a great actor, it was in the emotional states of that crying that intrigued me...am I able to pull it up at a moments notice, can I go just a little in, now a lot, now explode with it? How do I hold some of it back, how do I fit that feeling of wanting to let it all go...this was my journey into the tearful side of acting...whatever your side of it may be, just know there is always more to learn, so keep digging, don't stop...can't wait to see what's next in this process! Getting to be on set for so many days, getting to really get into this person has been an absolute nudge telling me I'm on track...I CAN do this, You CAN do this...LETS DO THIS!!!
I may get some back lash on this but I will agree to disagree here on this subject because I've been in the business way too long to allow someone else's view of this industry to dictate what that means for me or my career. This industry wasn't built with me in mind, nor the unions - when you can have a 10+ years hit running series with basically no ethnic actors, based in NY and it be the norm, you've got to take notice of that and realize as an ethnic actor you are the captain of your own ship. I smile when I see someone that has no clue on what it takes to be a minority in this business try and tell me how to "make" it, because what works for some, definitely doesn't work for others and that includes the races. Look, I love being Sag/Aftra but there were years I couldn't get an audition because I wasn't in that process (still had to pay dues), I didn't have Facebook, Actors Access, L.A. Casting etc, I had to rely on my agent/manager submitting and hoping they did - for my benefit not theirs. Even as I look back now, I've got to wonder how many roles they screwed up for me, turned down or didn't even submit to. Understand your power to steer your own ship folks, today you can see the low budget films, the new media productions and submit away at your leisure and know you're involved in your career but that wasn't always the case so take advantage in doing your own due diligence in making your dreams happen because no one can push for your art as well as you can. So here is the fine line and I walk on it with much care because you must as an aware artist...know your own options. Hearing someone of a particular race complain about their lack of auditions and knowing deep down that if you cut that down by 75% that is my outlook on this industry has made me very aware of what I must do and it's not always black and white. Hearing people speak less of non-union or Fi-Core has always made me cringe because being a minority, I'm not getting the same opportunities to compete, my level of playing field is so much lower so I must do what I must do in order to push my agenda into the mix of being a working actor. Now get this, I'm not Non-Union nor am I Fi-Core but I will tell you as a struggling, minority actor that if the right role comes along, I will consider it period because that lead role on that film may get me the nod I need to get me into the room as a Guest Star on the popular show because now I've got that credit. I'm not saying go crazy because you've got to understand what type of artist you are - are you here for the money or the work? Both? Because while you are judging, some celebrity is shooting with a production out of this country because the union doesn't have jurisdiction and doing a buy out just because...that is still non-union work folks, great money paid but if you think those companies don't know what they are doing you are misinformed. People want you to feel guilty or less than if you accept work that they consider beneath you...there are amazing union sets as well as non-union and janky union sets as well as non-union, it is up to you to decide how to maneuver in these waters. If it's a fantastic piece of work, written well, with amazing cast and crew tied in, you're doing something you've never had the chance/opportunity to be a part of and you know this will only further your work, consider it...you can become Fi-Core for that particular project and then go back. It's implemented for a reason, someone understood the need for this part of the industry and now we have options. No one is paying your broke down car fixes, your gas to get to and from, your need to pay for classes and headshots...you are but understand why you're doing it. We "suffer" for our art in so many ways, we take theatre work that in essence you end up paying for to be a part of the production at $9 a show or even nothing (which I will gladly do on the right projects now), maybe book a big SAG gig or two a year if you're lucky because it's not about how solid of an actress you are at times, it's opportunity. Someone understood that and created Fi-core in the unions for that very purpose, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I love my unions, but I will not miss out on opportunities that will change my course to further my endeavor on becoming the working actor I want to be, do I prefer Union work (this is all I've mostly done) - of course. I understand that most great work is in the union but every now and then, if some fantastic job arises I will consider it if not do it because sometimes those type of chances don't come around for me being who I am. I've done maybe 2-4 non-union jobs in all of my career thus far, but each one helped me further my goals as an actor and pleasantly surprised me by being just as professional, safe and wonderful to work with as any other set I've been on. Trust me when I say it sucks that I'm even put into this position as an artist, but know and embrace the options provided at times, it may further your work more than you can imagine and open your perspective on work that may have never considered you otherwise. You shouldn't miss an opportunity that may change your course for the better. Like I've said, I've done less than a handful of these jobs but I will never knock it nor you for doing something in your best interest to further your experience in this already difficult business but use it and move on...
