The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 31, 32, 33, 34 + a Callback ( Audition 37, 38, 39 & 40 )

I'm thankful to get another audition to the same soap opera office I had seen a bit ago and I can't be more giddy. See, sometimes it just isn't about the immediate booking but in fact the idea that they like you and are just trying to see where you may fit in or how, this is why going in with the idea of playing instead of "I've got to book this" will win you over some fans. I felt my last audition was okay, the role was what it was but my wanting to be this character made me invested, even for just a few lines so getting another shot, this time playing with medical jargon was fun. Going in to book will have you trying to do what you think they want you to do, going in to have people see your work and to play will create these people to think of you again whether you book the role or not. Again, you may risk the fact that they won't appreciate what you may bring and never call you again, but one casting director isn't going to make or break you so you've got to keep on with your truth in order to feel good when it all hits. This office is wonderful and I'm hoping for another shot in a different role just to show all that I can do...I even went to the Museum of Ice Cream before the audition because I had this event months in advance. Don't change up every aspect of your life for an audition, understand it's an audition and as long as you've done your homework, it's just not going to be as bad as you imagine. So....I went and enjoyed myself with family and played hard...I wanted to get the words but with one evening, they were just going to be as good as it had got by that point. Trust, I had them but when they stated that I could hold the page just below and off camera, I was relieved - read the harder terms and was able to look up at a point I felt was being engaged and go from there without looking back down at the page. They were kind and generous with their energy even with a roomful of people to get through but again, this was just another moment for her to see my work and now I'm crossing my fingers for the next opportunity...3rd times the charm right?!?! Glad I went to enjoy myself and inspire my art by visiting this pop up shop with people I love, no better way to make the day regardless of audition or no audition...life moves on!!!

Lo and behold I received another audition during this time of mad preparation for the play but another good role on a new show in a big casting office via a casting director who had me come in for "Trouble Creek" in which I booked. Although I realized the basic thought of the scene, I wanted a deeper feel and risked doing it, figured I'd have fun from all the pressure of memorizing as much as I could for the booked play. It of course wasn't what she wanted so I did a lighter version on the opposite end of the spectrum just to show some range...did she get it...most likely not but hey, I was there and was going to do something different than what is basically written. You get a shot and you either "fail" in their view point or you shine because of your differentness. Some will get it, some won't and that's okay, but you've got to be okay with that and realize your work and understanding of the material is just as important for it to be recognized. Glad the other cd knows my work and crossing fingers that this new cd is also open to seeing me again but if not, I did what I felt was right in the moment, especially when I don't see anyone else looking like me. GO FOR IT AND GO FOR IT BIG whenever you can, at least you won't regret the fact that you didn't at least try! Nice being on the CBS Radford lot but even better getting to share some of my art with eyes that have never seen me. This wasn't booked as well but....

Then came another commercial audition...when it rains, it pours! I never get these but I went thinking they want natural, let's give them me. Lucky for me this was before a rehearsal and early enough for me not to stress over at the 200 Casting Studios which I haven't seen in years. Quick and easy and lucky enough to be paired with another fun lady that we were able to vibe off each other and improv well since the scene was 2 friends hanging out. I left feeling good, but that's just me, these never come for me so what does it matter...have fun and call it a day...then...

Yay to at home auditions during the maddening times of rehearsals. Get the audition but I've been overwhelmed with trying to come up with 8+ characters with distinctive voices along with singing and developing places I need to be with the how and when. Of course there's a message from casting that although it's not due until Monday that the sooner, the better. Since this coincided with the above audition with the rehearsal between and I had make-up slightly on, when I got home exhausted, I pulled it together and taped myself. I've auditioned for this show before but it was years ago, so no stress, I gave my stankiest read and called it a day! They were okay with improv so I changed up a word here and added some text there to make the role extra me because that's just how I saw the character. Glad it was done and out of the way because I have to focus...

