The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 27 ( Audition 31 )

Wish I could say Audition 31 & 32 especially after having to prepare for both...but such is life. I received 2 audition notifications for the following day, one from my manager and one from my own footwork and since I liked the scene from the short, I decided to confirm since I've been passing up on some auditions after getting the sides. You don't have to go to every audition if your intuition is telling you to pass especially if it's something you got yourself. Trust me, they'll be more auditions coming but wasting your time in this business is way too stressful. Notes by the CD that already seems annoyed with you as an actor for some reason - PASS, sides that display this character may not be what you want and you can't spin it - PASS, knowing it's a cattle call - PASS on that too...the low rate isn't enough for you to have to deal with more than you already have to figure out as an actor, rushing to confirm, changing your schedule around, memorizing and creating a full character, race through traffic, sit for some time and be in the room for 2 minutes. All this must factor into your sanity so don't let this business be the death of you...of course be professional, cancel the audition for someone else, try to work out times etc but if you know it's not for you, it's okay to let it go. You as an actor have some say in what you do, it's your business and branding so although it would be great to get to every single one of these auditions, sometimes it just doesn't work out and you must make that choice for your soul's sake. The first audition was for a short film and I have to admit I was intrigued by the scene so I was happy to rearrange my schedule to get to my audition on time of 1:05p although I had another audition set not too far away for a pilot at 2:15p. Made it to my first and saw quite a few people sitting and waiting and the line didn't look like it was moving anywhere fast. I politely asked how long would they be in session and was told to 2:30p and I knew I had to make a decision although I truly wanted to wait this one out because of the potential of the scene. I saw someone come out, grab an actor and apologize to the room for the lateness which was kind but I knew I couldn't push this since I had another audition for a bigger office in Burbank in which I had to change my look completely for as well. She asked if I was on a time constraint, I simply stated I had another audition in Burbank and would try to make it back if it all worked out...no asking the room if I could jump the line, no asking to see if I could just pop in and give them my headshot, just a respectful parting. Everyone's time is important and you as an actor must respect that, I get it you're tempted to see if you could go in before others but understand no matter how pleasant they may be, the fact is, the session is running behind and others have been there waiting way past their audition time as well. If it's only 2 people, I get it to ask but if it's a roomful, just be the thoughtful of other artists as well since we all know how it is to have to work evenings, get to another audition etc. I left realizing I may not make it back and I was bummed about the whole situation because my day could've went differently had I known this was to be the case. Ah well, I didn't want to push this time and have to stress about making it to the other audition, be late and make a bad impression in an office that does so many shows so off I went. Made it about 15 minutes before my scheduled time but had to go into the bathroom and change into a completely different look since I had to go paramedic on this part and went in just a little past my appointment time of 2:15p. She was absolutely kind to give me adjustments and after 3 takes, she got what she wanted...so difficult in reading one line but that's part of your being when you're starting out. She liked my take on the character but decided to settle her...I already knew going in that was the choice, however, learn to take the risk and play...let the office tell you to bring it down but be bold my arties and see where it all takes you.

Yay to chatting with new people, getting an audition ( my last post ) and now being Morning Glory in "Two Nations" working with Mr. Mark Ridley! Excited for this epic tale and although I came on board late, it's a small role, the fact that they were still open to finding new people and gave me a shot has tickled my soul. We'll see where this all leads...keep hope my friends and another step forward!

With not enough time nor extra money I still have to take care of me and home remedies/masks are always to the rescue. So many people ask about my skin care and hair care and not only is this where my money goes for the most part, but I also have some at home mixes to help out. I've been all about the charcoal lately and have it in my evening facial cleanser but tried this pull off mask which was wonderful and tingly - loved the rejuvenation of my skin since facials aren't always something I can splurge on. $10-$15 can give you months of quick fixes so invest in yourself when you've got the opportunity because your face is your product in this business! A small secret for my scalp and hair is the Pre-Poo products by Shea Moisture and the dandruff control is off the hook for keeping my head healthy. Having curly hair can be murderous on the scalp, especially if you let your hair air dry from wet which creates these "crusties" on the scalp...this product takes care of all that and then some! I spritz my scalp, rub it in, wait 15 minutes as it soaks in, then I do 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar to 3/4 water and dump that all over my scalp to hair letting it drip to the ends and wrapping it all up with a towel to soak another 15-20 minutes. If I'm short on time, it's only one or the other but when I've got the day, I do both to really give my scalp the royal treatment, it does me good with all this hair so I must show how thankful I am to even have this crazy mane. I'll share some more of my products next but this will get you started in the right direction! You don't have to have a lot of money, you just got to know what to get and keep it as chemical free as possible to enjoy full benefits that are meant for you...then make some soy free, dairy free, gluten free, organic strawberry inside and out cuppy cakes so you can go out and be GLORIOUS ya'll!!!!