Got to celebrate a Born Day of a gifted make-up artist that has done my face graciously on many of occasions. Being an introvert, it's difficult for me to get motivated for outings, even precious ones but I try to remember that my human connections with people I love must be cherished and thankfully I have a beast to remind me of that when I get too set in my hominess! Although I have to force myself to chat and remember not to lean on my beast because of comfort, I do try to take the bull by the horns when given the opportunity because I will not shurk in the face of challenge...not even if it's belly dancing - HA! So, I watch and cheer for the woman out there in the midst of everyone just relaxing at the bar/club in SLS lobby belly dancing her tushie off. I see women giving the side eye, while men try to look but not really...it feels so off, so I yell and hoot for her. Things start to change, people start to see it differently and she dances in front of me for bit of a song and I cheer/clap to let her know I see her and appreciate her art. Next time she comes out, she comes to me and pulls me up to dance...I DO IT!!! It took everything in me to just be and let the moment go. Sometimes, you just gotta get up and dance your way into celebrating getting out of your comfort zone...go DANCE like you don't care, whether people appreciate it, watch it or not, do it for yourself, to fill your art well! DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!!!!
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 19
Another nurse audition for a Original Amazon Prime Streaming series for a casting office I haven't been to - Barden & Schnee. Love making new connections and gaining new fans...it's the only way to keep planting those seeds to work, this town has so many casting offices so understand you have a gazillion chances to make your mark! What's been great is the new turn to be able to even to audition for these type of roles...10+ years ago it was not the case especially when I went from not having my hair straight anymore to wearing it very natural, my auditions took a very big nose dive so I see the acceptance happening, although slow it's coming. Realize that sometimes people don't see you as a certain "type" in this industry, it is a very "first looksie" at times but that doesn't mean you give up and walk away, it means you've gotta shine brighter for them to understand your body of art and to do that, you keep at it, you keep accepting different roles in which you can hopefully play differently and if this industry isn't giving them to you, there are other avenues. Low budget films, new media productions, friends shooting projects or even your project...you're not being seen for anything more than what you look like...no problem. The other thing to do is literally taking pictures in the particular uniform since lack of imagination can run amok in this line of work. Grab a nurse top from your local thrift store and fire away...just do the basics if need be - cop (undercover - so you don't have to buy a full uniform,) nurse/doctor & business. The rest is just extra but this should cover all your bases for the most part when you go out for the smaller co-star roles...ridiculous, yes...needed, yes at times. It might take years to get to this point as it did me but now that I'm here, I'm fully ready to go because even though this industry may have been slow in recognizing me for whatever reasons, I kept preparing...studying my craft, working my art and pushing for different outlooks. I decided since the description read friendly nurse that I would play that but with some concern, asked to read it efficiently next - which was simple and thrown away but then asked to read it as if annoyed by his call because he had been doing it all day - DONE with some laughter from the room. 3 very different reads done back to back to back with a moment in between to get it and go...that's what years of waiting for an audition and training all the while will get you so don't ever look at it for a moment as a waste of time. You putting so much effort into your craft (as long as you're being challenged to grow) will pay off, you will shine brighter than most, you will be prepared for it all because instead of taking the easy way through it, you busted your tushie to make it happen and it's happening. I allowed my confidence to waiver because of non-bookings because that was my goal...now it's about doing the work and making sure they see that I'm going to bring a different read to the show, they'll get a new layer with me, it's just up to them to risk it but I've done my job. I almost raced out of there not realizing the casting wanted to get to know me after the read, so to my pleasant surprise I was able to chit chat for a moment making more of a connection as well as work. I never push for this, I'm usually in and out not wanting to be hailed as the chatty chit chat but when casting initiates take full advantage, have something to say and still understand that moment to leave, don't over stay your welcome, leave them laughing, wanting to see more of you. Love offices that really love actors, that can see good work and appreciate it by being friendly/supportive, these are the places you must get into so you can see that not all casting is alike...nor actors for that matter. Left knowing I did what I had walked in to do even while my mind was racing to get across town for my show! Go in and give 'em what you got, you've been waiting for this shot - your art will not let you down, just believe that.