And of course I get the call back to the commercial but instead of it being early morning like the first call it's late afternoon...during the time of my rehearsal in Long Beach which takes me at least an hour to get there. I decided to contact my agent and let her know of the situation and she tried to get it rearranged but the note back was that the time was when my group was coming and since it was with another person, it was going to be difficult to do it by myself. I decided although this was the case, I'd at least try...raced to the commercial audition but got there realizing it was a lunch break. Instead of them being back by 1p, they didn't even start until 1:25p which I had by then explained my case to the cd on hand. Lucky I had told my director I was already going to be a bit late and since they had other scenes to work on, I felt I could possibly make it all work but with the lateness of this call back, things began to look real grim. I had to make a decision and I decided it was time to leave when no one showed up in my category. Bummed because it's rare to even get this type of audition and then to get a call back is heart breaking especially when I'm off for some deranged reason from the play on the exact shoot day of this project. It felt like it had all lined up and alas...it did not. I felt like exploding since I knew this could all have been done but for some strange reason it just didn't line up. As I was racing back to the car a bit upset, low and behold a friendly acting face stopped in front of me to say hi. She was coming from lunch and we've seen each other and auditioned with each other a few times. Hoping for one last pull I asked if she was there for this particular project but she wasn't, when I told her my situation, she just smiled real big at me and told me at least I had tried. That I had done everything in my power to make it work and that was all I could do...exactly what I would've said to another artist soul that may have been beating themselves up. ( Thanks Nicola, you made my day... ) I truly realized at that moment how much I was invested in making it happen...it just didn't work this time, but through no fault of my own. I'm working, I'm booked on a project and was just hoping that this other thing fell into the lineup as well. In the end...I TRIED! Somethings work out, some don't but when you try, there is no fault in your lap...remember that arties and remind your fellow soul givers of that truth every chance you get. I was meant to miss that audition to hear those words from another creative being on the same journey - I left floating on cloud 9 knowing my intentions.

So I play by being available whenever the opportunity knocks...getting to do a reading for a film script by the lovely Kimba Henderson is always a welcome feeling. Love being in the room of other journeyists and understanding why I must do what I must do and encourage those on the same path. It's a struggle in this business, but you must keep at it, pushing, grinding, working until it's your time to stand fully in the light and glow because of all of your hard work to get you there. Keep filling your well by playing, creating and doing whenever, however you can - NO EXCUSES, do it - DO IT NOW!!!

2 weeks down, with one week to go with tech and we're in Previews of the show. I've been stressed, overwhelmed, feeling of not being good enough and still pushing through. Singing, moving, being different characters while being on the stage the entire 90+ minutes of time with no breaks have been a challenge to my psyche but I'm welcoming it all. I feel like pulling out my hair...how did I get into this mess but I realize this is what's going to make me grow to another level. Doing the things I've been always nervous about and grinding through any way because I know it's what I need to do for my soul. At times I feel like I can burst into tears for being so awful and yet at others, I can see my work taking shape...I mean come on...when else will I ever get the opportunity to use my Scottish dialect that I've played around with for years???? And what director is ever going to let a black girl do this although I'm quite sure there are some black Scottish people around that haven't been represented by this industry as of yet. 2 whole days off and I'll be buried in the text solidifying my voices in 2 more characters in between working out this stress and guess what...got another audition, a big one for Tuesday...the exact same day I would've been booked had I gotten the above project and getting to see another office I hadn't been to ever. The universe is with you, just keep whispering, saying, telling, shouting and wanting your intentions, then step up to it's challenges! GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT ALL TO ME.... <3 and don't look back...some very sage advice I got from a bathroom frame at an audition!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 28, 29 & 30 ( Auditions 32, 33, 34, 35 & 36.... )