My heart goes out to all those that have dealt with/dealing with/affected by Harvey and Irma...although I may not be able to do a lot at this time, I'm doing what I can with what I have. Got extra new/gently used blankies - send them, have baby clothes not in use - give them, decide to forgo that coffee so you can donate cash - do it! Don't feel helpless, you can always do something as a human, choose to do it in your own unique way because that my friends is heart...so give them HEART!!! <3

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 26 ( Audition 30 )

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT...I never "network," never seemed interested in this aspect of our business...I find it contrived for the most part so I have refused to partake in this process. I've made it my job to make it to openings to films especially if I'm a part of it and my usual stance is come in late to miss the red carpet event ( hate speaking about myself and I feel ridiculous doing so, ) chat with whomever I've done scenes with because goodness forbid I talk to anyone else and I rarely speak unless spoken to, watch/stay for the movie/Q&A without standing or coming forward as one of the actresses and then leaving. This isn't coming from a place of ego driven madness, I love seeing my friends walking that carpet, getting that light and shining bright but I've always felt like I don't belong. I know I belong in front of the camera, I know I belong on that stage but all the in betweens escape my introverted sense, maybe its the years from being ignored when I was younger and wore pigtails with bottle cap thick glasses but I can do without the attention. I have learned to act calm but I'm freaking out on the inside when I've been forced to do the step and repeats but my beast has convinced me just how important they are for the show and for myself...I can't think of how I can be interesting to anyone and why would anyone care? However, this aspect is important and I must get better with this part of the show because it can lead to other things sometimes, so I keep reminding myself to be open. This audition wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been able to make it to the screening of the last film I've had the opportunity to be a part of and although I've never really had this happen to me, it did this time. I had gotten downtown earlier than predicted and decided to stop by my old "Korean Market" to grab some items that I can't get any more since the market in my neighborhood just closed. After snacking on some squid ( yes, I said squid because I'm Korean too and I grew up on squid, ) I raced back to the theatre and ended up in line to pay for parking which was extra long at this point, so my extra 15 minutes for hanging out inside turned into just barely making it in to order popcorn and chat it up with Riji whom I had the scene with. While in line, I met a wonderful gentleman who asked if we had met with the conversation leading to me being a part of the film, he had come to support. He gave me a card, we shook hands and I finally got my popcorn. Headed inside, looked for Riji who was going to save me a seat, saw waving hands and went towards them only to notice it was the guy from outside and a few other people. I went ahead and sat down laughing at myself for just sitting with strangers but as they all introduced themselves, they were director friends of our director there to show Mr. Ramsey some love...gotta love support!!! I ended up meeting a director I have followed on FB and Instagram and then when the show was over, the other director, Mr. Ripley, leaned over and told me to get my stuff over to him...that evening since casting was happening the next day.

I thought to myself, why not? Couldn't hurt since I had no real plans except to get into the gym and this would allow me my 2 workouts and still make it on time. I sent over my stuff and received a message back to come in and that I did. I took care of my body by doing Zumba for an hour, then Pilates and raced on over to Hollywood Casting. Found out the cast was the only ones there pretty much and there was me...waiting to read whatever lines they threw at me and improv if needed. I ended up cold reading the lines for the "Old Woman" so they could just see me work and then some light improv. Asked if I could drum, African dance, ride horses, weapons....I let them know although some things I was proficient at, most things I could pick up quickly as long as I was shown. Being a martial artist and now just picking up different workouts, I've done things here and there. This is the part I tell you to not indulge, let them know what you can and can't do but also let them know if it's something you feel you can truly pick up. I do Zumba which some instructors have some African moves in, I've tried a class or two of African dance just to know what that feels like but I was completely honest by saying I can do it as long as it's choreographed and I'm shown, I can't make up those moves and just give you that off the cuff. I've ridden horses but it's been awhile...DON'T LIE...if you haven't ridden and you know you're not scared, state that but don't lead them to believe you can do more than you can. It's a good way of getting on set and getting fired off set and no one wants that! So when they asked about stunts etc., I stated I was a martial artist and I have no problems with dirt, they laughed because they were martial artists too and asked me to do a kick or something. After I got my bearings in my sandals, I threw my roundhouse, stuck it there for him to snap a picture and we all laughed, me knowing I can never turn down the opportunity to still kick or punch when needed!!! I can't believe this audition happened...so even to the introverted selves reading this, sometimes getting out is good - HA!!!