Gotta call during this next set of hecticness to come in for some ADR work on the Mistresses - yippee or not? I wasn't sure what they kept, if they decided to cut my line and maybe put another line in instead with just my back showing...urghhhhhh but at least it's another day of some work and I could use all those days please! Get there with 5 minutes to spare and head in...there's Porto's baked goods on a plate and with that I accepted some green tea to go with the 1/2 blueberry muffin someone cut just for me to have a taste. I'm thankful for this bit of a treat seeing that I had raced out of the house with not a bite to eat, listening to the bustle of people coming and going along with the work going on in some of the rooms. This is what I want to do...constantly, consistently and so I claim it, every bit of it as you should. I see my scene and go in where I thought the line was changed to in my scene for my first go and they're like "Oh no, can you say the line after the three beeps." That's the beginning of my scene, they've added a line and then they go to my face so I'm still in it - WAHOO! I do it a few times, adding a walk up to the stand to keep the feel of the scene and I'm out within 15 minutes and I'm not cut - happiness!!! Now, right back into rehearsals for "Twelfth Night," along with an audition for a re-enactment series I need to get off right away, I've never been so busy and so crazy, yet so excited for it all. I've worked many years to get right here, to be noticed for my different outlook, slowly but surely it's all finally giving me a shot and I know I'm ready for it.When it's your time, step into that light and let all those years of hard work, sacrifice and training knock them out, you've earned this...YOU GOT THIS!
Feeding my art well with a play to stay inspired to work and work hard indeed. If you surround yourself with artists that are striving, it is inevitable that you will be inspired to strive harder, don't sit in your bubble doing only your things, branch out and notice what others are doing. This shouldn't come from a place of jealousy because you already know that what you bring is your own unique footprint to the role and no one can claim your part except you. So someone else got the role but you know you smashed that part...trust that, know it and allow it to be. I didn't get this role in the play I wanted but I was already tied to my Shakespeare as well but I decided since given the opportunity that I'd check out the play of "Vonya, Sonya, Masha & Spike" at ICT - the place "Flyin' West" won Best Ensemble at the 2016 NAACP awards. I've been trying to get back on that stage ever since, it was my first role in my first major production that got me to my EMC card which eventually lead to my full membership in AEA so I have sentimental feelings when it comes to this theatre now. I raced in and sat down while trying to charge my phone a bit and was spoken to by a slightly familiar face that asked if she knew me? I didn't recognize her which I stated but she asked if I was an actress and when I said yes and maybe from a show she happily acknowledged me from the audition. HA - it's the director of the show. We chatted but she simply told me how much she loved my performance but that the role was basically for someone non union which I remembered coming up in the audition process...my instincts were correct for this. Again, this had nothing to do with my read, my art but with the fact that the budget wasn't within her means to include me...most things are out of your hands guys, know this and sleep well. The great thing about the show was that everyone shined at one time or another and I left knowing I would've killed this role...even while leaving seeing an old picture of Cheri and myself on the wall here made me know I'll be back one day soon. With that, I've got an audition next week for ICT once again...send me goodness guys, it's an amazing role that would start right when "Twelfth Night" is over.
Within the past couple of years I've progressed to more natural means of body needs and finally had to share this gem of an idea to use in your daily life if you're so inclined to check it out. I was composting all of my egg shells but wanted to know if there was any other use for them, especially my soy free, organic egg shells. Found out they're a great source of all natural calcium that's better than calcium pills and it's less waste for your system and the environment if you're just throwing them out. So now, I have 2 sets of egg shells, the regular organic egg shells for the garden and the soy free, organic egg shells for my body and it's as easy as 1, 2, 3...please look it up, got my answers via this googling and going to natural mama's site but there are plenty to chose from so check it out. I rinse them out after cracking, let dry on counter, then when I get enough like 2 dozen, I boil them for 10 minutes in hot water, then let them cool, place on pan to dry overnight and then bake at 200 degrees for 10 minutes the next day or that evening if I started out early. Crush them into my hand blender that has another fine grind blades and blend that until a soft, powdery substance. Voila, your very own calcium to use instead of buying those pills all the time. I sprinkle a little on oatmeal but I usually use about 1/4 teaspoon in a blended smoothie with very little idea/taste that it's in there. Love finding other avenues to treat my body as well as causing less waste whenever I can. Go ahead, find wonderful uses of the small things and watch your artistry grow as you search for those small things in your performance as well - ROCK ON Arties!!!!