Weeks like this is what puts a smile on my artists soul...exhausted yes, but so well worth it to be out there fighting tooth and nail for a place in this business! Getting to get up and go play with the ideas that run rampant in your mind is such a release in creativity because what you create today can be the foundation of who you shape another character into tomorrow. You get to breathe life into a character and then settle the musings of it into something even bigger at every audition...you are character building every chance you get and that's invaluable information getting stored into your artistry box for later use so get excited every time an audition is given to you, let there be JOY!!! I get a random message from casting asking if I'd come in for a Samm Williams play called "Home" over at the ICT - my first foray into bigger theatre a few years ago doing "Flyin' West" playing Fannie Mae and then winning the 2016 NAACP Theatre Award for Best Ensemble! What goodness rushed over me until I read the notes stating there is singing involved - urghhhhh once again, I don't sing and I'd never put myself into the category of singers...I just wasn't blessed with that gift dammit!!! I realized why I had passed up submitting myself but I love this casting office so I go back and forth doing all I can to leave it up to them to not see me. I tell them I can't sing, they ask how bad...I state it's not good - HA! I did get to sing a bit in "Intimate Apparel" in Santa Barbara but then Karole comes in with her golden rich voice and there you have it...you know who's the gifted singer. I just like to be truthful...one day, I may take vocal lessons when I've got the extra dough but until then, my voice is just of a speaking varietal and I'm not ashamed to say it! They didn't take me skirting around the issue even though I warned them and didn't want to embarrass anyone in the room, but they told me to still come. I got 6 pages with my role having to play 3 characters already...oh my...and oh my in a good way! I only had the evening and with so much information, I was only able to scarf down 20 pages and study my scenes trying to make distinct characteristics for each one. I went to bed overwhelmed to say the least but excited because this wasn't anything I had done in such a full scope. I got up, skipped my workout to read the other 20 pages of the script, just to get a settling foundation of where my sides were coming from and dive more into being each character and not the lines. I was so stressed about trying to memorize the damn thing until I just told myself to relax...I got 6 pages the night before, I don't have that kind of memory and they're not expecting it anyway - focus, focus on each individual character. I even decided to crash a business lunch with my beast to see an old face I had known but hadn't seen for years...and of course eat! My nervousness must've been in my belly because I ate it all and kept reminding myself to be present in seeing my gal pal of yester years and this was what my soul needed to calm my butt down off this audition. Made it to the Lounge Theatre a bit early and had a moment to just settle but then not really because you could hear the melodic voices of these talented woman drifting from the room. The hell with it, they asked for it! I finally get my shot and I'm happy with the way I decided to read each character...then the damn singing...let's just say I made it through - WHEW! Glad I won't have to do that again, I just had to show up for Michael & Richie whom I adore since I hate turning down auditions from people I love....but honestly wanted another shot to show what I could do with the acting side of it all if given time...of course I get that CALLBACK and I'm thinking to myself, why in the world would they even, but I'm about to tear this role up in the best way! At least I've got a couple of days to memorize and feel like I can have a moment to play instead of being on the page and that's what I put my efforts towards for the next round while making some choices for each character. This is where I play in my playground of art and I feel most comfortable coming up with ideas - when given the time, I just let my mind roam and see what it comes up with. Drunk...higher pitched...southern accent, no accent...deeper voice...just scratching the surface but getting those distinctions in my choices so they could see where I could go with each one. Make it to ICT in Long Beach and grabbed some quick curry to fill my soul only to have a new person there that made the process way slower than any thai restaurant I had been too, so only 5 minutes to scarf some food down to settle my belly and in I raced to make sure I wasn't lost since the auditions were being held on the lower level this time. Made my way with 5 minutes to boot and they were slightly behind so I was able to focus on all those ideas and words that needed to come out of my mouth. 3 other gals for the role I was reading, 2 gals for the other female role and 2 guys for the male role...I was the tallest female - even in my flip flops, so I decided to go barefoot while reading. I could hear singing once again, so I ran out to hide in some trees and feeling my heart drop I reminded myself that although it wasn't my thing, my acting is and that is what I give them...I'm here for a reason, let's make it difficult for them to decide at least and while roaming I noticed these artful eyes and knew what I must go in and do. I felt all the love of my fellow cast mates of "Flyin' West" as I walked in ready. I got a chance to read the scene with the taller guy once before we were in there and I made my choices and stuck to them. Exited the room, other roles and gals went in, then we as for role 2 got ready to sing and do our final scene...one at a time...I was the 3rd one and by this time I was totally okay with not getting this role, saddened because it's delicious but extremely happy to be in the company of such talent. I sang my song after giving them full warning again then I decided spoken word sassy was my take on the monologue and then high pitched snotty for my final scene. They thanked me, I thanked them and I was out of there in about 1 1/2 hours - AHHHHHHHHHH, release, I did my thang to the best of my abilities and I was happy to have left them knowing as far as the acting, they had fun watching me! I get home while eating my chocolate/hazelnut croissant to tell my art I appreciate, get in my jammies and start decompressing when the phone rings and it is casting letting me know that I'll have to sing for people now - WHAT?!?! I just wanted to give them a good audition, I wasn't even thinking this part was mine, I just wanted to make sure they were happy I came in. I am now 5 different characters on stage singing/movement/mostly acting the whole time at a wonderful theatre I had my first big play I was ever involved in. My heart swelled as I thanked him profusely and letting him know I was up for this challenge...wowsers, I'm really doing this ya'll and I couldn't be more tickled by it all.What you may feel isn't yours, may not be how others see it...give yourself the opportunity to dive in and trust that all your hard work, dedication and soul that you have put in thus far will shine through. Shine my beauties...SHINE!

