The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 31

As artists we beat ourselves up when we think we've missed an opportunity...somehow it is always our fault for not being there, not getting to it, not squeezing it in. It's okay to have a life and allow this business to be a part of it, not the whole of it because you don't want this business dictating what life you want to live. You're going on vacay...GO! You need to be with family...BE! You need to recenter with yourself...DO! These are the decisions you must/will make and understand for you, you must move forward without regrets. Of course, there is always a reaction to your action but if it is in the best interest of you, your spirit, your need...in the end you must be happy, so make the best choice for what you feel is truly right for your career and soul, trust your instincts - it's usually right on more often than not.

This past week was full of rehearsals and picture takin' for another play. In order to optimize my time when I received a confirmation for an audition I decided to reschedule because timing wise, I felt I wanted to go to my audition at a later time in order to go straight to my rehearsals at the Odyssey Theater. I rarely ask but for gas sakes, I needed to see if it was even possible because to drive into Hollywood at 12p and then putz around or even drive back home (25 min's) until my 6p rehearsal time was such a waste of day/time for me. So I sent a message asking very politely if I may come in later if possible....no response. I sent another message a couple of hours later just reconfirming they got my message and that it would be helpful to come in during the afternoon session if there was one...still no answer. I then sent one last message stating I'd love to read for this role but just wanted to know if it was a possibility to arrive any later than the given appointment time...nothing. Since this was a low budget, I decided it was a role I didn't necessarily need on my reel if I got it and if the casting couldn't take a moment to just say yes or no or even acknowledge my question, then it wasn't a production I wanted to be a part of. If as an actress, I made production companies ask me if I was available 3 or 4 times and still not get back to them, I wouldn't work again...so why is it acceptable as an artist for them to treat us so indifferently. Know your worth...as a professional, you probably ask this rarely because it is something I don't usually do but when I do, I do expect some level of professionalism of just an answer. When I don't receive one, I then have to decide whether this production is worth it and how may they treat me if an emergency may come up....with compassion? I'm a professional but if you can't get back to me about an audition, then will you get back to me about production questions, issues I may have on set etc. You as an artist must draw a line, decide to be treated as a person, you're not asking for the world but if your request is simple there should be no problem just answering it. Understand this, you, your work, what you bring is worth something and you are getting paid way less for doing that  at this moment, so demand a certain amount of professionalism. Especially if you're one to give it...I had no problem just not showing up to the audition, it wasn't worth my time, energy nor effort if they weren't willing to put forth any I'd rather save it for a production that is just as excited for me to be there as I am to want to be there. Now understand, I would've went at the original time had they sent me a message stating there wasn't a possibility because I do understand what goes into the casting audition process but since there was no response, I took it as a disinterest in my work. That is unacceptable for me to get up, get ready, take time out of my day, memorize the scene, put work into it, drive over and spend who knows how long there and then drive back for no pay, I get what it takes on both sides but a no answer is completely disrespectful on either side. Again, I'm okay with not going...it's not going to make nor break me, opportunities come and go but don't go, blame yourself and feel bad. It's okay to be a bit selfish, it's okay to try to work around your schedule, it's okay to not want to do it because you just got the sides and realize it's not for you...make your stand as an artist now. Pick your battles and keep it moving - there are plenty of other things happening that would be ecstatic for you to be a part of their body of work...go find those projects, then do what you do best...SHINE!

To keep up with life, I became a God Mother to this beautious gal, I ate a meat hook on my cheat day, went to a back yard BBQ with live blues music/cajun food and had deep fried catfish, caught my beast being a fairy and went to a lovely baby shower to fill my inspiration well in this big, wondrous world! Enjoy the moments folks, when it becomes too busy with work, work, work you'll already know how to balance by practicing now...don't ever feel less than, don't ever allow anyone to make you feel that way because you are a fantastical creature giving art from your soul and you are POWERFUL! Go enjoy life and when it's time...Give it to 'em!!!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 30

What a wondrous evening to find out that the same casting office I auditioned for at Paramount has called me in once again. Although last week's audition was for an abusive parent, this week was the abused girlfriend...different roles, similar emotional out put! It makes such a difference when casting can see your full body of work and getting the auditions that require it are so few and far in between but keep hanging in there because when that opportunity does present itself, you must KILL IT!!!! These are the moments we wait for, so preparation meets opportunities...we can't complain when and how the moment arrives, we must sink in as artists and take the bull by the horns and give 'em all we got...we gotta ROAR! I live for the times I just get to play in the room and see what develops but it usually comes when I get the chance to read a full body of work instead of a line or two...which I still make the best of, but there is nothing like being able to do a full read for an audition to go through your range and push some boundaries.