With that, got a wonderful e-mail asking to pin me for the Deputy role in a small town that I would love to be a part of. It not only has wonderful producers but the writing is fabulous with a role I have yet to play. Never heard of pinning but it's where they have a few people in mind for the role and they ask for availability as well as your interest. For me, I was winning when I got the opportunity to audition and show them my take on this character, the fact that they responded to my choices, understood the risks and are now considering me for the show is icing baby! Realize what you do is only what you can do...the rest is up to the universe, so have fun and enjoy this ride because it is truly about the journey!!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 18
No fuss audition for home and although they state the earlier the better, with my hectic schedule, I'll get it in when I can. Never feel like you've got to put a rush on these when given a time frame, I don't believe in the the sooner the better or first one in makes the best impression or last one out is remembered. Leave all that mumbo jumbo out of your work, just go and do your work, risk it all and call it a day, you will kill it whether you're the first, middle, last or somewhere in between all of those...you will kill it because you've put in the work to do so. I usually get these babies in by the last day with about a few hours to spare when I'm crazy busy but when I've got time, a day or two just like an audition I have to go to is what I give myself so I can keep as close to the audition process as possible. It's part of my training to use when I can but again, I don't stress on this time line factor because they gave you one so use it...that's why! Remember this is fun, so find the fun in it, even if it's as simple as wearing your hair full for the intro and then pulled back for the scene to give them a cleaner look of you. Do whatever you feel will help you see that you gave it your all for this work whatever that may seem to be for you, there is no right and only way in this business, this work loves risks so go ahead and jump! This audition is for a Sci-Fi low budget taking place in a ship and I'm just speaking directly into the camera having to go through it because it's what the scene calls for. The beauty of these type of scenes is that you're in the privacy of your own space, to get to a place of emotional drive and the time you can give yourself is open ended. Take advantage, use this time to push it because you need these types of work to get your flow so when you do step into an office you've had practice on what triggers you, what makes you get there and to get there quickly because casting doesn't have time for you to search your "dark" space when they're rolling and have 6 other actors waiting in the next room. Practice makes perfect so practice away when given the chances and these home auditions are perfect training grounds, you've just got to submit to them and do the call when you get them. Again, auditioning as much as possible, whenever a good opportunity pops up will only increase your flow as an artist so don't cut it off because it's low pay or not shooting in your area, you'll figure it out when you cross that bridge but take advantage of this new structure in getting another chance to be seen. About 2 takes down and I feel like I got it...again, don't question your work just because it's you and you're at home...do your takes but don't get so meticulous with your idea of perfection. Yes you can fix some snags that happen but don't make it into a bigger deal because that can be habit forming which you'll carry into a room. You never get to see your audition at casting so why scrutinize every wrinkle, snarl or lip quiver. Trust your work and keep it moving - as you do so, this will be your way in all auditions but you must train your body, mind and spirit to accept that so start here, right now and learn to let it be. Did it, sent it and DONE! NO stress just another way to get in some play time...use it for your training folks, you'll start seeing what they see and learn that you have to go in understanding you have one shot in the room that you're trying to turn into 2 - 3 more, if you don't just nail it the first time you rock star you or just learning to do it in a different way because they asked. If you get a scene less than a minute long, I'd send 2 takes edited together as well so they can see changes...fight for your art guys, you deserve it and this is one way to do it so think outside the box, rest there my Arties.