 During this time, I ended up with a lieutenant audition for a big office that was my first time there and a paying short film audition as an MMA fighter, a couple of hours later. It's always awkward when it's basically 2 lines but you do what you can and know it's up to them at that point. Had to eat some delicious Veggie Grill in between because why not and go over my 4 pages of dialogue so I could feel great for whatever they were gonna throw at me. Happy to see one of my favorite cds in the room - Ms. Keisha, if I'm right or close, she'll call me in and that is all I can ask for! Changed into my muay thai shorts and then heard we'll be throwing some kicks/punches as well so I gets to stretchin'! I get in and the room is teeny, tiny - I deciphered what kicks I could now do and how to intermix that with my punches so crescent kicks were thrown with shortened fronts as well as punching it out. 2 scenes down and we go into some improv where I was able to get deeper with this character I had built which was nice because I allowed a touch of pain/vulnerability but sometimes you just gotta go to that place to let them know it's possible, even in a strong role. With this came another audition I had to send a self submission of a vampire role that was due the following week but since timing was all over the place, shooting earlier was better although I wished for another day to let this character sink in. Went to quainphoto.com to get the feel of the audition right then raced home to lay down voice over tracks for a few auditions that happened to pop up. This is my first foray into the voice over world and I'm glad my agency trusts me enough to try it inexperienced. 3 different ads to lay and DONE!!! Yay to this and yay to more of this...hoping to get this voice some work because this business is too vast for you not to find stuff to do while you're doing the other stuff as well!!!

Don't put too much weight on these auditions, use them instead...go have fun and play, develop more characters/characteristics while doing something you love and sooner or later, the other stuff follows!!! Celebration time commences....It's Whiskey Time, bottoms up and let's finish that good bottle, we deserve it - Wahoo!!!!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 27 ( Audition 31 )