Again, Rebecca and Samantha were super welcoming. They remembered me in the room last week and we went right to it after the slate. They asked for my height again, which makes me leery, since I'm a tall girl and I know that can be a factor but I do not allow it affect me, it's just part of the process! The scene was heavy and although she had the first line, for me to get in after chatting I had to take my time. Don't ever feel rushed to jump in, this is your time...your work - I made it a slower, deliberate entrance but it was for me to get into the scene. I had reason, I made it my reason and I made it work within the scene. What a glorious time to get the chance to cry, laugh a bit and even get angry/scared...I felt my work taking over as tears streamed down my face and I left once again with no redirection. They thanked me again, told me "awesome job" and I skaddled, thanking my art for going to such a place to give me what I needed in the room. I gave my body a proper celebration meal for it's focus and determination with some good eating at Veggie Grill - vegan nachos and salad, with a proper vegan carrot cake treat to boot! I'm so proud of my art...and you gotta be too. It doesn't make you vain or actory because it doesn't come from a boastful place rather than a celebratory/acknowleding space. It's okay to say "You did good today!" We're so quick to say how horrible we did, how we messed it up, how we missed a moment - that we don't even pat ourselves on the back when we slay it. We just say "Yeah, it was good..." as if it was nothing...IT'S NOT NOTHING! Thank yourself for showing up early, having the work put in, taking that nervous energy and using it, going into the room focused, putting it down and leaving knowing you did your art. It's okay to feel it and say it and then celebrate it...your art needs more of it and when you give it that from this absolutely clear place, your work will show up for you, each and every time...even when you don't expect it to, something happens and your work kicks in. How beautious is that?!?!

Although I started this on March 17th and have had only 35 auditions or so, it has been a phenomenal ride so far this year and it isn't even close to being over.  With a couple of bookings and plenty of call backs and producer sessions, what a fantastical journey to share but I hope you realize the effort and hard work. You don't just wake up and come to L.A. and everything is handed to you...for a handful, that may be your life (and congrats on that) but for the rest of us, it is waking up, taking care of ourselves, working hard, taking the time to hone in on our craft and do the business of this show. Years will be put in, time and energy expended but you will be rewarded by hanging in there. You are doing your dream, you gotta let it work and you never, ever, ever give up...you can let it change because this business can do that for you if you're open, but if you're happiest here, like I am - KEEP PUSHING ON!!!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 29

Although I touched down in L.A. from NOLA around 9p and got my e-mail for the audition the very next day around 11p for 11:30a, I get so excited when I get an audition with sides that are just meaty - especially when I get to go on tape straight to producers! It really makes my day because for the bigger shows/films, if you're not known/related etc., you'll be called in for a line or two if you're lucky. Sometimes you might get a scene to read where you feel like you can give something and then there are the times you get called in for a co-star but it's like 4 pages where you get to play an abusive parent - OH YEAH! These are the times I definitely don't proceed with the thought of booking...this is all gravy for me! I figure with this type of scenes, there's an offer out somewhere to someone already in the mix and since I can't compete with that, I'm gonna give casting something to remember me by or at least to consider. My job is to make it hard for them...whatever there decision is, to really make it difficult for them to decide - I love it when I hear that...even if I'm not the actress chosen. One day I'll be at the receiving end but for now as I'm fighting, I'm gonna make them wonder if they really, truly have the best actor involved - HA! I love being on big studio lots, to consider all that's happen there, it always inspires me to wonder who else walked the same streets, with the same dreams, just wanting to share their art and to realize that I've been given an opportunity to share a piece of my vision. Today, I get to share with Rebecca & Samantha and I've got to say it was one of the warmest rooms I've ever had a chance to audition for. It was so open with possibilities, that I ended up on the floor and they just followed me with the camera - no restrictions, they just allowed me to be in. No redirections - she stated she liked what I did and on to the second scene we went, again no redirections just love for my work...WHAT AN EXPERIENCE! That's the part you've got to enjoy as an artist. We end up with so much rejection all of the time that we focus on that and we don't open ourselves up to enjoy the moment when the room is open and ready to see what we'll give, that they appreciate our time, talent and expression. These are the rooms I take mental note of and store in my heart to remind myself that there are people out there craving to see good work, wherever it may come and that keeps me going with love. Had to sit out once again at Coffee Bean, order a chai tea latte with almond milk over ice and snack on my breakfast sandwich my beast made for me. Although I had to go to work after my romp on Paramount, my day was made brighter because of it and I made sure to celebrate with my vegan Karma cupcakes made like a hostess but better and yes, there was whip frosting goodness in the middle!