 
Are you still eating well, cleansing or at least trying to? Are you getting sleep and working out whenever you can? These are non negotiables in life, you have to make time for them regardless of how you may feel. I get that you would rather do what you want, when you want to but there is a time and place. I get cleansing isn't pleasant and we'll do everything besides it including looking up how bad it is for you instead of learning how good it can do your body when done with the correct intentions. "I can't go without food..." but what happens when your body shuts down and you can't eat now because you're sick, really sick and for months? You can't afford not to clean out your system because there are things going on, on the inside that you won't have a clue about until it's too late so understand the method of being preventative. One day of no food and drinking fresh pressed juices won't kill you and from that one day you can take it to 3 days, then learn about the harder cleanses like the Master Cleanse...not for weight loss because you're going to gain it back but for the re-energizing of your insides and the cleansing needed to give your kidneys, liver, blood, heart and body a much needed break. I even plan on water fasting for a day soon...just one day to rejuvenate my system and with doing this for over the past 15 years, I'm rarely sick. I had this weird thyroid growing/puffing up on my neck years ago and each year it became more non existent when I cleansed. Once I added my eating habits of now 5 days vegan, 1 day vegetarian and 1 day of anything I want I've had no flair ups. Simple sweet potatoes, with quinoa & beans along shishito peppers or a buffalo "chix" sandwich with salad and even crepes with organic peanut butter & soy/dairy/nut free chocolate chips, so many choices and at the tips of your fingers. Look, we all know our food can heal us or hurt us but you've got to make those good choices way more often because life just catches up to you and one day you're suffering. I'm not saying this is the end all be all, you may be lucky and never have issues but you are one in a million. Diabetes is running rampant, cholesterol/blood pressure out of sync, kidney stones ( I've never had one yet so I'll keep cleansing since I've heard how painful they can be, ) gall stones and at some point and time you've got to get focused on what you're doing to your body. Yes, I enjoy that shake at times or have a really rich meal but it is a special occasion time and once I do that, I know what I must do to get it out of my system as well. YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOU. My dad was recently diagnosed with a rare blood disease that happens to mostly men around the age of 60 - 70 called Amyloidosis, it's when the bone marrow in your body starts producing protein and instead of your body ridding it, it makes deposits in your muscles...your heart, your kidneys, your liver with little to no warning. You don't feel symptoms until it's too late, then you're diagnosed if you're lucky and then begins cancer treatments for the rest of your life because it's incurable. These are the things happening on the inside, that you can't see but you can try to combat these types of diseases by flushing the system thoroughly out by cleansing, watching what you put in your body including most of these milk products, reading labels to see sugar placed everywhere and understanding that you can do all of this with balance. You don't have to jump on the raw, vegan lifestyle if it isn't you but by being mindful and understanding every bit of what you're putting into your system, including that "healthy shake made of whey protein" by the popular company your friends are selling to you, you begin to grasp just how much crap is actually going into your body with or without your knowledge. You have a choice to take care of you the best way you can, that way when some of the sickness decides to attack your well being, you are able to fight because you are at your strongest. We can't stop everything, but we can try by being mindful...I celebrate you beautiful creatures and I wish you all nothing but the upmost in health! Eat well, play well and keep fighting for those dreams....

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 23, 24 & 25 ( Auditions 27, 28 & 29 )

3 lovely auditions happened when I least expect them to and I can't be happier because now is the slow time. It's August and nothing is really going on...most shows are on hiatus so I lean towards whatever films/web series/theatre that seem to speak to me because now is a great time to be involved with projects without too much worry as to the scheduling. You can submit, submit, submit and see just what may fall into your lap - while waiting, go work out and get back to your regular routine, cook better foods since you have more time and go through your acting lists to see what you need to gear you up for the new season. No time to feel down because auditions aren't happening, it's time to focus on yourself and still try to get out there whenever you can. While doing so, you'll get a few straggling auditions to fill some of that void so just be present, get your mind, spirit and being realigned and get ready for the new incoming of hecticness that will soon take you away from the "normal" routine you've built for yourself once again. First incoming audition was during the week for a big comedy company and I got a chance to read for reporter/journalist with some improv towards the ends of each at Universal. First time in the office and hopefully not the last seeing that I had made her chuckle and not want to give me any redirects, just some fun-fun for this quick and easy chance to show me. 2nd audition was for a low budget film at Canvas Casting for a role playing a woman in a shelter, comedy as well and although I had to come in with my hair down instead of braided like the picture submitted, I hope that they saw the crazy character I created instead. I even asked if the writer was in the room and if improv on some of the lines were okay in which this wonderful woman who was the director/writer stated she loved improv. I always ask in the room, no need to offend a writer especially if it's just some extra grunts and uh huhs that could be funny if thrown in properly. Then to round out this weekend extravaganza of auditions, a self submission was requested for a pilot in San Fran...I was exhausted but the tape was to be in by Sunday at 2p and since I work in the morning, no need to put myself under more stress so I knew Saturday evening was going to be a tape night. So, it was work to audition, audition to reading for a musical ( I DO NOT SING as of yet...) and then to www.quainphoto.com for some good, late night lighting so my tape didn't look ridiculous since no real light was available at 9p. Got some rest and was able to send everything needed by 9:30a as I walked out the door to work - WHEW!!! One was from my manager, one from my own footwork and the other from my agent...remember, it takes everyone working for you so that you can claw your way towards your dreams so find that manager/agent that truly believes in you and what you're representing, then hold on for the ride!!!