Wish I could say Audition 31 & 32 especially after having to prepare for both...but such is life. I received 2 audition notifications for the following day, one from my manager and one from my own footwork and since I liked the scene from the short, I decided to confirm since I've been passing up on some auditions after getting the sides. You don't have to go to every audition if your intuition is telling you to pass especially if it's something you got yourself. Trust me, they'll be more auditions coming but wasting your time in this business is way too stressful. Notes by the CD that already seems annoyed with you as an actor for some reason - PASS, sides that display this character may not be what you want and you can't spin it - PASS, knowing it's a cattle call - PASS on that too...the low rate isn't enough for you to have to deal with more than you already have to figure out as an actor, rushing to confirm, changing your schedule around, memorizing and creating a full character, race through traffic, sit for some time and be in the room for 2 minutes. All this must factor into your sanity so don't let this business be the death of you...of course be professional, cancel the audition for someone else, try to work out times etc but if you know it's not for you, it's okay to let it go. You as an actor have some say in what you do, it's your business and branding so although it would be great to get to every single one of these auditions, sometimes it just doesn't work out and you must make that choice for your soul's sake. The first audition was for a short film and I have to admit I was intrigued by the scene so I was happy to rearrange my schedule to get to my audition on time of 1:05p although I had another audition set not too far away for a pilot at 2:15p. Made it to my first and saw quite a few people sitting and waiting and the line didn't look like it was moving anywhere fast. I politely asked how long would they be in session and was told to 2:30p and I knew I had to make a decision although I truly wanted to wait this one out because of the potential of the scene. I saw someone come out, grab an actor and apologize to the room for the lateness which was kind but I knew I couldn't push this since I had another audition for a bigger office in Burbank in which I had to change my look completely for as well. She asked if I was on a time constraint, I simply stated I had another audition in Burbank and would try to make it back if it all worked out...no asking the room if I could jump the line, no asking to see if I could just pop in and give them my headshot, just a respectful parting. Everyone's time is important and you as an actor must respect that, I get it you're tempted to see if you could go in before others but understand no matter how pleasant they may be, the fact is, the session is running behind and others have been there waiting way past their audition time as well. If it's only 2 people, I get it to ask but if it's a roomful, just be the thoughtful of other artists as well since we all know how it is to have to work evenings, get to another audition etc. I left realizing I may not make it back and I was bummed about the whole situation because my day could've went differently had I known this was to be the case. Ah well, I didn't want to push this time and have to stress about making it to the other audition, be late and make a bad impression in an office that does so many shows so off I went. Made it about 15 minutes before my scheduled time but had to go into the bathroom and change into a completely different look since I had to go paramedic on this part and went in just a little past my appointment time of 2:15p. She was absolutely kind to give me adjustments and after 3 takes, she got what she wanted...so difficult in reading one line but that's part of your being when you're starting out. She liked my take on the character but decided to settle her...I already knew going in that was the choice, however, learn to take the risk and play...let the office tell you to bring it down but be bold my arties and see where it all takes you.

Yay to chatting with new people, getting an audition ( my last post ) and now being Morning Glory in "Two Nations" working with Mr. Mark Ridley! Excited for this epic tale and although I came on board late, it's a small role, the fact that they were still open to finding new people and gave me a shot has tickled my soul. We'll see where this all leads...keep hope my friends and another step forward!

With not enough time nor extra money I still have to take care of me and home remedies/masks are always to the rescue. So many people ask about my skin care and hair care and not only is this where my money goes for the most part, but I also have some at home mixes to help out. I've been all about the charcoal lately and have it in my evening facial cleanser but tried this pull off mask which was wonderful and tingly - loved the rejuvenation of my skin since facials aren't always something I can splurge on. $10-$15 can give you months of quick fixes so invest in yourself when you've got the opportunity because your face is your product in this business! A small secret for my scalp and hair is the Pre-Poo products by Shea Moisture and the dandruff control is off the hook for keeping my head healthy. Having curly hair can be murderous on the scalp, especially if you let your hair air dry from wet which creates these "crusties" on the scalp...this product takes care of all that and then some! I spritz my scalp, rub it in, wait 15 minutes as it soaks in, then I do 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar to 3/4 water and dump that all over my scalp to hair letting it drip to the ends and wrapping it all up with a towel to soak another 15-20 minutes. If I'm short on time, it's only one or the other but when I've got the day, I do both to really give my scalp the royal treatment, it does me good with all this hair so I must show how thankful I am to even have this crazy mane. I'll share some more of my products next but this will get you started in the right direction! You don't have to have a lot of money, you just got to know what to get and keep it as chemical free as possible to enjoy full benefits that are meant for you...then make some soy free, dairy free, gluten free, organic strawberry inside and out cuppy cakes so you can go out and be GLORIOUS ya'll!!!!