Towards the middle of the Greek madness, I decided to add to that crazy and accept a role from a wonderful writer friend in a short, Christian play for her church singles ministry. Although a short, it still was only a 2 person 11 page scene with lots of activity including some dancing steps to add to the words as if the words with scripture wasn't hard enough. I love a challenge as well as loving wonderful words to express regardless of the genre and a shal - lange it was! With about 7 rehearsals altogether including tech, less than a month, I came in unmemorized because of my schedule and in between the weeks of closing, working and auditioning, I made it work. Somehow it all came together as I let one play go while memorizing for the series into this wonderful piece I can say I now did. Push your work ethic and art, understand you will one day be moving from one job to the next and may even be doing one while also working on another - give yourself the gift of the stress now. Have 2-3 scripts floating in your head and try to keep them compartmentalized because yes, you will be that busy at times and it's enough to drive you mad into questioning whether you can do it...YOU CAN, you just got to push now while it may be tough but all worthwhile in the long run. Train for the stress, train for the push, the frustration, the lack of sleep, time etc. but watch your body, mind & spirit work for you...especially since you've been treating it right, celebrating when you can and keeping healthy by eating right and working out. Your mind is crazy beautiful, know that you can rest in chaos, it's a great place to be but you've got to be prepped for that in order to come out unscathed...let's practice now shall we?!?! With that, another short, Christian play "Witholding" by Kimba Henderson performed with Derrex Brady once again is officially off my books and check marked off - YES!
I've got one more day of shooting coming up in July for the rest of the 6 episodes as "Karen" for the upcoming Season 2 "Cheetah in August" on Amazon Prime Streaming from the wondrous LGBT works that didn't discriminate against me for my being - HA! Excited for this killer season because the writing is just that good and my role...RIDICULOUS! I based her on 2 big T.V. characters that I meshed together and am excited to see how she actually comes across on screen. Had fun working with this group of up and coming talent while seeing that hard work pays off. Watching the Bawn men pull it together and really believe in their product enough to work out Season 2 is incredible...you don't make money via web series but you hope to parlay it into some but it takes money, time, energy and a whole lotta effort so being a part of this has kept me inspired to keep at "JANE" as well, regardless of what that looks like. These wondrous people accepted my art and gave me the opportunity to join their tribe of work, so I'm gonna risk, push and give with this character like nobody's business because this show deserves my every bit of all! Here's the behind the scenes for the photoshoot ya'll and if you look really closely, every now and then you'll see me...ha, you just missed me!!! Pictures to come soon....
Shakespeare is officially in the house as I've kicked off the first full rehearsal and now we're in all of this scary magic breaking it all down - it is truly exhausting on the brain! Lucky for me, I found a cheap, vegan thai joint - lunch specials be da bidness (yes, it's all vegan...even the peanut butter pie!) to nourish my soul before I start on this hardcore adventure of being once again in the land of the lost. Such a shake up in routine but I am excited to tackle on this text because I know how much my art will thrive because of it...if I always did what was comfortable, easy and natural for me, how can I ever become the artist I so much desire. We must put ourselves out there to be laughed at, to be judged, to be dissected but because we treat ourselves with care, we only become stronger because of it. So to calm my soul, I feed it deliciousness whenever I can afford to do so as a mini treat to celebrate the fact that I am putting it out there to fall, but it is in my falling I will either catch myself or fall and either way, I'm stronger for it! So go, make sure to treat yourselves kindly to risk greatly and shine like the beauties each and every one of you bold art beings are. Even when you walk out of rehearsals after working all day to 4 hours of text work feeling drained, leaving at 11p...you just learned something new! Eat up and GIVE ART!!!