During the down time, not only am I working out like a mad woman, but I'm arting it up as well and nothing like hitting up Huntington Library in Pasadena for a wonderful exhibit of a Sci-Fi woman that has passed but was one of the few recognized person of color as well in this genre. Reading her letters of how lonely she was and seeing the pictures of her surrounded by no one that looked like her but knowing that in her heart, this was what called to her...and she did it. As many times of wanting to give up had probably hit her, her affirmations changed her viewpoints every time that

doubt/fear crept in. I cried looking over these private moments of self doubt and seeing that she had only herself many times but used that to remind herself what she desired, dreamed of and wanted out of her work/life. We must be diligent in speaking our truths, even the strongest of us will crack if you don't believe in self but in order to do so, you must remind yourself constantly in this business - NO

ONE can do that for you but YOU and YOU are usually fighting with YOU!!! You will convince yourself that you're not going anywhere, you will say you're not good enough and you can allow others to drain your soul, so you must be in constant guard against outside forces as well as yourself so make sure to inspire yourself whenever possible. Museums, good food, great drinks with wonderful people, video game play to say hello to your younger self, amazing movies that make you question it all and as much pampering whenever you can to realize your body is your vessel and you speak with it..take cares of yous...DREAM BIG but find INSPIRATION and clutch it tight because it takes strength, courage and fortitude to deal in this industry of rejection. You CAN and YOU WILL...just BELIEVE...then eat/drink/play/do/work something delicious to remind yourself just why you're here - fighting the good fight!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 22 ( Auditions 24, 25 & 26 )

I know new media won't pay the bills but if you're looking for some artistic/fun content then you've got a whole new world at your fingertips. I know the $50-$125 price isn't the most appealing, hell, your agent will rarely submit for these but understand all that you can gain just by being open to this slice of the business that wasn't even around 10 years ago! Look, this price will get you that Guest Star/Recurring on your resume which is needed in the long run as you try to make your way into the big budget world. It makes life easier for your agent as well to sell you even if they don't send/get you the job because 10% of $125...is $12 so you've got to do this footwork to build your resume and while doing it getting the experience plus new business contacts. Without new media, I wouldn't have quirky/deputy/uptight boss to pad my resume and it would be a hard job to get through via the regular casting means because sometimes you're just not seen as such and most offices have tons of out of work actors that they already know looking to fill the position. I wanted to be a character actor and to be taken seriously so if that isn't how this business sees you, you've got to take the extra steps to make it happen and get yourself on tape doing these type of roles. Being boxed into a category isn't a bad thing, that could be your bread and butter but for those of us in the floating space of "what the hell can we do with her/him," you can make that piece of the puzzle fit by doing your work and being a part of creative art in the mean time/in between time! Plus, who doesn't want the opportunity to play a vampire/werewolf??? This role was just a fun piece to do and for some peeps I already knew, hence the room being safe and the space to explore. I especially don't care if I book on these jobs, just being in a room of good friends always is added bonus to my day because I know they're rooting for me regardless. So, I get the callback ( can you tell which picture was taken when, you shouldn't because you should always try to look the same for your callback as you did your audition )...although no booking how fun was it to be a snap close to such a fun role. Allow yourself these moments of celebrating the fact that your friends trust you enough to call you in for a role they wrote, considered you as choice and giving you added play time to work your craft! What a way to spend time, to see the other actress they're considering, playing with different girls to see who works well together and understanding that there was nothing but love for you in the room. So off to the next audition...

Getting to play a nurse is always fun and something I'd like to do...this one was for a commercial but for a casting director I had been outta town years before and got a call to audition so I wasn't able to make it. So of course, not getting the opportunity no matter how many times I submitted was a pleasant surprise to finally get in. I showed up early since this was located mid-wilshire and traffic was going to be a bear after 4p, I raced in and changed from the previous look to a quick updo with my hair only to realize I forgot my gel to tame my baby "gotta be free" edges running rampant in the wind from racing place to place, so said up do looked crazy, but you work with what you've got and although I waited for a bit, I was finally seen ahead of the time given. Nothing out of the ordinary, my hands again needing to be shown and I was out of there and on the road by 3:30p. I know commercials aren't my thing but I'll keep on trying until they are...don't ever give up in any aspect of this business because although they've all got ideas on what they want, you can either be the one to change their minds or open up their minds to different options...don't get discouraged, your time is coming and they won't be able to get enough of you soon enough! I mean, look at that goofy face just ecstatic in doing something I love...that's nothing but pure joy, even with things wrong - HA!!!