My heart goes out to all those that have dealt with/dealing with/affected by Harvey and Irma...although I may not be able to do a lot at this time, I'm doing what I can with what I have. Got extra new/gently used blankies - send them, have baby clothes not in use - give them, decide to forgo that coffee so you can donate cash - do it! Don't feel helpless, you can always do something as a human, choose to do it in your own unique way because that my friends is heart...so give them HEART!!! <3

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 26 ( Audition 30 )

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT...I never "network," never seemed interested in this aspect of our business...I find it contrived for the most part so I have refused to partake in this process. I've made it my job to make it to openings to films especially if I'm a part of it and my usual stance is come in late to miss the red carpet event ( hate speaking about myself and I feel ridiculous doing so, ) chat with whomever I've done scenes with because goodness forbid I talk to anyone else and I rarely speak unless spoken to, watch/stay for the movie/Q&A without standing or coming forward as one of the actresses and then leaving. This isn't coming from a place of ego driven madness, I love seeing my friends walking that carpet, getting that light and shining bright but I've always felt like I don't belong. I know I belong in front of the camera, I know I belong on that stage but all the in betweens escape my introverted sense, maybe its the years from being ignored when I was younger and wore pigtails with bottle cap thick glasses but I can do without the attention. I have learned to act calm but I'm freaking out on the inside when I've been forced to do the step and repeats but my beast has convinced me just how important they are for the show and for myself...I can't think of how I can be interesting to anyone and why would anyone care? However, this aspect is important and I must get better with this part of the show because it can lead to other things sometimes, so I keep reminding myself to be open. This audition wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been able to make it to the screening of the last film I've had the opportunity to be a part of and although I've never really had this happen to me, it did this time. I had gotten downtown earlier than predicted and decided to stop by my old "Korean Market" to grab some items that I can't get any more since the market in my neighborhood just closed. After snacking on some squid ( yes, I said squid because I'm Korean too and I grew up on squid, ) I raced back to the theatre and ended up in line to pay for parking which was extra long at this point, so my extra 15 minutes for hanging out inside turned into just barely making it in to order popcorn and chat it up with Riji whom I had the scene with. While in line, I met a wonderful gentleman who asked if we had met with the conversation leading to me being a part of the film, he had come to support. He gave me a card, we shook hands and I finally got my popcorn. Headed inside, looked for Riji who was going to save me a seat, saw waving hands and went towards them only to notice it was the guy from outside and a few other people. I went ahead and sat down laughing at myself for just sitting with strangers but as they all introduced themselves, they were director friends of our director there to show Mr. Ramsey some love...gotta love support!!! I ended up meeting a director I have followed on FB and Instagram and then when the show was over, the other director, Mr. Ripley, leaned over and told me to get my stuff over to him...that evening since casting was happening the next day.