I love auditions...really I do. I enjoy the process, the work put in, the opportunity to show your craft. I'm not a fan of the politics but auditioning is the spice 'o life! Never lose your wonder in this process, it'll make you bitter and unproductive. This is hard, this business is tough and the odds are basically stacked against you but you can either let that be your excuse or you can shove back with all your might and roar at the idea of creating your dream to life journey. For this very reason, you must work on your craft, your push in your art and find other avenues of discovering other aspects as well. You may have come in wanting to be drama but your power lies in comedy...that could be your in, don't hide from that challenge. Or vice versa or behind the camera or being an instructor or a casting director or an agent you wish you had. Whatever the end result is, if you do it with all your might, explore all the possibilities this industry can offer, you may walk away with not only your dreams in hand, but fulfillment as well. I always felt I was a dramatic actress but as I realized how expressive I can be, I learned to capitalize on my comedic instincts naturally. I noticed when I usually booked small roles here and there, it was more on the side of comedy so although I haven't been to the big schools like Groundlings, UCB or Second City, I made sure to play in my classes and not lean into my comfort zone. I don't believe you need "comedy" classes to be comedic but you do need an instructor who does understand the timing of such work in order to push another facet of your work. Hopefully you're in a place that does both, if not, push for both and give yourself creative freedom to work both because you never know what you may end up booking the most or why. I know I've got the gift of a "serious/dramatic" actress but I have this silly side to me that is guarded for only people close to me, when I realized I could use that, pushed to use that by my beast and fill my art well even more, I took advantage of that knowing more opportunities would come because of it. Comedy is hard, challenging and focused with timing but if you can wrap your head around it, you may open yourself up to other fantastical possibilities. Don't cut yourself off from exploring everything you possibly can while on this journey, you've got the time, do it now...work your art now so that every time you've got a chance to show case your shine, you do it confidently in all of your majestic being. I love both, I want it all and hence the reason I don't shy away from theatre in the process as well. Another audition for ICT in their production of "Doubt" as Mrs. Muller...a role I've had my eye on but I'm also understanding because I'm in another play while this one goes into rehearsals and I'm also AEA now and since it's a smaller role, it's out of my hands. Getting to do it was worth it all and even though it was in the midst of me shooting a show and racing to rehearsals, this audition fell right in line that it was too perfect of an opportunity for me to let slide (although my hair wasn't what I wanted it to be - had fake blood in it the night before, bags under my eyes from the shoot and feelings of tiredness) because sometimes I do auditions not needing to book them now but to play so that when it comes up later (and this will come back up later), I can kill that as well - when it's yours, it will be yours and I claim that someday, I'll get this particular role. Someone will give me the opportunity regardless of how it's been done, who's done it and whatever preconceived notions they may have, I'll get a shot to do it and I will do it gladly. I remember doing this in class years ago, with Sharon Spence of Lifebook and we worked that scene so much it all came back quickly when I had little time to really dig in. What a joy to read for the Artistic Director again who helped give me a shot in "Flyin' West" and a casting director that has brought me in and keeps bringing me in regardless of the situation at hand. I decided I wanted a southern accent on her to lean away from any comparisons recently although set in NY '64. Make choices, stick by them and have a reason if asked, they'll respect that when questioning but I didn't get that...I got tears in the eyes of the people I'm proud to know and walked out of there knowing I did what I wanted to do. Every chance I can get to see Michael Donovan I take because I want him to see my consistent work ethic as well as my range. I know most of the stuff may not be for me because of various reasons but I also know he takes pride in knowing he can call me in now. Go in, make your mark like only you can and leave. Don't let all the excuses you can give yourself hold you back on stamping your mark in the room, they won't be able to change, make different choices or give you a shot if you hurt yourself by not going in the first place. Change your outlook first, doing that will eventually change theirs...GO DO THAT!!! I didn't get this role but I just found out that another actress I know has booked it (which I love knowing someone that I know got it), congrats Tamika and I can't wait to see you do your thang up there!!! 