So, nothing like going from Vampire, to Nurse to workout clothes to discuss MMA for a fun show! I can't complain with days like this, getting to just do everything is exactly how I want it and being comfy on top of it, is an added bonus...yes to sneaks and one piece training gear!!! Yes to giving it your all on every role and yes, yes, yes to this journey we're all on, because it's fun guys...it's really just fun!


Listen, there will be heartbreak...you'll be so close to something you can taste and yet nothing. It can be the most difficult aspect of this journey you're on but you must keep moving forward and show them what they've missed! Case in point, I had a very huge audition for Marvel's Black Panther last year and my agency worked extremely hard in getting me into that office...one, I was at the cusp of height that was considered way too tall ( I'm 5'9 in shoes but flat footed I'm about 5'8 3/4 ) then came the aspect of me being a no name with a lighter tone of skin that they weren't looking for on this particular role, they specifically wanted a darker complexion but they were willing to see me after much back and forth with my team. She must be smaller than 5'9, darker complexion, she must know martial arts like she's a master, as well as speak with a South African dialect were the very specific rules...I haven't worked on my dialect in years. I decided I wouldn't go with the easier British sounding tone and opted to challenge myself to bringing a more traditional African sound mixed with Somalian/Nigerian subtleties since I've been told I have some traits and now with the DNA knowing I am 45% Nigerian I thought that was my safest route, harder but safer in my work. What was interesting was seeing a few people I knew who had no martial arts experience but the right look and I understood how hard my agents had worked just for me to be seen on this production. It took me the full 2 days of rambling throughout the house in my dialect to finally feel like it was a part of me, where I didn't hear the sound of my own voice and was annoyed...the martial arts, well that's just me if they're looking for traditionalist and not tricksters. I had a great time, finally doing some kicks/punches that were wanting to be seen of me and I was right at home in that room. I left not seeing not one person of my skin tone in the office or outside before/during/after my audition, I knew I wasn't even going to come close. 2 weeks later, I got the callback...I was in heaven, I knew I had the skills it was just the height and skin tone that was going to be my vice which is nothing I could do. I created a fight sequence and then I just did basic kicks/punches with a stick at the top to let 'em know I knew what I was doing and could hold a kick out if need be, then drop back. I knew this had nothing to do with me/my work at this point, it was whether they were going to work with me as I was or get someone shorter/darker skin tone etc, etc, etc. I found out I would've shot from January - May and I know this was an all changing role if done right but I wasn't the one...this role wasn't for me. I was devastated but I also knew there wasn't much more I could've done and that sucked...I celebrated to let go by really nice lunches for both auditions and I was happy I had the chance to be in the room not only once but twice for this film. I was close and that was all I could ask for! Although I missed out on this experience, I finished up the play I was in and booked my first video game in motion capture for Arch Angel by Skydance Interactive as the female lead for the first time in my life, doing fight choreography for a music video set to release soon as well as various films/short films during this haul but if I had quit, buried my head and/or spirit, I would've missed out on my next set of art work because I would've been too wrapped up in my own pity party. You gotta understand it's not always about you...especially when it comes to the bigger budget projects, all you can do is kill it in the room and go on to the next! This is why you celebrate after each step/audition - TO LET IT GO!!!! Bye and on to the next project....get going my arties, there's plethora of work out there with your name on it, go find them and SHINE!!!!

With all of this I said yes to being a part of the "2017 Short & Sweet" Festival this year since I was too crazy to get to the Hollywood Fringe again! Theatre is where it's at if you're looking to just work on your work and with so many new/interesting ideas that seem to pop off from these types of festivals, go create! I try to do one theatre freebie a year, one that pays just enough to cover my expenses so I'm either breaking even or coming out just slightly ahead and then I try for the big ones that have very intense rehearsals with equal amounts to pay for them under the AEA contracts and the bigger houses. You gotta keep getting out there and theatre is a lovely way to do it...not to the point where you're paying out of your pocket to be involved but strategically getting roles that will be either seen or good for your own damn soul as you waddle through this muck and mire of the show business landscape. Pretty much 10 - 10 minute plays that'll take up about 2 hours of your evening for either 2 or 4 days ( not much time commitment for the faint of theatre heart ) but they're short so rehearsals shouldn't be a burden. Lucky for me, I was involved via a wonderful writer/director, Kimba Henderson whom I've already had the pleasure of working with for several years along with my usual co-hort Derrex Brady. I was able to finally see the Stella Adler Theatre off of Hollywood and Highland as well as play with some dear friends. This was the 2nd year in L.A. for this festival, they hold auditions every year so make sure you're involved with the next one if time permits!!! They're international...so no excuses if you're looking for something to be a part of, whether you're a beginner or a pro, you'll have a wonderful time being on stage!!! Go to their facebook, like 'em and see when they're holding auditions in your area <3 https://www.facebook.com/shortsweethollywood/ 