I thought to myself, why not? Couldn't hurt since I had no real plans except to get into the gym and this would allow me my 2 workouts and still make it on time. I sent over my stuff and received a message back to come in and that I did. I took care of my body by doing Zumba for an hour, then Pilates and raced on over to Hollywood Casting. Found out the cast was the only ones there pretty much and there was me...waiting to read whatever lines they threw at me and improv if needed. I ended up cold reading the lines for the "Old Woman" so they could just see me work and then some light improv. Asked if I could drum, African dance, ride horses, weapons....I let them know although some things I was proficient at, most things I could pick up quickly as long as I was shown. Being a martial artist and now just picking up different workouts, I've done things here and there. This is the part I tell you to not indulge, let them know what you can and can't do but also let them know if it's something you feel you can truly pick up. I do Zumba which some instructors have some African moves in, I've tried a class or two of African dance just to know what that feels like but I was completely honest by saying I can do it as long as it's choreographed and I'm shown, I can't make up those moves and just give you that off the cuff. I've ridden horses but it's been awhile...DON'T LIE...if you haven't ridden and you know you're not scared, state that but don't lead them to believe you can do more than you can. It's a good way of getting on set and getting fired off set and no one wants that! So when they asked about stunts etc., I stated I was a martial artist and I have no problems with dirt, they laughed because they were martial artists too and asked me to do a kick or something. After I got my bearings in my sandals, I threw my roundhouse, stuck it there for him to snap a picture and we all laughed, me knowing I can never turn down the opportunity to still kick or punch when needed!!! I can't believe this audition happened...so even to the introverted selves reading this, sometimes getting out is good - HA!!!

 
Are you still eating well, cleansing or at least trying to? Are you getting sleep and working out whenever you can? These are non negotiables in life, you have to make time for them regardless of how you may feel. I get that you would rather do what you want, when you want to but there is a time and place. I get cleansing isn't pleasant and we'll do everything besides it including looking up how bad it is for you instead of learning how good it can do your body when done with the correct intentions. "I can't go without food..." but what happens when your body shuts down and you can't eat now because you're sick, really sick and for months? You can't afford not to clean out your system because there are things going on, on the inside that you won't have a clue about until it's too late so understand the method of being preventative. One day of no food and drinking fresh pressed juices won't kill you and from that one day you can take it to 3 days, then learn about the harder cleanses like the Master Cleanse...not for weight loss because you're going to gain it back but for the re-energizing of your insides and the cleansing needed to give your kidneys, liver, blood, heart and body a much needed break. I even plan on water fasting for a day soon...just one day to rejuvenate my system and with doing this for over the past 15 years, I'm rarely sick. I had this weird thyroid growing/puffing up on my neck years ago and each year it became more non existent when I cleansed. Once I added my eating habits of now 5 days vegan, 1 day vegetarian and 1 day of anything I want I've had no flair ups. Simple sweet potatoes, with quinoa & beans along shishito peppers or a buffalo "chix" sandwich with salad and even crepes with organic peanut butter & soy/dairy/nut free chocolate chips, so many choices and at the tips of your fingers. Look, we all know our food can heal us or hurt us but you've got to make those good choices way more often because life just catches up to you and one day you're suffering. I'm not saying this is the end all be all, you may be lucky and never have issues but you are one in a million. Diabetes is running rampant, cholesterol/blood pressure out of sync, kidney stones ( I've never had one yet so I'll keep cleansing since I've heard how painful they can be, ) gall stones and at some point and time you've got to get focused on what you're doing to your body. Yes, I enjoy that shake at times or have a really rich meal but it is a special occasion time and once I do that, I know what I must do to get it out of my system as well. YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOU. My dad was recently diagnosed with a rare blood disease that happens to mostly men around the age of 60 - 70 called Amyloidosis, it's when the bone marrow in your body starts producing protein and instead of your body ridding it, it makes deposits in your muscles...your heart, your kidneys, your liver with little to no warning. You don't feel symptoms until it's too late, then you're diagnosed if you're lucky and then begins cancer treatments for the rest of your life because it's incurable. These are the things happening on the inside, that you can't see but you can try to combat these types of diseases by flushing the system thoroughly out by cleansing, watching what you put in your body including most of these milk products, reading labels to see sugar placed everywhere and understanding that you can do all of this with balance. You don't have to jump on the raw, vegan lifestyle if it isn't you but by being mindful and understanding every bit of what you're putting into your system, including that "healthy shake made of whey protein" by the popular company your friends are selling to you, you begin to grasp just how much crap is actually going into your body with or without your knowledge. You have a choice to take care of you the best way you can, that way when some of the sickness decides to attack your well being, you are able to fight because you are at your strongest. We can't stop everything, but we can try by being mindful...I celebrate you beautiful creatures and I wish you all nothing but the upmost in health! Eat well, play well and keep fighting for those dreams....