Also after touching down from NOLA, the play that I wouldn't change my vacay plans for and didn't get, reached out to me to be an understudy for a bigger role but to also cover the role I auditioned for when she wasn't able to make it. I've never been an understudy and although fearful of what the unknown was, I jumped all in. I immediately went to rehearsals and was overwhelmed by trying to figure out the 2 roles staging and lines. I've been carrying my book and scribbling like a mad woman hoping I'll be able to distinguish my notes from one actor to the other. I feel very welcomed to the production as well as ignored, this has been a very interesting dynamic and journey for me, something to experience once in my life as an actress and as someone who loves the stage and is finally getting the opportunity to explore this aspect of the business. I've been on stage once for the role of whom I'll go on in my guaranteed performance for just a scene or two but more so for the role I auditioned for but won't go on as...so you can see how difficult and chaotic this is. Truly a challenge/fear that I look forward to conquering...because I know, if I can do this...really do this, there won't be too many things that will ever throw me when I'm in that spotlight. I may never do this again, but I know I will do my best given that I have 1 week and a half to get all the lines, learn all the blocking, rehearse the singing (because yes, they keep booking me for singing roles although I always state I can't), learn movement (because yes, there is some in there...which will be my first go at it on stage), get my lap drumming down with my cues as well as just being present. It's okay to try and fail...but think of it as "What if I try and am as glorious as others see?" After my first 4 days, I took my first morning off from the crazy to treat my body to corn cakes, pom mimosa and the first time to look over some lines, because I need at least that to perform. ;)

 So in order for me to do this, to put my body through all of this, I must fill my well and give it inspiration. No better weekend, because I was able to go see "The Mermaid Who Learned How To Fly" by Kyla Garcia - a one woman show about loosing your brazeness after growing up, a fairy that reminds her of what she was meant to be and the steps to regain that boldness, Lifebook presents "30/60" - 30 brilliant actors from all acting ranges in 60 minutes and being pleasantly surprised during rehearsal break to walk around and look at the old photos on the wall, only to see that Tyne Daly (whom I had the pleasure to work with) had performed at the Matrix where I'm rehearsing! This beautious "sign" let me know I was right where I was suppose to be. Talk about being re-energized for the new week...BRING IT!!!! I'm scared to pieces ya'll but I will not back down! I will do this and I will celebrate...I trust my art...trust yours!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 28

This was a fun audition...one of my "acting wishes" on my list of roles to play - a prostitute! I have an "actors/actresses wish list" to work with as well as directors and soon I'll have casting offices. You must know what offices you'd love to go in as well as shows you'd like to work and who'd you like to work with behind and in front of the camera...it'll show you how far you've come when all that negativity pushes up against you. I never dreamed of having an opportunity to be in a scene with Sally Field (she was the reason I started acting after watching her in Mrs. Doubtfire) and Tyne Daly (my dad was obsessed with Cagney & Lacey) - 2 for oner in a film or Ving Rhames etc. All these people sprinkled here and there have let me know that I'm on track and it's steadily moving in the right direction. People in your life will tell you it's all for not...you can't make it...you're just a number and it won't happen. You've got to believe that it will...there is no way you can't make it by putting in your time, getting into classes and expanding your art, sacrificing, getting the headshot that's you and doing your business...THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN'T MAKE IT - IF YOU DO THESE THINGS with focus and determination. It may be slow, it may not come when you expect, it may not be all that you want in the immediate scope but hang in...you're on the right path. Look from where you started to where you're at now...are you more confident in your technique? Do you feel like you can act on the drop of a hat if need be? Do you just know this is for you and are willing to wait your time out and as you do so, you work your craft? If so, you can make it...you can do this...you can be in this industry but it's not for the faint of heart. Don't give yourself a timeline, just go make art - whatever that may mean for you and enjoy this crazy process, then watch this journey unfold. You may get into voice overs or theatre or film or television or soaps or children programming or behind the camera, you just gotta work your magic and let it take itself from there. Have faith in you, push you and in return for all this madness you've taken on, you'll see progress.