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 21 ( Audition 22 & 23 )

I had to make choices...and fast. 2 days before ( whilst in the midst of 1 of 3 days of shooting a detective role, ) I get the notifications of both auditions but one was for a director I had worked with and she was getting me into an office I've had trouble seeing so although both were wordy ( one was 3 pages and the other for a recurring guest star with 4 pages, ) I had to pick one that most of my focus would be drawn to. I decided to go with the devil I know and work hard on the 4 pages and give myself only one day with the video game audition of 3 pages of very intense dialogue. Of course, the night before ( the night I was to spend with the video game lead of 3 wordy pages, ) I get another message stating I was given the wrong character to read and if I could read for another recurring guest part of 8 pages. I almost called my agency to cancel one of my auditions, I didn't think I could do it and definitely not well, especially now with all my attention devoted towards the recurring because I didn't want to embarrass the director I've already worked for who I felt probably vouched for me and got me into that room. I went back and forth all night trying to decide on cancelling the video game audition with another casting office I hadn't seen before but sucked it all up and said this is how you have to make it work. I focused on the recurring guest star because I had someone trusting me with that audition and I glazed over the other audition when I needed a break from the latter. I felt like I had what I could possibly have in a night's time with 8 pages and although the audition was in the early evening, I kept at it all day even during the rehearsal I had for my first Short & Sweet Festival. See, sometimes this business doesn't work in your favor and you've got to make choices, you've got to figure out what is most important and stick with that decision. It sucks because when it rains, it pours...any other week I would've been able to nail both but the way things work, sometimes you just gotta dig in the best you can.

From rehearsal to audition #1 -

The stress of it all overwhelmed me and I have to say, I wasn't my best for the video game audition, especially having to hit up rehearsal for "Withholding" first, but I hoped I'd get a call back to show 'em what I was made of. I had made some strong choices by the information given and I wasn't in the right frame of mind to play as I usually can plus not being off book didn't help the situation as well. I could tell the cd liked me by giving me feedback, letting me know she didn't see it that way but liked what I did and going in several times for different choices. I had decided to use my slight Korean accent but not in a stereotypical way, I blended some British dialect with it to give it a unique sound without going caricature because if it's one thing I hate, it's a stereo type and since they wanted authentic accents, this was the closest I could come up with, without being offensive to myself and my culture. I went more robotic with the character because that is what I perceived her to be from the notes given, however she wanted to see a more relaxed feel, however with the accent given, that proved to be more difficult in the spur of the moment. Especially since this accent comes off more stand offish, I had more warrior undertones in me since I hadn't played with this accent long enough as of yet. At the end of the day, it was a learning experience and I had fun just trying it all...I hope I didn't blow my chances of getting back into that office but I did push the envelope in a different direction and for that, I thank my art!!! Take risks whenever you can, even when you think you can't because you'll feel better about the situation later...play, play and play some more. You'll win some, lose some more but you won't have to feel the shouldas, couldas and wouldas! Have fun and walk, that's my motto and I'm sticking to it....

Off to my 3rd event of the day...time to shake off and focus because...

However I felt, I was all in for the 8 page, guest starring madness! I walked into a room full of people including my wonderful director of "Trouble Creek." She was thoughtful enough to mention the fact that I had just been given the change of sides/character which went from 4 pages to 8 pages the night before and asked if I was okay to do it...I said "Let's Play!!!" I meant every word of it and play I did - yes, I fumbled a few words here and there, yes, I had to look down just a couple of times but I was in. I knew I knew who this girl was and I figured they had an offer out on this role but I was going to show up and show out for this office and this woman who risked me being there. When I looked up through tears from the role, I caught a glimpse of pride from my director and that was all I needed to see. Hearing the sighs in the room and the under the breath compliments was my reassurance that I had did what I came in to do. I wasn't expecting to get this role, I just wanted to make sure I left an impression that I too, could be given this opportunity and nail it as well if needed. Getting 8 pages instead of one line can give you the moments you need to show a big office that you know what you're doing and I was given that. Years ago, this was the place I was at for a couple years before I had quit, not knowing how close I was and I'm just thankful to be back at getting these types of shots once again. Booking, no booking - doesn't matter, the fact I can give it and knowing now my time is coming is all I want to show...my art speaks for itself and the more eyes that gets to see it, the better my odds will be.