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 23, 24 & 25 ( Auditions 27, 28 & 29 )

3 lovely auditions happened when I least expect them to and I can't be happier because now is the slow time. It's August and nothing is really going on...most shows are on hiatus so I lean towards whatever films/web series/theatre that seem to speak to me because now is a great time to be involved with projects without too much worry as to the scheduling. You can submit, submit, submit and see just what may fall into your lap - while waiting, go work out and get back to your regular routine, cook better foods since you have more time and go through your acting lists to see what you need to gear you up for the new season. No time to feel down because auditions aren't happening, it's time to focus on yourself and still try to get out there whenever you can. While doing so, you'll get a few straggling auditions to fill some of that void so just be present, get your mind, spirit and being realigned and get ready for the new incoming of hecticness that will soon take you away from the "normal" routine you've built for yourself once again. First incoming audition was during the week for a big comedy company and I got a chance to read for reporter/journalist with some improv towards the ends of each at Universal. First time in the office and hopefully not the last seeing that I had made her chuckle and not want to give me any redirects, just some fun-fun for this quick and easy chance to show me. 2nd audition was for a low budget film at Canvas Casting for a role playing a woman in a shelter, comedy as well and although I had to come in with my hair down instead of braided like the picture submitted, I hope that they saw the crazy character I created instead. I even asked if the writer was in the room and if improv on some of the lines were okay in which this wonderful woman who was the director/writer stated she loved improv. I always ask in the room, no need to offend a writer especially if it's just some extra grunts and uh huhs that could be funny if thrown in properly. Then to round out this weekend extravaganza of auditions, a self submission was requested for a pilot in San Fran...I was exhausted but the tape was to be in by Sunday at 2p and since I work in the morning, no need to put myself under more stress so I knew Saturday evening was going to be a tape night. So, it was work to audition, audition to reading for a musical ( I DO NOT SING as of yet...) and then to www.quainphoto.com for some good, late night lighting so my tape didn't look ridiculous since no real light was available at 9p. Got some rest and was able to send everything needed by 9:30a as I walked out the door to work - WHEW!!! One was from my manager, one from my own footwork and the other from my agent...remember, it takes everyone working for you so that you can claw your way towards your dreams so find that manager/agent that truly believes in you and what you're representing, then hold on for the ride!!!

During the down time, not only am I working out like a mad woman, but I'm arting it up as well and nothing like hitting up Huntington Library in Pasadena for a wonderful exhibit of a Sci-Fi woman that has passed but was one of the few recognized person of color as well in this genre. Reading her letters of how lonely she was and seeing the pictures of her surrounded by no one that looked like her but knowing that in her heart, this was what called to her...and she did it. As many times of wanting to give up had probably hit her, her affirmations changed her viewpoints every time that

doubt/fear crept in. I cried looking over these private moments of self doubt and seeing that she had only herself many times but used that to remind herself what she desired, dreamed of and wanted out of her work/life. We must be diligent in speaking our truths, even the strongest of us will crack if you don't believe in self but in order to do so, you must remind yourself constantly in this business - NO

ONE can do that for you but YOU and YOU are usually fighting with YOU!!! You will convince yourself that you're not going anywhere, you will say you're not good enough and you can allow others to drain your soul, so you must be in constant guard against outside forces as well as yourself so make sure to inspire yourself whenever possible. Museums, good food, great drinks with wonderful people, video game play to say hello to your younger self, amazing movies that make you question it all and as much pampering whenever you can to realize your body is your vessel and you speak with it..take cares of yous...DREAM BIG but find INSPIRATION and clutch it tight because it takes strength, courage and fortitude to deal in this industry of rejection. You CAN and YOU WILL...just BELIEVE...then eat/drink/play/do/work something delicious to remind yourself just why you're here - fighting the good fight!