This audition was fun but when presented with the fact that they wanted a stereo type, I stuck to my guns. That may cost you a job guys, but it's up to you on what you decide you want to do. I prefer playing certain characters a certain way because if it's one thing I've worked so hard to play against...it's stereotypes. I improv'd, I stayed in and I stayed true...they laughed, they saw different things from me and they asked me to stereotype her. I did slightly but I knew how I wanted to play this character for myself and if I'm doing low budget, barely pay, I need it to speak to what I'm looking for as well. So, I gave them a little but I dug in harder to the text, making them laugh harder at things they hadn't even thought of and I left knowing I was true to myself, my choices. After changing (because I don't want nor need to walk Santa Monica Blvd. dressed in my outfit) I ran into the producer/writer/director/reader outside and he told me how much my work blew the room away. He shook my hand and thanked me profusely...I DIDN'T GET THE ROLE, but I don't care. I did the role true to me and I walked out with their respects...that is all that matters. You can make people understand your work and show how different it can be as well but you've gotta stay strong and knock it out of the park. You may not book the job but you'll leave the impression of a different understanding of their material...you just gotta make them see it!

I went to Nawlins for a few days with family and had put $100 away for things...I decided on Art - to keep motivating and moving me in countless ways. I didn't have much but I was able to walk away with some cool pieces for myself to keep me inspired. You don't have to have a lot of money to enjoy the finer things in life...you just gotta dig and look and work for it but what you come up with are jewels...kinda like your craft.  =) GO GET 'EM!!!!

The Glamorous Life of Auditions - Day 27

Never auditioned for the Hudson Theatre before but got the opportunity once again via casting director Michael Donovan and I'll keep right on submitting for every project he works on! Know that when any casting really likes you, it is up to you to keep yourself spotlighted on. You must do your due diligence in being active about your career, no one will do it for you like you can. Casting may love you but it doesn't mean they'll remember you for every part that comes up or may think you're above a part and not call you in where you may be open to working only one day, one line etc. Don't leave this up to just your "team" to decide...small projects happen, small roles open up and if you're hungry/wanting to work, you must go out there and shout it out as loudly and as fiercely as you can. Learn to toot your own horn, no matter how big or small the piece may be, by keeping everyone in the loop of your works you stay on everyone's mind...or at least in the back of it! This part of the "business" has always been difficult for me but as I grow as an artist and understand the dynamics of the show - you must be on top of your work in all ways and I'm learning just like you.

This audition required another song outta me - HA! Vocal lessons will be needed soon but this again, wasn't a musical although I could hear amazing singers blowing it out in the room before me. I did what I knew best and acted my boo-tay off...the song - meh, but hey, it's a work in progress! Even got a "I'll take an actor over a singer any day!" comment after my work...I'll take it! Right when I thought I wasn't even in the running (especially after letting them know I'd be outta town at the start of rehearsals for a fam bam vacay)...who get's a call back???? This bewildered gal!!!! Made my choices a bit tighter and gave it all I got...I think I even sang more on key this time, ha - ha, but they were the ones who asked for it! I left just proud that I got a callback and did it all once again, showing I stayed true to my choices and knowing this was really all out of my hands. Walking out knowing this piece of the puzzle is key to your auditions guys...it's the way to really enjoy the audition process and understand your art in all of this. YOU GO IN, YOU DO YOU WORK AND YOU LEAVE KNOWING IT IS ALL OUT OF YOUR HANDS!!! Even if you slay the room, understand there are so many variables involved that you absolutely have no control over and you did what you set out to do and that is all you can give - release everything else, not your concern anymore until your call back or booking. This is why celebrating is essential to your psyche, allowing your mind to know that it did all that it could and now you're rewarding it for all the work that your body gave you, lets the universe know that you not only enjoyed the process but you enjoyed yourself as well and that is beautiful...that is art!

You don't have to be depressed about "Not getting another one..." - don't put that out in your space. You are creative and as creatives, you deal with so much more rejection but when you start to twist your perspective into "another opportunity, another shot, another chance to explore and express" you begin to see the beautious world of auditioning as what it is. Another shot for them to realize all that is glorious in you, all that you've got to offer and all that you will bring as a professional artist to their project...they'll be lucky to have you. Understand and own that...

I got a call over the weekend letting me know they were still in deliberations...ha, I made their job that much more harder to decide, how happy am I. With another project already needing my commitment, I accepted the other project instead only to find out that the callback decided they wanted me to understudy for the bigger role that was offered out with guaranteed performances and lighter rehearsal time - since my vacay in New Orleans would hinder the process a bit. Happy for the offer but even more happy to play EVE in the upcoming production of Mark Twain's "Adam & Eve" and since the schedule couldn't be worked out between the two, I'm officially only in this production but tickled by all the hoopla my art did open up to! Happy Arting everyone, go out there and share away...the world is awaitin'!