I left the room high...I woke up to another email from my agent letting me know they wanted to see me again. Same episode, guest star role in a day...YES to that!!! Again, I have no cares that this role will probably go to someone else known but I know that I made enough of an impression to be called back into the same office I haven't been called into since a line from "Dexter" and they were going to see me twice in one week with a totally different character choice. WAHOO to that goodness! I'm in the midst of my last shoot day as a detective on a show I did last year, so I'm getting to spew the Miranda Rights and memorize my scene while on set all day Thursday. In I went on a Friday morning dressed like an office personnel and although the lines didn't feel like they sticked as I wanted, I knew who she was. I decided to add a slight touch of comedy to her instead, nothing big but a risk I wanted to show since the last role was me more serious and emotional. I had them laugh, they asked to see a more punched version of her and I did that, getting a few more laughs and after 3 times, I was outta there. I went out passing the girls wishing them all luck, down the hall into the waiting room to put on my flip flops to change and I heard someone running down the hall calling my name over and over again....they were calling me back into the room! I quickly put my heels back on and raced with them back into the room to be asked to show them one more side of this character, a more serious tone to her and that I did. I switched it all up and hoped that I let them see I could do whatever was needed...this time I left for good as I noticed more women and most of them recognizable names. Changed and realized I went through what I had always wanted to happen in an acting fantasy, I've heard about this, never had it happened to me. Whether I get this or not, a movie moment happened and the universe showed me I was doing exactly what I should be doing - PERIOD! I ended up walking out of the building with the lovely and very friendly actress Vanessa Williams ( from Soul Food ) whom I had just auditioned against and was chatting on the street for a bit in front of the studios with her. What a way to end a magical time, speaking to a very working actress who didn't know me but was absolutely kind and me being able to give her some info. Savor the moments...it's not about the booking!

Love these days, want more and now I know for sure, I'm getting more...you as well, just keep going my arties!!!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 20 ( Audition 21 )

I NEVER, EVER, EVER get commercial auditions...maybe it's because my nationality can't fit into a perfect box which is mostly needed in this business world. I just saw the first mixed woman that looked like me ( that I've ever seen ) on a McDonald's commercial and let me tell you when I say, I schreeched at the T.V. screaming "Finally Dammit!!!" If you're a minority, you're definitely aware of the racial box that's shown and if you're mixed/exotic it gets even more weird, so I'm just not that excited when I get these auditions. I go because my face does need to be seen and who knows, I may eventually book because of numbers but getting into a casting office for commercials is a once in a blue moon type of deal. This is my 3rd one this year and that's more than what I've had in the past few years combined - that's a win!!! Of course it's all the way in Santa Monica, at 4p no doubt so I decide to show up a bit early in hopes of beating some of the traffic. It was a longer one since there was action needed and although I wasn't out as quickly as imagined, I was able to hit up a walkable cafe for some vegan food and a vegan gogi berry cookie to congratulate myself on showing up because sometimes it's just about showing up - HA!!! In the car and my navigation tells me it's like an hour and a half to get home at 3:30p, urghhhhh and here lies the life of an actor...not so charming or beautiful but when it's something you breathe, you get up and deal with the grind of it all, the good and the bad. I may not be in the commercial world the way I've imagined or always wanted, but I'm 3 deep and we still have the rest of the year to go...find the goodness and smile big!

With all the madness and mayhem, I hope you understand the importance of celebrating and still holding true to this ritual. I know it goes against the grain, you figure why celebrate? You didn't get that call! You didn't get your agent all excited once again! You didn't prove to yourself or others that you could book! Hey, get outta that space!!! Let me tell you what you did so you can realize exactly what your art does for you day in and day out without reward...
You got the sides the evening before the audition after a long day/evening work
You print up your sides and try to devour the show you're auditioning for to get a sense of style/pace
You broke down the scene, memorized the lines the best you could exhausted
You go through all the necessary steps to clear your time for the audition, getting coverage etc
You skipped your usual decompression choices because hell, you've got an audition to do
You prep yourself to make sure you look presentable for the next day
You go over your lines just before your head hits the pillow
You go over your lines as your eyes are opening up for the day
You're waking up over a quick bite with the lines
You groom yourself to what you feel the character should look like
You record your lines so you can say them in the car while driving
You rush out 15/30 minutes early so you can deal with the stress of traffic
You go over your lines dealing with traffic because it's always bad
You get to your audition a few minutes early enough to catch your breath, calm down and look over you lines
You rush into the office only to see other actors waiting...you wait
Finally you're seen for 2-5 minutes and you're done
This is why you CELEBRATE!!! When you learn to give back to yourself consistently, you don't have to worry so much about the booking, you've already acknowledged to yourself and your art that you enjoyed the process and kicked butt doing it. Do you understand how much you put in just to be seen for 2-5 minutes and that's not even getting the job! Learn to appreciate these moments and more will come...I decided to buy some real nice Japanese whiskies ( after my last big job) to enjoy on a great evening when possible, as a celebration since there is no way of me buying them at a bar. I may make a wondrous, colorful salad that delights my tastebuds as well as my sight or treat myself to lunch since I most likely didn't get a good meal in during this 2-3 hour process. However big or small, it's mine and I encourage you to start considering doing that for your artist self, it let's you let go of what you cannot control but enjoy the moments that you can! You've earned it, it's okay, reward yourself for putting in the work and see how much your artie self gives back every chance it can!!! CHEERS...