I raced from that audition to my rehearsals (make sure to stop and appreciate the flowers) for Shakespeare which have been my life for the past few weeks. I've felt I haven't had a firm holding on the ground but I'm so excited to have completed a project that I will forever hold dear in my heart. I love that I've gotten these opportunities out of the blue to be a part of productions that I've never had a chance before on because this is what's keeping me inspired and on my toes about what kind of actress I want to become. I've said yes to as many things I could possibly do without driving myself mad and I've turned down just as many because I'm already pushed to my max but boy am I ever so happy to have leaned into my work and said yes instead of no to some of these projects happening now. I got to work on my first ever re-enactment show as a lead with 6 days of work, pages of dialogue and unscripted improv along with aging/fun make-up. I've never worked like this before and pushing my art to another level just allowed it to all sink in...I'm doing what I've been dreaming to do. All those classes I could barely afford, pictures needed to be taken and then more money spent to put them up on sites, collecting and putting together reels and getting clothes to up my audition factor as well as spending money just to get to and from said auditions with no guarantee of a job, even creating, writing and being the lead in my own short - whew. All worth it to play this role, to get a chance to really push the envelope in my training and stamina as well as peak my curiosity in other genres of acting as well - soap operas here I come...maybe, if you'll have me - HA! I was able to shoot at different locations and get to know the this cast/crew as well, which was nothing short of amazing. Understand I was given this opportunity by someone that watched me do comedy on another set, someone I had no clue that was watching me, someone that would later be the defining factor on giving me this chance to shine. You never know who is watching you on set, what they may be doing next, what they're trying to accomplish as well and that they may want to include you. Had to mention this because one of the characters was an actor that's been around, although I've never heard of him I started getting e-mails recently about him being in this and that, doing stand up etc so to put a face with a name was exciting for me. I watched as he had this aggressive body language as well as a gruffness when speaking to certain people on the production...I watched the reactions of the people on set and cringed as he was either oblivious or so full of himself because that was who he is. He spoke to some with kindness but if he didn't know who you were, he was going to make you realize he was the "actor" on set. Watching all this, knowing how wonderful each and every person was on this set working and how truly lucky I was to be surrounded by this type of cast/crew, I just made a mental note as I'm sure all of them did, to not support nor recommend this person for anything. It was amazing seeing this flippant behavior on a truly wonderful set, filled with hard working, humble people that were just out to make a show. I've always said, money nor fame doesn't make someone a jerk...money/fame brings what is already there out more so. You can act like this person if you so choose to do so, but do not blame anyone else when they don't want to work with you again or may have not so good words when someone they know wants to hire you. Always leave the set with everyone wanting to work with you again...including the PA's...they're on set for a reason as well guys. Know that everyone there is there to make a project happen, you are not the end all be all, you are a part of the picture do not become the problem...they've had to deal with those long before you and will have to continue it long after you're gone. No one is beneath you in this project, nor are they above - everyone must contribute in order to make this happen so leave all that unnecessary extra stuff at home because trust me when I say, I watch and I talk when needed. It's rare that I get to recommend but I will quickly throw a name under the bus if I've watched you demean people on a set especially when uncalled for and that includes passive-aggressive behavior. When I say everyone was ridiculously wonderful on this set, I mean it! If you ever see any of these faces on set, know you're in good hands and you will get the chance to play like the artist you are and they will make you look good for doing so. Even after your last camera day, when you are wrapped, they call you on set and cheer for you - how awesome is that! Aundrea Posey, thank you ever so much for introducing me to such a fantastic opportunity as well as one of the most amazing sets I've ever had the chance to work thus far. Thank you for believing in my work without having to see it all before stepping foot on your set, introducing me to the director Greg who made me feel safe to work and allowed me free reigns to just go and be, was one of the most freeing/rewarding aspects of this shoot. You guys make my art easy to do...all that trust given to me was beautious for my soul and I will never forget...I can't wait to work with each and every one of you all again. You guys made my long days easy, can't thank you enough for this experience given - thanks for making my face look good/bad when needed to the adventurous make up dept., props for always caring what I looked like, electrical/dp/gaffing/camera for making me look wonderful on film, the sound dept for making sure my voice was heard, wardrobe for pushing my look and jokingly called me out when asked to keep the sweater on, I found a way to take it off during the shot because it was too damn hot but you respected my choices anyway. Hope you all enjoyed my home made sugar scrub and if I missed you this time, I won't the next! These type of sets come far and few so appreciate them when they do come, people are watching and I am ever so happy I was able to share this experience with another actor I had the chance to recommend and he didn't disappoint! You never know where your opportunities lie nor where they will come from, don't crush them before you can squeeze more out of them!!! Regardless of the set, be the person you want people to be to you and you will create the happiness you're so chasing after...BE THE REAL, BEAUTIFUL YOU and the opportunities will keep coming!