Back at it in for my first participation in the Short and Sweet Festivals that happen in L.A. I've heard of 'em but have never had the pleasure of being in a show since I'm usually in the Hollywood Fringe which I ended up missing this year. Thankfully, I've got a few friends in shows that have extensions that I'm hoping to make and I'll be able to post about this new festival of short plays that I'll be in via Kimba Henderson's "Withholding" and my usual counterpart Derrex Brady - WAHOO! Rehearsals have started and although I feel a bit busy, things are beginning to wind down so I'm looking forward to enjoying this whole process with my full attention. I decided to accept this job in the midst of my madness, knowing that things will work out...sometimes you've just gotta say yes and just do it which will create that work begets work mode that we as artists seek. Feel overwhelmed, feel pressure and chaos and do it all anyway - You've trained for this, you've worked for this and you've earned this...don't let you stop you from doing it all! Get in the habit now for your future goodness, I keep telling myself this in order to deal because it's gonna be madness and mayhem but it'll be something you can handle especially with practice now! TRUST....LOVE!!!!

The "Glamorous" Life of Auditions - Day 19 ( Audition 20 )

For years I've been pushing back on what I look like to be a better actress, not a one hit wonder but truly someone with a bag full of goodies to share once she was given the opportunity. Although I totally shy away from stereotypical roles of all kinds sometimes just getting into an office to be seen once again, to remind these people who you are is in your favor. I don't want to play "rap guy's girlfriend, trampy tramp, ghetto fab" etc but I do on occasion, make an exception. I figure, go in, do it and cross the bridge when it comes to that point of accepting the role or not. I saw this show in the breakdowns and actually submitted for a different role but was called in for something I really had no interest in but since it was with a casting director I needed to touch base with again, I decided to accept, of course shaking my head all the way. It is what it is...don't be so rigid in your choices that you don't allow yourself a chance to be seen in a different light, this may open up another door to something better and if not, you can always say no! I don't mind every once in awhile, showing up to do a "skanky" type role - why? - because this helps with my character base on other more in depth characters I keep developing. I want to find the truth in these parts so that when an amazing opportunity opens up for me to play a full multi-layered soul, I'm not cold on it, that I've brought different aspects to this being because I've played her in many different ways, giving me choices that I can grab from. No, I don't want to play the normal ridiculous characters I usually see come up, but I do want the practice of getting my idea of a injured, gritty soul and sometimes, just auditioning can help with your choices in deciding what that person will be to you. So why not if the circumstances are good, I've turned down plenty when I feel no benefit but if it gets you into the room of someone who needs to see you once again, dig in and get to work. You might make her too much and that may not be what they're looking for - WHO CARES, do your art my arties, there's less pressure when you could care less whether you get the part anyways, it's a good way to practice that mantra as well as developing new facets of being all while having some serious eyes on you. In the end, I had fun and I even got to see a face I knew, ( Greg, ) catch up, as well as checking back in with a certain casting office that needed to realize I was doing different things. Push all these things to make you a better artist, you deserve it and who knows, you could book the damn thing with the lovely choices you wanted anyway!

I thought I was all done with the video game but another day to work is always welcomed! They had decided to go in a different direction on some of the levels of the game and so here I was getting to play once again. This experience into the motion capture/video game world has been wondrous and I'm hoping to find more stuff on this level to do and to know that I got this because the director is a theatre head and we were all theatre people - HA! You never know what is looked at on a resume, so never overlook a particular side of this business, it may help get you a job you weren't expecting! Again, there is good theatre in L.A., find them and do them!!! Sometime in July, "Arch Angel" will officially drop for VR and I can't wait to share more. 

I've officially wrapped as the detective on Season 2 of a show I can only share once after it airs but I am ever so thankful for another opportunity with a great director and crew. Also got to see/shoot on some cool stages and around L.A. this time around...Sometimes, you as an actor, get lucky enough to come across shows that champion you, never let them go! I'll never forget those that took the chance on me, I'll never not try to work on a show that gave me a shot, I'll never think I'm too good when I know these people only make me better....find that tribe, relish in it and never lose sight of working with people who root, cheer and wish you nothing but the best! I can't wait to be in a space where I can return the favor or show my eternal gratitude because having people believe in you when you're considered a "nobody," is all the fuel you need to keep going until.... I can't wait to be a part of Season 3!!! Stay ready, stay hungry and stay humbled.... LOVE!!!

"Ole Bryce" is coming...